We’re continuing our book study of Sacred Singleness today and discussing chapter 3. Chapter 3 is the last chapter in part one, and it continues the conversation about surrender.
Let’s get started!
Question 1: On pages 45 and 46 Leslie describes two different women. One who is embittered over her singleness and one who is radiant over her singleness. Which type of single woman are you? If you feel like you are radiant, do your thoughts and actions show that?
As a single woman I wore the radiant mask well. I was involved at church, served, had friends, and kept busy. But get into a conversation with me, and in about five minutes you would have heard otherwise. Just ask my girlfriends. I was extremely bitter about being single. All my mind focused on was meeting a guy or finding the right guy and ultimately when I would be married.
Another obvious place that my bitterness showed up was in the dating relationships that I had. I held men to such a high standard of meeting all of my needs that when the relationships did not work out I became angry. Not typical, normal, rejected-type of anger. No, anger that demanded that I never be hurt and came along with it a “how dare you hurt me” attitude. Rarely did I see my circumstances as God’s hand leading me.
“Jesus Christ is the One who ultimately satisfies the deepest needs and desires of my heart. Jesus Christ is the One I lean upon for fulfillment, strength, and security.” Sacred Singleness p. 47
Question 2: What would a single life completely filled in Christ look like to you?
It is so easy for me to answer this question now because I can see my past much clearer than I could when it was my present. I sit here with a list of “I wish I hadda’s”, and when I meet with my young single women’s group each Wednesday night my heart cries out to them praying that they do not make the same mistakes that I did.
For me a life completely fulled in Christ would look like one where His purposes came before my own. Instead of fretting I would have used my time to serve Him as wholly as possible. It is so true that once you get married your opportunities for missions and service change. It is not that you can’t do these things at all, but you are always bound to another person. As a single woman, instead of planning my future, I wish I had used my time to serve Him fully.
A life completely filled in Christ is also one that is secure in who you are in Christ. Instead of being a chameleon and changing with each blow of the wind, being filled with Christ is remaining steady with who you are made to be in Him.
“She led thousands into the kingdom of God – all because she was willing to lay down her every hope, dream, and expectation for earthly romance and allow Jesus Christ to be her all in all.” Sacred Singleness p. 49
Question 3: Read Colossians 3:3. Do you believe the truth that the part of you that wants to cling to a husband is dead and your life is hid with Christ in God?
I absolutely love this truth from Corrie ten Boom’s book Tramp for the Lord (Fort Washington, PA: Christian Literature Crusade, 2008), 160.
“‘There are some, like me, who are called to live a single life,’ Corrie told her. ‘God blesses them with absolute contentment. Others, like my friend Ellen, are called to prepare for marriage which my come later in life. They, too, are blessed, for God is using the in-between years to teach them that marriage is not the answer to unhappiness. Happiness is found only in a balanced relationship with the Lord Jesus.’
‘But it is so hard,’ the woman said, her eyes filling with tears.
‘That is so,’ Corrie replied. ‘The cross is always difficult. But you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3). Dear girl, it cannot be safer. That part of you which would cling to a husband is dead. Now you can move into a life where you can be happy with or without a husband – secure in Jesus alone.’” Sacred Singleness, p. 49
Colossians 3:3 is sometimes hard to wrap our minds around. Especially when our feelings to do match up. But in verse 2 Paul tells us how to do this. “Think about things of heaven, not the things of earth” (Colossians 3:2). We must set our minds on truth every. single. day. And I would say not only once a day, but many times a day if needed.
We have all that we need within us to live an abundant life – a life that is dead and now hidden in Christ. “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence” 2 Peter 1:3.
What are your thoughts on chapter 3? What are you struggling with? What do you feel like you have found freedom in? Share with us your thoughts!
Next Tuesday we will discuss chapters 4 and 5. Here are chapter 4 discussion questions. I will attach chapter 5 in a few days.
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