In an earlier post I mentioned that my husband introduced himself to me by saying, “Don’t bother inviting me to a wedding on a Saturday in the fall because I won’t be there!”
I know what you’re thinking. How could he have gotten away with such a rude opening line? Well, that was his tag line on Match.com. Yes, we met online, so now I am a walking success story that it did work for me. (However, I do have a lot to say about online dating – Christian online dating – but that will have to be another story for another day!)
So, when John said that nothing would stop him from watching football on Saturdays – even something as important as a wedding – he meant it. I came to realize that real fast.
We got married in June. The next September my best friend since third grade (we were then 32 year old) got married. And of course I was in the wedding. So here we go. She got married in the fall, during football season, on a Saturday, and to top it off during one of the biggest games of the season – the UGA VS Alabama game!
Thus brings John’s and my first . . . real . . . big . . . fight!
Now, back during our dating days we talked about the whole Saturday, fall rule, and I did agreed that we would reserve Saturdays for football with the one caveat that if my brother (who was unmarried at the time) or my best friend got married on a Saturday in the fall we would have to go. But really! Who would have ever thought that one of these two scenarios would actual take place? We didn’t, so we both put on our “that will never happen to us blinders” and went on our merry, happily dating way.
Now the rings were on, there was no turning back, and here we were . . . in the biggest fight! OVER FOOTBALL? WHAT?
Since that fight I have come to some conclusions about football and my marriage.
I cannot honestly say that I understand the whole football obsession thing because I don’t.
I cannot honestly say that I don’t sometimes get resentful when it’s October and football has been on the T.V. for six weeks straight because I do.
I cannot honestly say that I always agree with revolving our schedules around football because I don’t.
However, I do try to embrace it. Why? Because it is important to John, I love him, and I love him more than allowing it to become a wedge between us.
So here are some thoughts that help me:
1. I knew it going in. I know this is not always the case. I learn more about John everyday, and some things I did not know before we got married. But this I did know. I knew it was a part of him (which I talked about here). And I knew it was a part of the “deal”. For me to then become a nag over football after getting married is manipulative. And I don’t want to be manipulative. I agreed to this, and so I must accept it.
2. I am grateful that I can participate with him. We go to all of the home UGA football games in the fall, and I am so grateful that John has a hobby that we can do together. A lot of men like to hunt or play golf, both of which I couldn’t do or would really, really not want to do! So I focus on the fact that college football is a time I get to spend with him. We have made so many wonderful memories in Sanford stadium!
3. I choose to embrace all of him. Again, I have a choice. I can either bicker and whine and nag and pretty much make life miserable for everyone (which we all know, ladies, that we can do at times!), or I can make it fun – for everyone! I choose to make it fun. On the Saturdays that we are at home I try to make special snacks, do a little decorating, and use college football Saturdays as a good excuse to do the things I like to do (like cook, bake, and decorate) but don’t always have a reason to do.
4. I can’t change my husband. Only God can. I don’t want John to be better off living on a corner of the roof! (Proverbs 21:9) So when I feel resentful or angry or that things are unfair, I try to take all of that to God in prayer instead of being a “quarrelsome wife”. I know that God will reveal to John, and me, the decisions we need to make about our family and our priorities. It is not my job to demand those decisions in an argumentative way based on my understanding alone.
So what about the fight we had over football and my friend’s wedding three months after our wedding?
We compromised. Yes, we did it. It was not easy for either one of us and especially not for John, so I am very proud of him! He did not go to the football game. Instead he went to the wedding and part of the reception. Our compromise was that he could be in front of a T.V. at kickoff. So he left early from the reception, and I stayed for the whole thing.
On a side note, UGA lost bad, embarrassingly bad, that night to Alabama. So the sting of not being there in person ended up being a little less painful!
How do you survive your husband’s favorite hobbies?
Please tell me your thoughts!
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