Brenda Rodgers

Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • What I’m Doing for Lent this Year

    As a Baptist-ish girl, I didn’t grow up observing Lent. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know Lent was a thing. I didn’t know Advent was a thing either except for the bubblegum Advent calendar we hung up every Christmas. Each day we took off a new piece of gum and chewed it to count down to Christmas. So “Advent” is a loose description of our count-down-to-Christmas bubble gum decoration.

    Lent Resources

    However, in my 20’s I went to a Methodist church for a while. This is where I started learning about the liturgical calendar and when Advent and Lent became a thing in my life. There’s more to the liturgical calendar than Advent and Lent, and there’s a lot about it I still don’t know, but I’m learning. (By the way, this podcast series by The Simple Show has been wonderful lately.)

    Now my family and I go to a large non-denominational church, and the liturgical calendar is not recognized hardly at all. However, in our home, I observe Advent and Lent and teach these church traditions to my girls.

    You might be most familiar with Lent as a time you give something up that you love like chocolate or Coke or T.V. Some years I’ve given something up, but it’s not something I do every year. However, this year I felt led to give up, or fast, two things in my life – two things I truly love right now – Instagram and sugar. Put me on the sofa with a brownie in one hand and my phone scrolling Instagram in the other and I might as well be at the beach sunbathing all by myself. It’s an escape, and I love it!

    Well, obviously I love it a little too much. You know, when you feel led to give something up for Lent and the thought makes you almost cry and dread it with everything in you, you’re probably on to something. So tomorrow here goes nothing – no more Instagram or sugar. Geez. I tell you this so that I’ll have to do it.

    All joking aside, my hope is that during these 40 days these distractions (or should I be so bold to say idols) dissipate so that I’m able to pray with assured hope and hear God’s voice clearly. In my life right now there are a lot of needs. I have personal needs, my extended family has needs, my friends have needs, and our country and the world have needs. More than ever I’ve felt the call to pray fervently.

    I’ve used different Lenten devotionals in the past, but this year I bought this one from Erin Moon. What I love about it from first glance is that it has an audio version (I’m in the car A LOT running these little girls around town, so this way I can listen and they can hear too) and it has a playlist which is so good!

    If you’re familiar with YouVersion or Bible.com, there are several Lenten reading plans there too.

    And here are two that I have used in the past: Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross by Nancy Guthrie and Lent and Easter Wisdom from St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi.

    So here’s to the start of Lent! I’d love to hear your thoughts on Lent, any resources you use, and what you’re fasting.

    *This post contains affiliate links which means if you make a purchase, I get a commission at no extra cost to you. Please see my privacy policy here.

  • Overnight Camp – The Hardest Parenting Decision I’ve Ever Made

    Overnight Camp – The Hardest Parenting Decision I’ve Ever Made

    Last week I made the hardest parenting decision I’ve ever made. I fretted about it for a whole year, prayed about it, asked advice about it, researched it, changed my mind about it a few times, and then fretted about it some more. In the end, I decided to let my girl go to overnight camp this summer.

    I savored those last days of pregnancy before my oldest girl was born. I thought to myself that her birth would be a symbol of the rest of her life. She’d move increasingly away from me the older she grew. And that’s what happened. At two-years-old she ran away from me more than towards me. Then she became a preschooler, and I dropped her off at her first birthday party by herself. Now here she is going to overnight camp.

    If you ask moms to tell you their biggest fears as far as their children are concerned, you’ll probably hear different answers. However, I imagine that a common fear would be the fear of their children being abused in some way. This is my biggest fear. The thought of my girls being sexually abused sends me into an alter ego where I don’t even recognize myself. There is a rage within me that makes my knees fall pleading with God to spare them from this trauma.

    However, I know I can’t keep my girls in perpetual bubbles. As scary as the world is, it is also big and beautiful. Recently I listened to an episode on the podcast “The Next Right Thing” (episode two). The creator of the podcast talked about how there are many reasons to make decisions to do things or not to do things. However, fear should never be one of the reasons.

    One of my goals for my girls is for them to live with wisdom but without fear. Caution, discernment, and intuition are different from fear. In my experience, fear doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Many decisions I’ve made scared me, but they were none less right decisions.

    Instead, I want my girls to go where God sends them, fulfilling the calling He gives them, and honoring who He created them to be. This was my reason for letting my oldest girl go to overnight camp.

    My oldest girl is the most interesting person I know. She’s brave and bold and friendly and full of deep love for people. She’s fiercely independent, a leader, and always looking for ways to display her uniqueness. When I told her she wouldn’t know anyone at overnight camp, she looked at me square in the eyes and said, “Well, I’ll meet a lot of new friends.” I’ve never met anyone like her, and I love her just the way she is.

    When this opportunity came up I thought it would be perfect for her. She could explore her independence in a positive, controlled environment, for a short period of time. It’s two nights, not two or three weeks like many summer camps. Nevertheless, fear suffocated me. All the thoughts went through my mind and that rage in my bones popped up as I imagined what could happen.

    I changed my mind a few times, but in the end I decided to let her go. I cannot tell you how excited she is. Everyday she says she can’t wait till summer so that she can go to overnight camp.

    Did I make the right choice? I don’t know. There are many people, even friends, and family, who will say that I am crazy to send my girl off to camp by herself. And maybe I am. But I didn’t want fear to make my decision for me. I didn’t want fear to be my reason because that same fear will be there for anything she wants to do as she grows up. If I think long enough I can become terrified of every milestone she’ll face in life.

    At one point my girl looked at me and said, “Are you scared to let me go, Mama?” I didn’t want her to see fear be my reason. I wanted her to see that we make wise choices filled with prayer, research, and discernment, but that are also sometimes scary. Life is scary. But God is with us. He shelters us with His wings and protects us with His faithfulness (Psalm 91:4). I’m faithful I’m doing right by my girl. God is with her. She’s fearfully and wonderfully made, and He’s building her up for a glorious future of service to Him.

    (This is a book that I like and that I’ve used with my girls. This is my affiliate link, so I receive a small profit at no extra cost to you when you make a purchase. Please read my privacy policy here.)

     

  • Why It’s Good When My Girls Have Different Beliefs Than Their Friends

    Why It’s Good When My Girls Have Different Beliefs Than Their Friends

    On the way home from my best friend’s house my daughter said to me, “Mom, [my friend’s girls] told me that they believe the wine turns into Jesus’ blood and the bread turns into Jesus’ body during communion! Do we believe that?”

    Right there I was like, “Huh?” How unusual for little girls, all seven-years-old and under, to be talking about the Catholic Eucharist. On the two-hour drive home I expected some chill time, not a theology lesson.when girls have different beliefs than their friends

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  • This New Year, Let’s Break-Up with Food Plans, Dieting, and Bondage

    This New Year, Let’s Break-Up with Food Plans, Dieting, and Bondage

    It’s three days until a new year starts. If you’re like most other people, one of your goals for the new year has something to do with food, exercise, and health – all good goals. I’m right there with you. Except for this year, I’m breaking up with all of it. This post explains why.

    First I have to tell you, I have no answers. I want to say that upfront. What I do have is a lifetime of evidence and unintentional research because of my personal experience.

     The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners” Isaiah 61:1

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  • Should We Forbid Our Children from Giving Gifts to Make Other People Comfortable?

    Should We Forbid Our Children from Giving Gifts to Make Other People Comfortable?

    When I was growing up my mom gave everyone she came into contact with during the Christmas season a gift. Teachers, coaches, nurses, bus drivers, office staff, doctors, sanitation workers. You name them, and she gave them a gift. That gift usually consisted of a 50 cents box of chocolate-covered-cherries wrapped and tied with a bow. Or, since she cross-stitched, sewed, and crafted, something homemade.

    I got my obsession with Christmas gift-giving from my mom. I don’t give as many as she did, but I have a rock in my gut if I go anywhere during December without a gift. Just last week I went to see my counselor for the last time before January. I brought her a gift. She said, “You’re not supposed to bring your counselor a gift.” I thought, “Oh, yes I am. I’m a product of my mother!” It’s fun to give gifts.

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  • Social Media, Relationships, Depression, and Why I Stopped Doing {Some} Of It

    Social Media, Relationships, Depression, and Why I Stopped Doing {Some} Of It

    For several months (and even a few years) I’ve played around with my social media accounts. I’ve deactivated them, taken them off of my phone, and tried to limit my time on them. I’m one of those highly intuitive people, and something in the back of my mind has always told me we’re going to regret it. Kinda like smoking in the 1950’s and 1960’s. One time I asked my dad if people back then knew smoking would kill them and didn’t care, or if they truly didn’t know. He said both.

    With social media, I got to a place where it was too much. I didn’t feel like I needed to know every in and out and concern of every person I’ve known for the past 30 years. I didn’t need to be invited into their homes and vacations, marriages and children’s lives. Sometimes I felt burdened knowing too much. I worried about people. Sometimes anger from something that happened years ago simmered back up in my soul. Then, of course, there’s the common jealousy which leads to resentment, discontentment, and entitlement.

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