Why You Must Fight for Your Singleness

You often hear the phrase “fight for your marriage”. There are tons of blog posts, books, conferences, and sermons to equip you to do just that. But the more I talk to single women, the more I realize that marriage is not the only season of life that needs fighting for. You must fight for your singleness, too.

I have the privilege to know several women in my personal life and online who are single. Some are just starting out in their early 20’s. Some are in their 30’s, and even others are in their 40’s. When I sit down with them over coffee and through email, I hear their anxiousness, frustration, and fear. I sense a feeling of hopelessness.

We talk a lot in Christian circles about our churches being under attack, our marriages being under attack, our children being under attack. But, single woman, I want to warn you. You are under attack, too, in a vital way.

One trend I’ve noticed in my personal life when it comes to the enemy’s attacks is that they often come when something has potential. For example, a few years ago I went to the She Speaks writing conference where I met with a few publishers and presented a book proposal. The weeks leading up to the conference I was busy writing and preparing. If you know anything about book proposals, writing them is no small job. However, during those weeks something else was going on. My home was in shambles. My husband and I were fighting and arguing – the worst I had ever experienced. It was awful.

Then, on a training call with one of the conference presenters, she told us to not be surprised if leading up to the conference we felt the enemy’s attacks. She reminded us that the enemy wants to “steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10)” our potential to spread God’s truth and be a disciple for Jesus.

You have great potential as a single woman, and the enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy the potential he sees in you.

Any time a woman is faced with a trial or temptation she has the choice to rely on God and show that His grace is sufficient for her or shirk back and take matters into her own hands. We take matters into our own hands in many ways. We go to . . .

• men we know are wrong for us but are at least a warm body.
• sugar or food or alcohol.
• Facebook to get lost in other people’s lives.
• unholy romance novels.
• mindless television and movies.
• pornography.
• excessive shopping.
• Pinterest to pine over material possessions.
• self-pity and depression.
• busyness under the disguise that “we’re needed”.
• workaholism.
• past boyfriends.
• guys who are “just friends” and will never be more, but just maybe?

Right now your singleness may be a trial or a temptation for you. You may desperately want to be married. You may be full of fear for the future. You may be so discontent and lost that you don’t even know what to do with yourself. But God sees great potential in you.

He sees a woman who has the opportunity to experience Himself through her weakness. He sees a woman who has the opportunity to show others that His presence is the sustainer of all life even in the midst of trials. He sees a woman who has the opportunity to build a never-ending legacy for her future family and the people around her through her choices now, her integrity now, and her commitment to Him now.

God sees great potential in you. He wants to use you.

The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy you.

You must fight for your singleness. You must hold onto it with endurance and allow God’s grace to be made perfect in your weakness. God has amazing things He wants to do in you and through you. Don’t allow the enemy to take that away.

What is one positive step you are taking today to fight for your singleness?

Share with me in the comments! 

One step you can take is join us for a summer online Bible study starting May 28th! We’re reading Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and meeting here on the blog and in a private Facebook group to discuss it. You do not have to buy a book. It will help you go deeper, but each week I will post “homework” for you to use. Read all the details here, and be sure to email me if you have any questions!