It’s the last day – Day 31 – of the series 31 Days of Lessons Learned from My 20’s! If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

When I was about 23 years old I made a bold statement. Like most women, I knew I wanted children one day. So I said that if I’m not married by the time I’m 30, then I’m going to adopt a baby. 

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with adopting a baby at 30 years old if that’s what God’s leading you to do. I actually knew a girl who did just that. But I didn’t make that statement because God was leading me in that direction. I made that statement because in my mind 30 was old. Not too old to have babies, but too old to not know for sure if I was going to.

I made that statement out of fear. 

Don’t let 30 scare you.

Right now I’m 37. Don’t ask me how that happened because my mind still thinks it’s 23, except that I like to think I’m a little more mature. I’ve lived long enough now to see that each decade seems to have its own space in your life – its own personality if you will.

In my 20’s I was desperately insecure. I was a “right now” kind-of thinker. I thought that if I didn’t do something to get it done, whatever “it” was, then my life wouldn’t turn out the way I wanted. I thought I had to make life happen. 

Then 30 rolled around. I still struggled, and still struggle, with these things sometimes, but something’s different.

I guess you could say I grew up. Or I got tired. Or I surrendered my life more to Jesus. I hope it’s the latter.

But regardless, my 30’s have been peaceful while at the same time gut-wrenchingly painful. Not the same kind of pain of my 20’s. Not fear or loneliness, but life-and-death pain. Like watching my husband lay on life-support and undergo a heart transplant. And seeing my mom turn white-headed from cancer in literally two months and eventually die at 54.

In my 30’s I’ve come to the end of myself.

When 30 hits and life continues, each year showing you how real it is and how broken we are and how it’s not ever going to be perfect, you realize life’s not about you and it’s harder than you think, and all you can say is “Jesus”.

I guess you can say that my eyes started to open to the deep places within myself. Some places that are good, by the grace of God, and some places that are rotten. But all places showing me that without Jesus I am nothing.

Your 20’s are a lot about what’s going on with your outward circumstances. Did you graduate college? Do you have a job? Are you staying pure in dating? Are you in the party crowd? Do you have a lot of friends? Are you dating someone? Are you getting married soon?

But your 30’s are when you start focusing inward. 

You would think that this would bring a lot of anxiety, but actually it has brought a lot of freedom. Freedom to be who I am in Christ. Freedom to focus on eternity and not right now. Freedom to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.

And freedom brought peace. 

So don’t let 30 scare you. Even if you’re not where you want to be in life – if you’re not married, don’t have children, hate your job, tired of living alone. Instead, ask God to show you the deep places of your heart. And find freedom and peace there.

This ends the 31 Days series! I’m so happy you followed along with me! There were a few days I missed because of life, but I will fill them in to complete the series! You can read all of the posts here.  If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

Are you afraid of turning 30? What scares you the most?