It’s day 31 of 31 Days of Interviews with Single Women. The last day of the series! You can find a list of all the interviews in this post.
Also, be sure to enter the giveaway to win an autographed copy of Allison K. Flexer’s new book Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman at the bottom of today’s interview. This giveaway will continue through Friday!
Today I’m talking with Morgan McFarlin! Morgan says:
The secret to living a purposeful and fulfilling life? Realizing that God created me distinctly and for a unique purpose. My purpose is not dependent on my relationship status, rather, it is essential to God’s plan that I live each day fully. Do I believe that God means for me to be married someday? Yes, of course. But this doesn’t mean that I can sit around and wait to “start my life” when Mr. Right saunters in. I don’t want to look back on this time in my life and have any regrets. And I know that if I don’t embrace the now, right now, I will eventually wish I had.
I can relate so much to Morgan’s interview! Like Morgan, all I wanted to be was a wife and mother. This is hard as a single woman because you question your purpose when marriage isn’t a reality at the time. I also love that Morgan supports Natural Family Planning. I use Natural Family Planning. So sit back and enjoy this wonderful interiew with Morgan that ends our 31 Days series !
Brenda: First, tell us a little about yourself – your name, age, where you live, and where you grew up.
Morgan: Hi! My name is Morgan McFarlin and I’m currently 24. I live in Urbana, IL, which I LOVE. We have a super cute downtown with locally owned shops and a Saturday farmer’s market! The dream! I grew up in northern Illinois, about an hour outside of Chicago, but I studied at Illinois State University, so have been living in central Illinois for a little over 6 years.
Brenda: Where do you work, and how did you get started in your job?
Morgan: Oh man, this is a long story. I work for an organization called Students for Life of Illinois. We’re a pro-life organization seeking to educate, equip, and empower pro-life college students to become pro-life leaders. I serve as a Campus Mentor and also manage the operations of our organization. All through college, I felt an immense call to ministry. Much as I tried to push past it for more “realistic” goals, I just couldn’t ignore this call. Eventually, I gave in and in allowing the Lord to lead me through whatever door He chose, here I am! Never did I think I would be with SFLI as long as I have been, but I’m so thankful that I am.
Brenda: Do you feel like your job is God’s calling on your life or do you hope it leads to something else
Morgan: For the time being, yes, definitely. When I first began in full-time ministry, I saw it as a stepping stone to something else. But what I’m doing to mentor college kids into better versions of themselves…well, I can’t imagine doing anything else. I plan to “stay the course” until the Lord tells me to move on!
Brenda: When you envisioned your life as a young girl, did you hope to have a career when you grew up or was your desire more for marriage and children or did you want both for your life?
Morgan: All I ever wanted was to be a mom. Even entering into college, I expected to meet my future husband by the time I graduated. The idea of having a career wasn’t something that particularly attracted me. Not that I didn’t have dreams or goals, but I’ve always seen being a wife and mother as the highest calling. So imagine my surprise when upon graduation, I am single and heading into the workforce! However, I am so grateful for this opportunity to learn more about what I want out of life and about who I am as a person! So much has changed for the better in the past years…thank God I didn’t get married straight out of college! I definitely still have my sights set on marriage and babies, but I’m more open to the possibility of working in conjunction with all of that. I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see!
Brenda: What fires you up? What are you most passionate about in your life and in the world?
Morgan: More than anything, I desire to bring Truth and community to the people around me. Our world is in such need of love and genuine Truth. I feel I have a knack for bringing people together and aiding them in becoming better versions of themselves, and I hope to do this no matter my stage in life. I’m really fascinated by Natural Family Planning and hope in the coming years to become a NFP practitioner.
Brenda: Are you involved in serving in your community or church? What, if any, ministries or organizations are you a part of?
Morgan: Yes! While I work slightly hectic and exhausting hours with college students, I’ve made serving in my church a priority. I currently teach 7th grade religious education and am hopefully helping to spearhead a high school ministry soon! My friends and I regularly attend parish events and have begun a young professionals community.
Brenda: Tell us one thing you LOVE about being single and one thing you hate (or your biggest struggle) about being single.
Morgan: What I love about being single: my independence. My biggest fear about being single: being alone forever.
Brenda: I imagine there are times when you feel content in your singleness and other times when you want to throw something across the room because of it, but overall, how do you feel about being a single woman? Is there more contentment and peace or more of the opposite?
Morgan: The majority of the time, I’m content with my life. My life is GOOD! I have so much going for me and I sincerely love the life I live. The restlessness comes in when others question my singleness. When friends or relatives ponder aloud why I’m “still” single. This makes me feel as if there’s something wrong with me, as if I’m not where I should be in life. So the peace is there, but only when I’m focused on the Lord and where He wants me to be, rather than where others expect me to go.
Brenda: Do you ever get mad at God because you are single? When bitterness, discontentment, confusion, and even jealousy creep into your mind, how to you deal with it? Do you have a go-to person or scripture verse or something else that helps?
Morgan: I’ve always had a hard time trusting God. Since He’s shown me very clearly time and time again that He’s created me for marriage, I really have no reason to question His timing. However, it’s exceedingly difficult to accept that my plan is MY PLAN alone when everyone else’s plan (or so it seems) is what I am yearning for. The struggle is real. The loneliness and comparison and despair is real. What I have to constantly remind myself is that God never promises anything that He doesn’t follow through with. He has promised me a future full of hope, and a future full of hope He will deliver.
Brenda: How do you deal with loneliness?
Morgan: I surround myself with like-minded people. Some of my best friends, and favorite people to be around, are other folks, like myself, who are seeking something greater. So much the better if they’re also single! But I have many married friends who have been where I am in life, and their understanding of this struggle of waiting helps us to bond more than anything.
Brenda: Do you struggle with obsessing about guys and dating? Like, if you’re interested in a guy or if you just start dating someone new, do you think about him constantly, analyze every conversation, and get overly attached quickly? Is so (or if not) how do you deal with your emotions?
Morgan: Oh yes! Ha! Well, I learned long ago that the longer I don’t talk about crushes, the better! The more I talk about who I like and why, the harder it is to remain emotionally chaste. If I’m talking nonstop about a guy who I barely know, and over analyzing everything he’s ever said to me with every one of my girlfriends, well, it’s going to be a lot harder when nothing happens between us. I’m less likely to be disappointed and have others disappointed for me if I wait to talk about things with people until there’s something to actually talk about! My best resources are a couple of good friends who I know I could gush about boys to and they won’t gush with me. They let me get it out of my system while helping me keep everything in perspective. Sure, that might not be as satisfying as a friend who wants to know every dirty detail, but in the long run, it’s much better for my heart.
Brenda: What is your biggest pet peeve about the way single women are perceived?
Morgan: My biggest pet peeve about singleness is that being alone equates loneliness. Also, people need to understand that not everyone is on the same timeline. Just because many wed in their early twenties doesn’t mean that everyone must! And for those of us who don’t, there’s nothing wrong with us, our stories are simply different.
Brenda: Do you struggle with finding community in your local church? How do you find community in a world that seems coupled up?
Morgan: I haven’t had an issue with this since my parish priests have been extremely helpful in building a young adult community in our church. But what it takes is initiative! They wouldn’t have known to step up in this way if we hadn’t made the need known!
Brenda: Are more of your girlfriends married or single? How do you find authentic friendships as a single woman?
Morgan: These days, I have a good mix of married and single friends. I think having both are necessary! Having single friends is nice, because we’re in the same boat. But, we must be careful to keep each other in check and not just feed into one another’s fears. And married friends are great too because I think it’s important to see the other side of the coin, and to remind them that not everyone lives in their little married and babies bubble!
Brenda: Our perception of you is that you are living a fulfilled, purposeful life as a single woman. You’re not waiting around for marriage, but fulfilling God’s call on your life now. What would you say is your secret to doing this?
Morgan: The secret to living a purposeful and fulfilling life? Realizing that God created me distinctly and for a unique purpose. My purpose is not dependent on my relationship status, rather, it is essential to God’s plan that I live each day fully. Do I believe that God means for me to be married someday? Yes, of course. But this doesn’t mean that I can sit around and wait to “start my life” when Mr. Right saunters in. I don’t want to look back on this time in my life and have any regrets. And I know that if I don’t embrace the now, right now, I will eventually wish I had.
Brenda: What words of advice do you have for other single women who want to live with purpose now and not wait for marriage to start their lives?
Morgan: Stay strong and stay faithful. Seek the Lord first and foremost. If you center yourself on Him and Him alone, you’ll start to see the world a bit differently. There is so much good in “the now” that you could be passing by because you’re so focused on the future! Don’t yearn so ardently for someday that you miss today.
Brenda: And some fun stuff!
Brenda: Which do you like best – Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Pinterest (or all of it!)?
Morgan: I love it all!! These days, Instagram and Twitter have my heart 🙂
Brenda: What’s your favorite drink?
Morgan: Alcoholic: Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro
Non-Alcoholic: Rosemary Mocha Latte or Arnold Palmer
Brenda: Where would you want to live the rest of your life – beach or mountains?
Morgan: The mountains!! I LOVE to hike and camp!
Brenda: Do you read more fiction or nonfiction?
Morgan: Historical fiction, all the way!
Brenda: Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Morgan: An extrovert learning to embrace my closet introvert 🙂
Brenda: What’s something quirky about you?
Morgan: If you get me started talking about classical conditioning, I can teach you to train your boyfriend, husband, or pet 🙂 (I studied Psychology and trained rats!)
Brenda: What else do we need to know about you? Where can we connect with you online?
Morgan: Blog: follow-and-believe.blogspot.com
Twitter: @thatprolifegirl
Instagram: mogo_mac
Not Alone Series: follow-and-believe.blogspot.com/p/not-alone
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