So I guess it’s Memorial Day weekend – already!! That means the pools open here in the south. Do they open pools on Memorial Day weekend in colder places? I’d love to know. If you live in a cold place, let me know in the comments.
I can’t tell you that I’m ready for pool season. I wish I were, but I’m not. I have much to say about the whole eating, dieting, exercising saga (for me it’s a saga), and I plan to write about it soon. But for now I’ll just leave it with – I’m not ready. But then again what is “ready”? I know that even if I was the perfect height and perfect weight – whatever that means – I still wouldn’t be ready. Again, more of these ongoing battle to come . . .
However, we are planning to go to the beach in a few weeks, and I did find the cutest ever swimsuit at Target. Well, I think it’s the cutest ever, plus it was inexpensive. It’s been years since I’ve been in the market for a one-piece swimsuit. You can read more about that in this post and in this post at MoretoBe.com. Do you remember that YouTube video, The Evolution of the Swimsuit, that went a little viral last year by Jessica Rey? Well, these are the swimsuits she designs. In my opinoin, they are so classic and glamorous, and I absolutely love them! I am not buying one yet mainly because they are more expensive, but a swimsuit from her is on my wish-list.
You often hear the phrase “fight for your marriage”. There are tons of blog posts, books, conferences, and sermons to equip you to do just that. But the more I talk to single women, the more I realize that marriage is not the only season of life that needs fighting for. You must fight for your singleness, too.
I have the privilege to know several women in my personal life and online who are single. Some are just starting out in their early 20’s. Some are in their 30’s, and even others are in their 40’s. When I sit down with them over coffee and through email, I hear their anxiousness, frustration, and fear. I sense a feeling of hopelessness.
We talk a lot in Christian circles about our churches being under attack, our marriages being under attack, our children being under attack. But, single woman, I want to warn you. You are under attack, too, in a vital way.
One trend I’ve noticed in my personal life when it comes to the enemy’s attacks is that they often come when something has potential. For example, a few years ago I went to the She Speaks writing conference where I met with a few publishers and presented a book proposal. The weeks leading up to the conference I was busy writing and preparing. If you know anything about book proposals, writing them is no small job. However, during those weeks something else was going on. My home was in shambles. My husband and I were fighting and arguing – the worst I had ever experienced. It was awful.
Then, on a training call with one of the conference presenters, she told us to not be surprised if leading up to the conference we felt the enemy’s attacks. She reminded us that the enemy wants to “steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10)” our potential to spread God’s truth and be a disciple for Jesus.
You have great potential as a single woman, and the enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy the potential he sees in you.
Any time a woman is faced with a trial or temptation she has the choice to rely on God and show that His grace is sufficient for her or shirk back and take matters into her own hands. We take matters into our own hands in many ways. We go to . . .
men we know are wrong for us but are at least a warm body.
sugar or food or alcohol.
Facebook to get lost in other people’s lives.
unholy romance novels.
mindless television and movies.
pornography.
excessive shopping.
Pinterest to pine over material possessions.
self-pity and depression.
busyness under the disguise that “we’re needed”.
workaholism.
past boyfriends.
guys who are “just friends” and will never be more, but just maybe?
Right now your singleness may be a trial or a temptation for you. You may desperately want to be married. You may be full of fear for the future. You may be so discontent and lost that you don’t even know what to do with yourself. But God sees great potential in you.
He sees a woman who has the opportunity to experience Himself through her weakness. He sees a woman who has the opportunity to show others that His presence is the sustainer of all life even in the midst of trials. He sees a woman who has the opportunity to build a never-ending legacy for her future family and the people around her through her choices now, her integrity now, and her commitment to Him now.
God sees great potential in you. He wants to use you.
The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy you.
You must fight for your singleness. You must hold onto it with endurance and allow God’s grace to be made perfect in your weakness. God has amazing things He wants to do in you and through you. Don’t allow the enemy to take that away.
What is one positive step you are taking today to fight for your singleness?
Share with me in the comments!
One step you can take is join us for a summer online Bible study starting May 28th! We’re reading Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and meeting here on the blog and in a private Facebook group to discuss it. You do not have to buy a book. It will help you go deeper, but each week I will post “homework” for you to use. Read all the details here, and be sure to email me if you have any questions!
There’s this delicate tension I have always felt here, writing at Triple Braided. I’ve told bits and pieces of its journey before, but I think I’ll tell some of it again because it doesn’t seem to go away. I say tension, but it’s not a bad tension. It’s a tension to want to serve all my readers with my words.
You see, I am obviously married. But I desperately want to disciple single women because no one discipled to me properly when I was single. And I was single for longer than I wanted to be. And it was painful. And now I know there was a better way. At the time I just didn’t know that way. I want to be for others what I didn’t have myself.
However, even though I’ve written here inconsistently at times and without a focus much of the time, I have found that I also have married readers. This is where the tension lies. I don’t think single women want to read about marriage and baby topics just like married readers probably don’t want to read about dating.
So there’s my delicate tension.
I bring all this up because recently I asked you to take a short survey. Personally, I love taking surveys. I don’t know why except I think they’re fun. Maybe it’s because I get to talk about myself. Anyway . . .
The results of the survey are just wonderful! All of you actually wrote out sentences to the answers! I know that takes more time and thought than just clicking an answer, and I want to tell you “thank you” tons because they have helped me tremendously.
So here is some of what I’ve learned about you, the readers of Triple Braided.
62.96% are single.
37.04% are married.
33.33% like posts about your relationship with Jesus.
29.17% like posts about mentoring younger women because you’re married.
16.67% like posts about singleness.
16.67% also like posts about dating.
4.17% like posts about current hot topics.
Most of the readers are in their 30’s with the 20-age-range coming in second.
So where do I go from now? I’m going to continue to write for both of you – single and married – to hopefully serve both of you well. Jesus is my favorite person to write about, so that’s good most of you like that, and the great thing is He’s for ALL of us and relationship neutral!
Mentoring is also very close to my heart, and so I am going to probably start adding in some of those posts. One reader mentioned that she’d like posts about preparing for marriage. That sounds like a good idea to me. I know some single women really don’t like to talk about marriage at all. If you stop by on a “marriage day”, please just come back another day. There will be something for everyone.
And in closing, thank you for being here above all else! You do not know how much joy you and this blog brings me!
I don’t know about you, but my thoughts come like rapid-fire. I will try so hard to think about “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable”, but my thoughts bombard my mind before I can stop them. Unfortunately, this stream of consciousness often leads me down a never-ending path of lies I believe about myself, my life, my relationships, or God.
This past week I listened to Tricia Goyer’s podcast. She interviewed Holley Gerth about her new book You’re Going to Be Okay. (Single friends, this is a must listen to! Please take some time to listen to it!) In the interview Holley talks about how we train our brains to repeatedly think thoughts that we think about the most. However, we can create new neural pathways in our brains when we consistently think new thoughts.
The lies we believe are holding us back from all God wants to accomplish in us and through us. When we believe lies instead of God’s truth, we are ultimately believing the enemy, the father of lies, instead of God. The one discipline that will completely transform our selves, our relationships with others, and our relationship with God is to do the hard work of retraining our minds.
It reminds me of muscle memory. Do you know how our muscles remember what we’ve trained them to do, so they automatically move in certain ways without us being conscious of them? The same is true for our minds. We must retrain them so that when they come rapid-fire they are God’s truth.
Today I am honored to be a guest writer at RebeccaHalton.com where I am discussing a common lie that single women believe.
Rebecca is a writer for several websites, a published author, the co-founder of TeamRedeemed.org, and a “redeemed adulteress”. She bravely shares her story of being a young woman formerly involved in an adulterous relationship with a married man as a ministry to other women. It is a great privilege to share writing space with her today. Please head over to her blog to read more about a lie single women believe.
This summer we’re retraining our minds!
Please join us this summer for an online Bible study where we will retrain our minds and replace the lies we believe with God’s truth. We will be reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s book, Lies Women Believe. Although purchasing a book will help you to go deeper into the study, you do not have to buy a book to participate! Please join us anyway! Read more details here! And please let me know if you have any questions!
A few years ago I was looking for a part-time job. I came across a job opportunity for a reading teacher at the local community college. Since I am a former reading teacher, and have a master’s degree in reading education, I was qualified for the position. There was no reason to not go on the interview and accept the position. Except that God told me not to.
No, He didn’t audibly tell me not to take the position, but as I prayed for the opportunity and prayed through the interview process, there was still this uneasiness in my spirit. You see, even though I was definitely qualified for the position, it did not line up with where God was leading me. And due to the fact that my past proved I disliked teaching in an academic setting, it did not seem to be the position I should take.
But I took the job anyway only to resign a month later.
That is just one story of many I could tell you about me refusing God’s warnings. I am beginning to listen to His voice quicker, but I am also still a work in progress.
How often do you ignore God’s warnings?
In Matthew 26, Matthew tells us the story of Jesus sitting with His disciples and eating a last supper with them. After they eat, Jesus takes a walk with them to the Mount of Olives. Here Jesus gives His disciples a warning. He tells them that every one of them will fall away from Him that night.
Peter, as brash and passionate as he is, tells Jesus that the other guys may fall away, he will never fall away. Jesus then warns Peter again and tells him that he will, in fact, deny Him three times before the rooster crows.
Later Jesus gave Peter and two other disciples the honored privilege to step aside with Him and keep watch and pray. But even though Peter was warned that temptation was on the way, he arrogantly did not believe Jesus’ warning, and he fell asleep. When Jesus came back and saw Peter asleep He even questioned him. Jesus asked Peter why he couldn’t just stay awake and pray so that he wouldn’t fall into temptation.
It’s fascinating to me that Peter, having Jesus in the flesh right beside him, still did not listen to Jesus’ warning. I hope that if Jesus gave me a warning I would spend time fasting and praying to prepare for what was to come. But if I’m truthful, my past actions tell me I would be no more diligent in preparing than Peter.
What warnings is God giving you today? We do not have Jesus in the flesh beside us, but as Christians we do have the Holy Spirit. God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit. He warns us all the time of what is coming. Do you listen to Him? Do you spend your time preparing for the temptations and trials to come by praying and reading His Word and even fasting?
How are you going to begin now preparing for the warnings God is giving you?
The Summer Online Bible Study is staring soon, and I want you to join us! You don’t even need to buy a book!
It’s hard to believe that it’s Friday again. I don’t know if the week seems to go by fast because I mark the end of each one with this post, or if it seems to go by fast because it’s truly going by fast. Having a little 18 month old mini-me walking around the house, noticeably changed every single morning she wakes up, I have a sneaking suspicion it’s the latter. Time is going by fast.
On Tuesday this past week I took my toddler girl with me to vote. There was a Senate and House seat open here where we live in North Carolina, along with a Supreme Court Associate Justice seat. Typically I don’t think much about voting. It’s one of the many American things I take for granted. But this past Tuesday was different. As I walked out of the small church fellowship hall, the voting location for our area, holding my female toddler, and me of course a female too, the hundreds of girls taken captive in Nigeria flashed across my mind. I smiled at the three people handing out campaign flyers, two men and a young woman, told them to have a nice day, got in my car and started to cry. I couldn’t help it.
Here I was a woman – by the world’s standards, and even history’s standards as far back as the Old Testament,just merely a woman with no real worth or dignity – walking out of a place where I exercised my God-given right to a voice in our country’s political system.And there, on the other side of the world, young girls are enslaved primarily because they were going to school.
Pure grace.
That’s all there is to it. Pure grace reigning down on me from Heaven. Pure grace for being born in a country where the goal is for women to be treated with the integrity that God gave them. No, our country hasn’t always gotten it right. And no, in some ways it’s still not right. But at least I’m not enslaved for going to school. And not only that, I get to vote.
