John went back to work today. I did, too, but the remarkable part is that John did.
I feel like we have entered The Promised Land that God had for us all along, even though I couldn’t see it. I remember being the hospital in early August and specifically trying to imagine the month of October. I couldn’t imagine it. It was as if time was hanging over Duke Hospital. Each day was like the previous one – daunting, oppressive. I could not imagine October because I did not know what October would mean for me. I did not know if I would be alone.
Time has the uncanny ability to move really fast even when it seems to be at a halt. So today here we are – in October.
When I woke up this morning all I could think of was The Promised Land. The desert must of felt to the Israelites like the hospital felt to me – like a place that sucked the time without it moving. The Israelites’ time in the desert came at a cost. They lost loved ones just like I lost my mom. But then there is God’s promise. Waiting out there in time, not moving at all – just waiting – for His perfect timing. He is never changing.
So as I sit here in October, it is a gift, a blessing, that I did not deserve, but that God had for me the entire time. The ending does not make the loss, the mourning, the sadness any less painful, but it does help me to look to His promises and to eternity because that’s really all I have to look towards. The next time I face my “hospital” experience in another season of life with different circumstances the outcome may be different, but my promise will be the same.
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