Being single into my early thirties I still, deep down, bought into the hope lie that marriage would make everything better, that it would solve most of my problems, and even if it didn’t at least I wouldn’t be lonely anymore and maybe I could have children. I knew better than to think this. I was warned. But from the outside looking in at all of my friends’ marriages, it looked so easy. Easier than being single, anyway, and that’s what I wanted.
Within two months of our new marriage my husband and I had both moved to a new state for the first time in our lives, both started new jobs, and both heard the daunting news, “John, your heart cannot take the Cardiomyopathy anymore. You will have to have a heart transplant.” With those words my easy vision of marriage exploded, and I was thrown into a world I did not expect. Yes, I knew that John had Cardiomyopathy before I married him, and I honestly think God protected me with naivety so that I would not run from the purpose He was preparing me for, but I still went in with blurred eyes of blissful perfection, and my ideal quickly erupted.
Recently I was asked how chronic illness has affected our marriage, so this week I am going to share my experiences. I want to give the caveat that my story in no way compares to many others. For us there was an end, and the ending was miraculous. However, through our process with John’s sickness and transplant, I continually thought of the many people who live with chronic illness every day without much hope, other than a miracle, for full recovery. I think often about the parents with children who have chronic illnesses and adult children who take care of their aging parents. The stories are endless. Being in the hospital with John for forty-three days, I saw enough faces of these people to know that they are the real sacrificers, laying down their lives for those they love day-in and day-out, and they need our prayers.
Please join me each day as I share my experiences with chronic illness in my marriage, and please share your experiences as well. More importantly, let’s pray this week for the countless number of people who each day lay their lives down in order to care for those they love who are sick. Let’s pray for their strength, their perseverance, and for continued hope.
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