I sat across from our pastoral counselor giving all the right answers. I knew the depth of God’s love for me. I knew that I was formed in a fearful and wonderful way. I knew that God never will leave me nor forsake me. I knew that God has a divine plan for my life. I knew that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I knew that I was forgiven.
I could regurgitate Christian truth like I was regurgitating what I did yesterday. I sounded like an emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy Christian.
Except there was a gap. I knew all of these things, but I did not feel them.
I sat there with this battle going on inside of me. I know all the answers, so why can’t I feel them? Why can’t I live them? Why aren’t they a part of me?
Where is the abundant life? Am I spiritually healthy?
This is when I realized that my relationship with Jesus is a head relationship more than it is a heart relationship.
My spiritual health cannot be measured by what I know. It can only be measured by taking what I know and through the pathway of my heart looking at my production of Godly fruit.
I began to break down the process of taking what I know about God’s Word and making it a part of who I am – my core being – so that my life reflects it. The more I read, reread, study, and meditate on God’s Word, the more I know about it. But how does the comprehension – becoming part of the text and the text becoming part of me – take place? I know from being a reading teacher that one key component of comprehending text is the ability to make a connection to it based on previous knowledge or experiences. This is true for comprehending scripture as well.
Over time what I learn in the Bible and what I experience in life begin to reflect each other. No longer are my knowledge and my experiences isolated. I begin to look for God’s Word in my daily life, and I begin to look for my daily life when reading God’s Word. They are one in the same impacting each other and affecting each other so that I am one with the Word of God and the Word of God is one with me. (Hebrews 4:12)
That is when I feel the abundant life.
The abundant life becomes heart feeling and not just head knowing when I allow the Word of God to infiltrate every aspect of my being, working together to create the fruit God has purposed for me.
What about your relationship with God? Is it more of a head relationship or a heart relationship?
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