Do you ever feel like you’re trying to just survive being single?
Maybe you’re going through the motions of your life just waiting for “one day” to happen but you’re not even really sure if “one day” will ever get here. Or you continue to date one wrong guy after another. Or maybe instead of taking the risk of going somewhere alone you stay home but still feel lonely. Then there are all the decisions you have to make by yourself. Should I buy a house or should I not buy a house? Should I change jobs or keep the job I have? The list goes on.
I’m going to make a bold statement by saying that there are two things you must have to survive singleness. No, I don’t mean survive literally. In fact, singleness is not something that should be lived in survival mode at all. But the enemy knows where we’re weak, and he knows that for many women being single is not a season of life we’d choose for long. The enemy plays on our desire for marriage by getting us to a place emotionally and spiritually where we feel like we’re dying. Let me tell you friends, this is not the abundant life Jesus promised.
When I use the phrase “survive singleness” I mean survive it by having lived an abundant life in Jesus. A life full of joy, purpose, and righteousness. A life where Jesus can look at you and say, “Well done, my precious daughter. You have shown Me you are Mine.”
First, you must have Christian community to survive singleness. We can go all the way back to the Garden of Eden to see that God never meant for us live in isolation. He said that is was not good for man to be alone. On the other hand, the enemy knows just what it takes to get you to believe his lies and create feelings of desperation. He knows that in order to get to you he must get you alone.
In our day where so much of our lives and relationships operate online, this is increasingly difficult. It is so much easier to hide behind a computer, alone in your home, and think you have community. No, community is face-to-face. Community is having a few people in your life who know you well enough to love you well.
I know that community is so hard for single women. I was there. I remember. I don’t deny that at all. However, it is a nonnegotiable. Do whatever it takes and however hard it is to find in-real-life community. If you need a place to start, start with earnest prayer and even fasting.
Secondly, you must be saturated with God’s truth every. single. day. And I mean every. single. day. I cannot stress this enough. You see, first the enemy gets you alone. Then he starts feeding you a bunch of bold-faced lies about yourself, this world, and God. You believe his lies because you’re not getting a daily diet of God’s truth and there’s no one around you to tell you differently.
In many ways our culture right now is telling us the exact opposite of what the Bible tells us about how to do womanhood and relationships and marriage and all of it. Then, if you read anything online you’ll see that even within Christian circles there’s an unfortunate war going on about these same issues. I don’t know all the answers, but I do know this. When I read the Bible for myself and study it for myself, the answers to these questions become clear to me. You can’t have an opinion about what God says about these things unless you actually read what He says about these things for yourself.
Don’t let reading the Bible intimidate you. I mean, I know it can be intimidating, but it truly doesn’t have to be. This post will give you some ideas to get started with reading and studying the Bible.
Okay, so today I want you to do two things. First, I want you to write down one way that you are going to step out in faith and participate in something that may lead to a friendship of some sort. Next, I want you to decide how you’re going to start reading the Bible and then start tomorrow.
Tell me, which do you struggle with more? Not having community or not being in God’s Word daily?
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