My eyes are greatly undisciplined. Not in a physical context where I struggle with inappropriate movies or trashy novels or pornography or lust, but instead the eyes of my mind. The eyes of my mind help me to escape reality.
I find myself going through my day with my mind somewhere else. Sometimes I’m sitting in my bedroom as a child playing with Barbies. Other times it’s ten years from now and I’m at the kitchen table talking to my daughter about boys. Rarely is my mind focused on the present.
I’ve been reflecting on why I have a tendency to shut-out the now for either what’s been or what’s to come, and I realize that this is nothing new for me. For years I have lived in the nostaligia of the past or the hope of the future.
When I was single I wished I could either start my twenties over so I could have a do-over or get married and have a baby. Now I am married with a baby and I crave the tranquility of my one-bedroom apartment and all the hope it held. I still secretly wish I could go back and “get it right”.
The more I think about this pattern of always wishing what I don’t have and almost obsessing over the past and becoming saddened by it or obsessing on the future and becoming fearful of it, I realize that what I am trying to do is escape. Escape what’s before me now. It’s fear that’s keeping me from disciplining my eyes.
At the beginning of January I chose “seek” as my One Word for 2014. Originally “eyes” was going to be my One Word, but I felt like it needed to be a verb. So I decided on what eyes do – seek. Ever since God has brought the word “eyes” into my world through a book or podcast or the radio. God wants my eyes this year.
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” Proverbs 4:25 (bold and emphasis mine)
My eyes do not naturally look directly forward. They look behind or way off in the future or all around me at what everybody else is doing. But not directly forward. My eyes need discipline. Just like other parts of my personhood, I have to train the eyes of my mind.
I started this little mental exercise to help discipline my eyes. When I find myself going into a deep daydream of my past or future, or if I feel the tinge of jealousy from looking around at everyone else, I imagine Jesus in the flesh right before me, and I physically imagine myself looking at Him instead. “Keep your eyes on Jesus”, I tell myself.
This may sound a little hokey or weird, but it has helped me to discpline myself to not escape but face this life I’m living head-on and focus on the job Jesus has for me now and where He’s leading me in the future.
Today imagine your eyes are on Jesus. Every time you find the eyes of your mind focusing too long somewhere else, bring them back to what’s directly before you, and discipline your eyes to stay on Jesus.
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