So are you ready? One full year of no dating? “Why on earth would anyone do that?”, you’re wondering. Well, it does sound kind of extreme and maybe even legalistic or possibly impossible. But it’s one challenge I wish I had taken when I was a single woman, and that is why I’m sharing it with you.
I can’t take one iota of credit for it. I first heard about it in one of Andy Stanley’s sermons. I think he’s mentioned it since in a few sermons and maybe most recently in this series “The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating”. Regardless, you should listen to this series. It’s good stuff.
There are many great reasons for taking the One Year No Dating Challenge. A few years ago I wrote about them in this post: Take the One Year No Dating Challenge. For me, the biggest benefit would have been to separate myself from the sin of covetousness and idolatry so that I could have clarity on God’s will and in response make better decisions. But I was desperate. Desperate to get married. I did hear about the challenge towards the end of my single life, but I never took it. Fear controlled me and fear won.
Don’t let fear win.
You cannot mess up God’s plan for His story of your life, but you can take yourself on a detour. So don’t try to manipulate the outcome and think that if you do something as radical as not date for a year you’ll miss out on “the One” or whatever. It simply won’t happen. If God calls you to this challenge, take it. To not take it will be detrimental because you will not reap the benefits of what He wants to do through you during the one year’s time.
I’ve gotten a few emails about this challenge over the past few years asking a lot of questions about how it exactly looks in someone’s life. There are no rules, at all. It’s completely customizable and Spirit led. It’s really a fast for dating, and like with any fast you can tailor make it to however the Lord leads.
For the girl who has to have a boyfriend/date . . . at all times
If you are a girl who panics when you don’t have a boyfriend or always has a boyfriend or feels anxiety when you’re dateless on a Friday night, then this challenge is perfect for you. My guess is you are gravitating towards men instead of Jesus and they are an idol in your life. Of course, I’m speaking in huge generalities, but I make this statement from experience and observation There may be something men are giving you (or you want them to give you) that Jesus needs to give you instead.
For the girl who has never dated or who doesn’t date enough for it to matter
Just because you don’t date much doesn’t mean there aren’t deep parts within you that God wants you to relinquish and heal. There were many years that I did not date at all but I was still in a bondage of sorts over dating and men and marriage. This challenge may not change the way your social life looks, but by making a promise with God to not only not date for a year but to pour your whole life into Him – talking to Him, learning about Him, and serving Him – you will come out of it better prepared for whatever future He has for you.
It’s more than just not dating.
Now this challenge can be a complete waste of your time. The point is for you to allow God to completely encompass every fiber of your being so that you are totally surrendered to Him and changed by Him. And so that when it’s over you will be better prepared for whatever He has for your life. But . . . if you do not use the year in prayer and reading and serving, truly seeking Him, then it will be a waste of your time.
Get a journal.
You may not be a writer or journaler, but it would be wonderful for you to write down your thoughts, fears, and what God speaks to you throughout your year. You will be amazed to look back at it and see where He’s brought you.
What if we just hang out as friends?
If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know my whole philosophy on girl/guy friendships (smiley face here), but regardless of that, my thoughts are if you’re going to take this challenge, then do it with all of your heart and soul. Even though this is against present day beliefs, men and women are different and therefore have a different dynamic in all types of relationships – friendships included. So my fear is that if you “just hang out as friends” the guy will still be giving you something – attention, affection, identity. This may defeat the purpose of the challenge.
Okay, so there you have it! Please feel free to email me if you have any other questions brenda{at}triplebraidedlife{dot}com. I would love to know if you’re taking the challenge, so leave a comment below saying, “I’m in!”.
Or tweet -> I’m taking the #OneYearNoDatingChallenge!
I will have follow-up posts throughout the year, too! Praying for you, sweet young friends!! To God be the glory for doing great things in your lives!
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