Author: Brenda Rodgers

John went back to work today. I did, too, but the remarkable part is that John did.

I feel like we have entered The Promised Land that God had for us all along, even though I couldn’t see it. I remember being the hospital in early August and specifically trying to imagine the month of October. I couldn’t imagine it. It was as if time was hanging over Duke Hospital. Each day was like the previous one – daunting, oppressive. I could not imagine October because I did not know what October would mean for me. I did not know if I would be alone.

Time has the uncanny ability to move really fast even when it seems to be at a halt. So today here we are – in October.

When I woke up this morning all I could think of was The Promised Land. The desert must of felt to the Israelites like the hospital felt to me – like a place that sucked the time without it moving. The Israelites’ time in the desert came at a cost. They lost loved ones just like I lost my mom. But then there is God’s promise. Waiting out there in time, not moving at all – just waiting – for His perfect timing. He is never changing.

So as I sit here in October, it is a gift, a blessing, that I did not deserve, but that God had for me the entire time. The ending does not make the loss, the mourning, the sadness any less painful, but it does help me to look to His promises and to eternity because that’s really all I have to look towards. The next time I face my “hospital” experience in another season of life with different circumstances the outcome may be different, but my promise will be the same.

Today we celebrate John’s two month birthday since his transplant, and we honor John’s heart donor and his family for their priceless gift.

We had a very busy day today with doctor appointments at Duke. We got there at 7:30 a.m. and just got home! John had a chest X-ray, EKG, Echocardiogram, heart biopsy, right heart catheterization, and they took pictures of his arteries. This was the big appointment, and if all goes well he won’t have another heart cath. until his one year birthday. Now John will start having a heart biopsy once a month. If he continues to have zero rejection, he will start going every other month, then every six months, etc.

We haven’t gotten the results from the biopsy back yet, but everything else looks great! The only thing we’re going to have to get taken care of is the fluid that has backed up and formed swelling where he was connected to ECHMO. John will have to see a general surgeon to drain it. It shouldn’t be a big deal, though.

Today we went around and visited all of John’s nurses (and doctors) on the 3rd and 7th floor CCUs. John doesn’t remember most of them, but you should of seen their faces when they saw John! They couldn’t believe it! The nurse that was taking care of John when he went into V-Tach was there. This is the nurse that escorted him to the ECHMO surgery and had to give him CPR. You can imagine how much he appreciated seeing John now. And on the third floor two of the nurses who helped John when he was the most critical before transplant were there today too. It was so good for John to meet them and for them to see John. That’s their reward for helping to save his life and for fighting so hard for him (and me)!

Over the past two weeks John has really taken off! He is doing things that I’ve never known him to be able to do. He says that it has been so long (6 years) since he has felt like normal and now he finally feels like he has his life back. He is full of energy!

Here are a few of his accomplishments:
~ He mowed the lawn with a push mower! I’ve never known John to do this!
~ He carried the ladder upstairs to change the batteries in the smoke detector.
~ He traveled to GA last weekend for the first time.
~ He has been released to drive and is loving driving his truck without me so that he can play the music really loud!
~ I no longer drop him off at the front of the hospital. He now walks with me from the parking garage.
~ And he is going back to work on the 18th, which he is really looking forward to!

No, none of the above were a part of a “Honey-Do” list even though I do appreciate them so much! He did all of these things on his own!

Last week John had another heart biopsy, his regular blood draw, and he had a CT scan of his chest.

The CT scan was to check out his lungs and the “white spots” that were showing up in the X-rays in the hospital and in his office visits since then. His surgeon felt like the white spots were probably just left over fluid from his surgery and the hit they took when he had the infection and was on ECMO. However, there is always the possibility of it being something more, and the infectious disease doctors and radiologists have been more insistent in finding out exactly what’s going on in there.

So, here are the results . . .

On the biopsy – 0 REJECTION AGAIN!!!
It seems like we’re surprised by this every week and maybe overly joyous, but all we heard leading up to the transplant was how the risks involved in the transplant surgery were really low, however, the true risk is in rejection of the new heart. There will always be a risk of rejection, but we are ecstatic that there is zero rejection now!

On his bloodwork – Kidneys are better than normal!!!
John’s creatinine level (which tells the health of your kidneys) was 0.9! Our transplant coordinator told us that John’s kidneys are healthier than his now! A normal range is 0.8-1.2 (a lower number being better).

And on his CT Scan – Lungs are improving!!!
His CT scan showed that his lungs are clearing up, and they have determined that they are simply showing postoperative symptoms. There is no other infection or illness!!!

I have prayed and prayed for John to recover well, quickly, and to not have any further health issues. God is answering those prayers!!!

We are so, so blessed!!!

The outpouring of love for John and I throughout the past three months has been incomparable to anything we have experienced. Everyone from our family and lifelong friends, to friends we more recently met, to friends of friends that we have never met, to people who live across the country, to complete strangers who we will never meet, we have been showered with endless words of encouragement, prayers, messages, and gifts.

However, there were three families in particular who’s outpouring of love made a significant impression on me. They served us while in the midst of their own hurdles, their own pain, and they did so with pure intentions.

In one family, the husband and father faces his own battle with chronic illness. They knew exactly what life was like for me in the hospital. His wife could relate to everything I was thinking and feeling. She knew the exact words to say. She knew the specific ways I needed comfort.

The other two families are young women, about my age with young children, who in the past year lost their husbands to illnesses. One was completely unexpected. Knowing that my outcome could be the same, they jumped to my need and embraced me with love.

It is hard for people to come outside of themselves and empathize with others in their hour of need. I know it is hard for me. This is something that typically does not come easily for me. However, I think that for someone who is struggling in similar ways, and possibly just as much, it can be harder. On one hand, they know specifically how to serve a person in need because they remember what they needed. But on the other hand, it is hard to put someone else’s pain before your own and recognize it as priority, and it is even harder to genuinely hope for the best for that person when your circumstances turned out differently.

These three families served us despite their pain, and through their service to us they were an example of Jesus’s second greatest commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:36-40. Possibly without even knowing it, through loving us as themselves, they taught me how to come outside of my own self and love others. There example has reminded me that there is pain all around us. John and I are not the only ones going through a season of uncertainty and pain. Their example has helped me to remember that we are no different than anyone else. So when I start to ask God, “Why me?”, I remember to say instead, “Why not me?” God gave us community to serve each other in these times by putting our own wants, needs, and rights aside and reaching out to those around us.

I am very thankful for these three families who followed His commandment, and who was Jesus to me despite their pain.

After the past two Saturdays watching the Bulldogs, we now know the true strength of John’s new heart! It’s gotten a workout, but still beating strong! I told him today that I really don’t know how his old heart got him through all those games!

John enjoyed watching the game with his friend, Rowland, who came up for the weekend as I traveled to Georgia to be with my family. My mom passed away last week after a very short battle with cancer. She was admitted into the hospital the same day that John got his staph infection back in August. I was in the trenches with John during that time, so I was not able to be with her. However, my dad took good care of her, and I was very, very blessed to see her two weekends ago for the last time. My body still feels in shock from all of the intense emotions I have experienced over the past two months – staring death in the face for so long with both John and my mom, pure elation from John’s transplant and recovery, and now mourning and missing my mom. Needless to say, I am exhausted. I thought I was exhausted before, but now I’m really exhausted. I miss my mom so much, but she is a Christian and is in Heaven, so I get to spend eternity with her in what will seem like no time. Her memorial service is in a week and a half, and John is going to make the trip back with me for it. This is such a huge gift. I don’t know what I would do without him right now and without him there.

On another note, today we had another doctor’s appointment and heart biopsy. We haven’t heard the results yet, but are prayerfully anticipating zero rejection again. John keeps getting stronger and becomes more independent every day. I will update with his biopsy results later in the week when we get them back.

John’s greatest joy this past week was the surprise and very much appreciated letter and signed picture from Coach Mark Richt himself! He got word of John’s transplant, and wanted to send his well wishes. This meant so much to John and me! I will definitely be framing it soon for John, and hanging in his GA room! Thank you Coach Richt! Go Dawgs!!!