Overnight Camp – The Hardest Parenting Decision I’ve Ever Made

Last week I made the hardest parenting decision I’ve ever made. I fretted about it for a whole year, prayed about it, asked advice about it, researched it, changed my mind about it a few times, and then fretted about it some more. In the end, I decided to let my girl go to overnight camp this summer.

I savored those last days of pregnancy before my oldest girl was born. I thought to myself that her birth would be a symbol of the rest of her life. She’d move increasingly away from me the older she grew. And that’s what happened. At two-years-old she ran away from me more than towards me. Then she became a preschooler, and I dropped her off at her first birthday party by herself. Now here she is going to overnight camp.

If you ask moms to tell you their biggest fears as far as their children are concerned, you’ll probably hear different answers. However, I imagine that a common fear would be the fear of their children being abused in some way. This is my biggest fear. The thought of my girls being sexually abused sends me into an alter ego where I don’t even recognize myself. There is a rage within me that makes my knees fall pleading with God to spare them from this trauma.

However, I know I can’t keep my girls in perpetual bubbles. As scary as the world is, it is also big and beautiful. Recently I listened to an episode on the podcast “The Next Right Thing” (episode two). The creator of the podcast talked about how there are many reasons to make decisions to do things or not to do things. However, fear should never be one of the reasons.

One of my goals for my girls is for them to live with wisdom but without fear. Caution, discernment, and intuition are different from fear. In my experience, fear doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Many decisions I’ve made scared me, but they were none less right decisions.

Instead, I want my girls to go where God sends them, fulfilling the calling He gives them, and honoring who He created them to be. This was my reason for letting my oldest girl go to overnight camp.

My oldest girl is the most interesting person I know. She’s brave and bold and friendly and full of deep love for people. She’s fiercely independent, a leader, and always looking for ways to display her uniqueness. When I told her she wouldn’t know anyone at overnight camp, she looked at me square in the eyes and said, “Well, I’ll meet a lot of new friends.” I’ve never met anyone like her, and I love her just the way she is.

When this opportunity came up I thought it would be perfect for her. She could explore her independence in a positive, controlled environment, for a short period of time. It’s two nights, not two or three weeks like many summer camps. Nevertheless, fear suffocated me. All the thoughts went through my mind and that rage in my bones popped up as I imagined what could happen.

I changed my mind a few times, but in the end I decided to let her go. I cannot tell you how excited she is. Everyday she says she can’t wait till summer so that she can go to overnight camp.

Did I make the right choice? I don’t know. There are many people, even friends, and family, who will say that I am crazy to send my girl off to camp by herself. And maybe I am. But I didn’t want fear to make my decision for me. I didn’t want fear to be my reason because that same fear will be there for anything she wants to do as she grows up. If I think long enough I can become terrified of every milestone she’ll face in life.

At one point my girl looked at me and said, “Are you scared to let me go, Mama?” I didn’t want her to see fear be my reason. I wanted her to see that we make wise choices filled with prayer, research, and discernment, but that are also sometimes scary. Life is scary. But God is with us. He shelters us with His wings and protects us with His faithfulness (Psalm 91:4). I’m faithful I’m doing right by my girl. God is with her. She’s fearfully and wonderfully made, and He’s building her up for a glorious future of service to Him.

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