This past week I began a Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Online Bible Study. We’re reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. I already had the Kindle version of the book but hadn’t read it yet, so this was the perfect opportunity to do so. I have never done a Proverbs 31 online Bible study or any online Bible study for that matter. So far it’s been very rewarding and a lot of fun. But most importantly it’s already stretching me to say “yes” to God starting with this question, “What’s holding me back from God?”
If you’ve been around here some you may know that I have an intense desire – I call it conviction – to stay-at-home full-time with our new baby girl. My husband has come to realize that’s it’s important, also, but he still feels the stress of carrying all of the finances. So he’s asked me to find a part-time, work-from-home job.
And I did. Actually I don’t even feel like I “found it”. I truly believe it was orchestrated by God.
However, it is completely – and I mean completely – out of my comfort zone! I’m on a team of wonderful, Godly women (one of which I met at the She Speaks writing conference over a year ago. She’s my partner.), but I am an independent owner of a business. Me! A business owner! An entrepreneur! I have a few degrees in teaching kids how to read. I know NOTHING about business!
So why would God bring me to a business where I have very little experience or knowledge? And why would He bring me to a business that’s not a go-to-work-and-get-paid job, but a you-better-work-your-tail-off-because-it-is-what-you-make-of-it job? It’s success is completely in my hands.
As I prayed about my new business venture, pleading with God to help me, I heard His voice say to me, “I’m using this to prepare you for the other thing.”
The other thing. The thing that keeps me up at night. The thing that gets me excited. The thing that I wish, oh how I wish, I could earn just some income so that I could do it full-time from home. The other thing is to be a Christian writer and maybe even speaker. To be in ministry full-time (Typing that right now makes me feel sick. You’ll understand why coming up.)
Except there’s a problem. God has made it clear that there’s something holding me back from serving Him in that way.
I am deathly afraid of what you think of me.
I say “you” because this applies to anyone who’s not me.
Every time I post on Facebook a blog I wrote, my heart beats fast. Every time I tell someone in person that I am a blogger (Forget about using the word writer. That’s way too much!), my knees shake. And thoughts like, “What if they think I’m weird?” or “What if they don’t like me anymore?” or “What if they think I’m like a Bible thumping, judgmental-type?”, come into my mind.
The crazy thing is that this new business – that’s exactly what I have to do. I have to tell people, “Yes, I am an independent consultant!”, “Yes, it is direct sales! Wanna buy something?”, and “Yes, there is some multi-level marketing, but it’s not a scheme, I promise! It’s different!”
I have to totally put myself out there. All of myself. Or else it won’t be successful.
God is teaching me that in order for me to say “yes” to Him, I first have to say, “I am a servant of Christ, not other people. I have to follow Jesus and go where He leads me. I have to be a Yes Girl!”
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10
My fear of what you think of me reveals my lack of faith. It shows that I really don’t believe God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
So there you have it. That’s what’s holding me back from saying “yes” to God. But I’m thankful that He has revealed it.
Now share with me, what’s holding you back from saying “yes” to God?
Here are some other Bible verses that are helping me as I overcome fearing what other people think of me:
“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” Proverbs 29:25
“But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4
“For they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.” John 12:43
“Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?” Isaiah 2:22
‘I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
“But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.” Acts 5:29
“So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.” 2 Corinthians 5:9
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2
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