It was 2007, and I had just come out of two back-to-back relationships that could have ruined my life forever. Begging these men to say that I was o.k., give me value, show me that I’m worthy – they were no good. I was no good. Plus, I had just crossed over the threshold of true adulthood – I turned 30. I was tired. Emotionally beaten down. I didn’t even recognize myself.

I stood in my living room that summer wondering why again. Why did I continue to make the same mistakes over and over and over and over again? Especially when I do truly loved God so much. That day I was done. I would do anything. Go anywhere. Be single forever. I no longer cared to hold on. I surrendered.

“It’s time, God. Send me.”

Five years later I’m married, have a baby, living an ordinary life with ordinary circumstances. Still wondering when I’m going to be used big. 

Where did that prayer go? Was “anything” not enough for God?

I’m not selling my house, moving to Africa, speaking to thousands, writing a book. I’m not starting a ministry, saving women from human trafficking, adopting a baby.

It seems as if my anything just isn’t big enough.

Then I remember how God has used me. He’s used me in ways that aren’t “big” according to the world’s standards, but are super big by His.

I had reduced the ways God has used me to nothing. Craving more I discounted God’s answer to my prayer.

Big is relative and big is seasonal.

We have to be careful to not crave big for big sake. It’s not about how much we feel like we can do for God or how much we want to do for the world. When we think like this “big” becomes self-seeking. It becomes tainted by poor motive. It becomes about us.

But God’s big is different. He has big work to do in the small, everyday things.

Do you not think reading your child a Bible story is big? His soul’s at stake. It’s big to God. 

Do you not think praying for your husband who won’t pray with you is big? The covenant you made together could be strengthened. It’s big to God. 

Do you not think being single and devoting your time to Bible study is big? You’re preparing your legacy. It’s big to God. 

Do you not think making a budget to use your money wisely is big? You’re allowing room for more giving. It’s big to God.

Do you not think taking a meal to a sick friend is big? You’re being the hands and feet of Jesus. It’s big to God.

All of our days will not be filled with events that we typically define as “big”. But to God everyday, every event is big. It’s an opportunity to reflect His life within you. A life that makes heads turn and ears perk up. A life that plants seeds. A life that reveals something unseen. A life that lives for eternal purposes.

It’s time to redefine our big. It’s not about us. It’s about what He’s doing through us.

Today I challenge you to make a list of all the “big” you’ve done in the last five years. When you think that your life just isn’t big enough, remember this list.

Then share with us. What “big” have you done?