My Thing Doesn’t Have to Be Your Thing

Instagram has replaced Facebook in my life. This is a confession I’m not proud of, but I confess nonetheless. I’m loving Instagram. The pictures of perfectly organized pantries, stacks of books people are reading, and of course, an inside look of celebrities’ lives, create an endless trap of mindless entertainment. Anyone with me?

I like joining in on the fun of posting pictures because I like to see other people’s “fun.” So more than I probably ought to I post the highlights of my life, – that book I finished (finally), the three miles I ran after a hiatus, and the one meal I cooked that looked worthy of a picture.  But let me go back and emphasize the word highlights because that’s exactly what they are. Get behind the camera (or my iPhone) with me and you’ll see that everything looks better captured with a border around it.

Every time I post a picture I do get a knot in my stomach. Maybe that’s my conscious telling me, “Get off of social media!” like my counselor told me to get off of Facebook. Actually, I’m sure that’s it. But that knot’s also revealing the fear that someone will think more of me or my life than is true. And if you know me well you know that I hate nothing more than inauthenticity in a friendship. A hint of pretension drives me crazy. Despite the knot, I usually post the picture anyway which is why I am writing this post as a disclaimer:

My thing doesn’t have to be your thing. And your thing doesn’t have to be mine.

We all have our own special things. Every single one of us. And if you don’t believe it, then just stop right now and tell the enemy in your mind to “Stop!” Stop whispering to you lies about yourself because yes, you, have an own special thing.

Some of us organize impeccable closets. Some of us make art with our food. Some of us can follow the latest diet trend without any hiccups. Some of us dress our kids in the most exquisite matching clothes. Some of us run really, really far. Some of us serve any person that comes into our presence with amazing ease. And some of us pray like nobody’s business. We all have something. But my thing doesn’t have to be your thing and your thing doesn’t have to be mine.

More times than I want to admit I get on Instagram and start a checklist of everything I must start doing. But what I want to tell you and myself is if you’re doing that, and especially if you’re doing that with my posts, then let’s stop. Instead, let’s just take it all with a grain of salt because that grain might be the only good one in the whole shaker. I know for my shaker that’s many times the case.

But I can celebrate your thing.

What I want to get better at thinking is, “That’s not my thing, and I’m not going to make it my thing, but boy, I’m really cheering hard for her as she gets after her thing!” And I want to be able to say it without judgment. Because usually, my narrative goes like this, “Well, that’s not my thing because it must be nice that she has the time to do that. If you have time to do that, then you have more time than sense!” Or, “Well, that’s not my thing because I don’t have any help. It must be nice to have your grandma, mom, aunt, great-aunt, cousin, and second-cousin all living on your street!” Or, “That’s not my thing because that’s just plain dumb!” See the difference?

One truth I’m learning about identity is that I don’t have to make someone else’s thing look bad for mine to be good. Mine’s good as it is. Because it’s not about who has a better thing or more purposeful thing or more popular thing to even more things. What it’s about is using what we’ve been given.

Our boundary lines are set in the right places.

It reminds me of the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30. The hardest lesson I’ve been learning over the past, I’d say ten years, is that God gives each of us different kinds and amounts of “talents,” and He knows what He’s doing. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be with what I have. “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance” (Psalm 16:6). I don’t always understand why I didn’t get that opportunity or that husband or those children. But I’m learning to rest in the truth that God has set up my life in the best possible way for me to know Him and bring others to Him.

If you’re ever looking at my pictures on Instagram, please know that my thing doesn’t have to be your thing. And the thing you’re seeing only tells a grain of the story. When I see yours I’ll remember the same. And let’s celebrate the “things” in each other’s lives with true love – not a love that tears down to then build up because that’s not true love. But with a love that genuinely wants to see the best for everyone we see.