It has only been six days since John went into the hospital and already I am desperate. I have been conscious to pray for patience during this process of waiting for a heart for John. I know that God works most in these times of waiting. This is where He grows us, stretches us, and makes us into the people He wants us to be. Since we found out that John needs a heart transplant I have prayed for his donor. I have hoped that he is close to God and knows Jesus personally. But if not I have prayed consistently for his salvation. I have asked God to bless us with the opportunity to meet him in Heaven one day so that we can thank him for his gift of life for John personally.
So this time is precious. God is using it for amazing things in our lives, the lives of others, and the life of John’s heart donor. I know that.
However, as John endures the ICU each day and night, and I drive back and forth to the hospital and sit there with him each day, watching him struggle to lay there, sometimes in pain from his lack of movement, I am tempted to forgo being patient and just start being desperate. I am tempted to rush this time forward just to get to the other side where there is normalcy and comfort and security. But where is God in that? Is He still in control then? Am I truly surrendered to His will and timing? Do I really trust Him that He knows the perfect time?
On the way home today I thought about existence, from the “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1), until Jesus comes back, like one of those gigantic 5000 piece jigsaw puzzles that take forever to put together. Each puzzle piece is like the events and circumstances that make up the lives of everyone in the world.
Individually each piece looks unrecognizable and insignificant. It’s hard to believe that one piece would make that much difference to the whole picture. If you take a piece and try to fit it into the wrong place it might stay there, but with resistance. A lot more effort goes into getting into place than necessary. It doesn’t sit flush with the pieces that it borders, and sometimes it even pops back up, and you have to force it down again. If there are enough pieces that are in the wrong place when the puzzle is complete, then it has no significance. It is just an indistinguishable image.
God is putting together a glorious jigsaw puzzle with the ending being a picture of eternity with Him in Heaven. Therefore, my patience is important. Each event, each circumstance, each set-back, each hardship is a part of His ultimate plan. Fortunately, because of His love and grace, He comes behind me and works out all of those puzzle pieces that I try to force down in the wrong place. He works out my desperation, my impatience, and “He makes all things work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
As I am tempted to rush God’s timing, I have to seek, meditate upon, and allow His truth about patience become a part of me so that I can live it out.
God’s Word says this about patience:
Psalm 40:1-2 “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”
Habakkuk 3:16 “I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; crept into my bones, and my legs trembled. Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us.”
Romans 8:25 “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”
Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Hebrews 6:15 “And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.”
2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
Revelation 3:10 “Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth.”
Revelation 14:12 “This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.”
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