Author: Brenda Rodgers

The Post Where I Quit {I Mean Surrender}

I have a problem. I want to do it all. When New Year’s Day approached, and I saw all the wonderful studies and groups and challenges other bloggers were hosting, I wanted to be a part of them too. And in this post I listed all of my ~~challenges~~ resolutions for the year in hopes of doing it all. Sure, I hid them as challenges to not sound so cliché to have resolutions, but that’s exactly what they were – resolutions.

The day after “New Year, New Challenges” posted I remembered that I have a two month old baby. My first two month old baby.

And I remembered that we live far away from family and friends, so there’s not a whole lot of help around here.

And I remembered that my carpet hasn’t been vacuumed in a month. And I barely take a shower everyday. And I’m surviving on only a handful of hours a sleep a night.

And I remembered my One Word (which I have yet to announce to you because blogging has taken a backseat this week) is Surrender.

This year, after my year of Focus in 2012, I am going to Surrender.

So today, only ten days into the new year, I quit my challenges. Or let’s say I surrender them. Because I can’t do it all.

Surrendering anything in my life is hard for me. I like to hold on tight because I think it’s my job to do it all, make it all right, fix myself and my surroundings. This is where I try to get my worth.

I am starting with surrendering my belief that I can do it all or that I have to do it all in order to be worthy.

This is a lie from the enemy and one that I want demolished as a stronghold in my mind. My worth is not dependent on how many books I read this year or whether I only eat whole foods or even if I read the entire Bible or memorize 24 verses.

My worth hangs on the Cross. The Cross that Jesus endured. That’s how worthy I am.

And I surrender any thoughts that tell me otherwise.

Do you have a One Word for 2013? Please share with us in the comments!

January 10, 2013
I Am Desperate :: A Book Review of Desperate by Sarah Mae

I have been a mom for two months and already I am Desperate.

Each day I wake up and wonder, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get this together? I’m not even a young mom. I’m an oldish mom, so what is the problem? I wanted a baby ever since I was a little girl. This is my dream come true. So why is this so hard?”

My husband puts his thumbs right beneath my eye, gently rubs, and says, “You have bags.”

As I get up for the second feeding of the night the bags grow along with the feeling of hopelessness. I love spending those moments in the dark quiet of the night with my precious baby girl, but I have to make myself enjoy them. I know that in a few hours she’ll be ready to eat with the sunrise, and I’ll have to get up and start the list in my head.

Laundry.

Clean.

Think about dinner.

Feed on-demand.

And of course I’m supposed to be working out now, too.

All of that with the three-hour increments of sleep I got the night before.

I joined Sarah Mae’s launch team for her and Sally Clarkson’s new book Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breath thinking that I would reap some small nuggets of wisdom about motherhood for later on – when I’m really a mother. Like when we hit the terrible twos and I have the oh-so-famous “strong-willed child”.

I didn’t expect the introduction to be about me – already. After all, I’ve only been a mom for two months.

“Exhausted, out of my mind, and still hormonal, every day felt like a fight. Feelings of desperation were like an ever-present shadow over the good in my life. Experiencing hope in Jesus felt like chasing gold at the end of the rainbow . . . getting to it was always out of reach. Motherhood was something I planned for, something I wanted, so why was living it out so drastically different from my expectations?” ~ Sarah Mae from Desperate p. xvi

My first thought was, “How did she know? How did Sarah Mae know that this is me?”

I will be honest in saying that I have not finished reading Desperate yet. I’m on chapter 3. But with only two months in of motherhood, this book is already teaching me to breathe.

See, I am no different from a lot of other women. My ideals are high. My expectations are even higher. I went into motherhood thinking that it would be something I could control – make into what I wanted it to be.

And then I was quickly humbled – starting with the labor and delivery – and ever since God has pricked my heart slowly and steadily as He whispers, “You can’t do this without Me”.

Each chapter of Desperate starts with Sarah Mae explaining her struggles with motherhood. Then Sally Clarkson replies with the wisdom that only a woman who’s been in the trenches can give. It’s like having Sally as your personal mentor right there with you – right where you live.

“This is the true beginning point – God. He is the one who created babies bursting with life and the mamas who love to care and watch over them. He brought forth from His imagination the most beautiful of gardens, threw galaxies of stars into orbit, and painted our world with color. In keeping with His character, He must have intended something beautiful in creating a woman with this ability to give life, nurture with love, and cultivate the soul of a precious human being entrusted into her hands.” ~ Sally Clarkson from Desperate p. 9.

Today starts Launch Week for Desperate, and you don’t want to miss the fun!

Visit the SarahMae.com and DesperateMom.com for gifts, giveaways, to join a Facebook group, or to host a small group and read Desperate with your in-real-life friends!

Be sure to join the No More Desperate Mom Movement!

And read other Desperate mom stories here!

Share with us. What is your most desperate mom moment?

January 7, 2013
Dear Jesus: My Yearly Letter

For several years now I have taken some time on New Year’s day to write a letter to Jesus. I call it my “Dear Jesus letter”.

Image courtesy of antpkr / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
As I am writing, I go back through the previous year and give God praise and glory for all He did in my life, including the difficult things – the things He had to carry me through.

Then I talk to Him about the year before me. Sure, I make some requests and ask Him for some hopes and dreams. But more than that I talk to Him about how I hope to become more like Him. I sit at His feet of grace and mercy and ask Him to change me, mold me, draw me close to Him, and use whatever it takes to get me there.

Those aren’t easy words to write. They’re scary because I can be stubborn. And there’s no telling what it might take to get me to bend. However, from my past I know that this is the only way to find true freedom – true peace. And after all, that’s what I really want to end each year with anyway.

When I’ve finished writing my letter I fold it up, put it in an envelope, and write “Dear Jesus” and the year on the outside. Then I seal it, and keep it until the following year.

I don’t open it again until January 1st one year later.

These letters have become a testament to God’s work in my life. When I begin to doubt I have them to look back on and remember that He was faithful after all.

Do you have an New Year’s traditions? Share with us in the comments.

January 2, 2013
Getting It Together {A Book Review and Launch Day!}
Happy New Year’s Eve, sweet friends!

Are you ready for new beginnings, new possibilities, and new opportunities? The word new makes me all Yippy! inside with what can be – what just might be – but it also leaves me knowing that with new comes change! And change can be hard!

One of the new things I’m expecting in 2013 is being more disciplined with my time. Now that we have a new baby, time is not as plentiful as it used to be – and neither is sleep! So I want to begin using my time more wisely so that I can be fully present with whatever I am doing whether it be resting, working at home, or spending time with my family.

In order to do that I have to get organized with my time. I have to change the way I presently organize my time (which is really not much organization at all) so that I can reap the new that I hope to see.

My friend Kayse Pratt’s new eBook Getting It Together: Your Guide to Setting Up a Home Management System that Works has helped me tremendously to do this! In Getting It Together, Kayse takes us through the process of organizing our time with the use of a home management notebook. By creating a home management notebook, you save time by having all of your life’s most important tasks in one place.

I’ve tried so many different types of home management systems, but what I like most about Kayse’s book is that she walks the reader through a step-by-step process of creating a home management system, and it contains 30 FREE PRINTABLES that are really cute!

The home management binder is divided into eight sections – Calendar, Meal Planning, Important Numbers, Finances, Cleaning, Home Management, Inspiration, and Family Records.

Some of my favorite printables for these sections are:
- Babysitter Information (Very much needed now that we’ve welcomed our first baby!)
- Blogging Calendar (Another area I need to get more organized!)
- Book Inventory (Because one of my goals for 2013 is to read two books a month!)
- Online Password Tracker (Can I tell you how many times I reset passwords in a week?)
- Daily Food Journal and Exercise Log (Time to lose the baby weight!)
Getting It Together has literally helped me “get it together” as I start this new year, and for FREE I know it will be a help to you, too!

All you have to do is go to KaysePratt.com and sign up for Kayse’s monthly newsletter. As a gift, you’ll receive Getting It Together in PDF format for free!

If you rather not sign up for the newsletter, you can also purchase the PDF version or Kindle version for just $3.99!

And grab the button to share with your friends!

So tell me, what new are you hoping to accomplish, change, or “get together” this new year? Share with us in the comments!
December 31, 2012
A Home that Reflects the True Christmas

As I drive through my neighborhood I marvel at all the festive decorations adorning the rooftops of houses and the front lawns this time of year. Some are monochromatic and some full of color. Some have blow-up Santa Claus’s and sleighs. Some just simple wreaths with red bows on each window.

Each house reflects the family who lives inside. Their style. Their taste. Whether they’re traditional or more modern. Maybe even if they have children or not.

As I think about our own house, I think about what it reflects to those who see it. I think about how I hope it reflects the true meaning of Christmas,

The other day I received a Redeemed Christmas – Good News – Doormat in the mail from Dayspring. I immediately opened it up and set in outside the front door. It reflected exactly what I want others to know about Christmas.

There is more to this season right now than sparkly lights and gifts and homemade cookies, even though all of those things are important as we prepare a birthday party for our Savior.

But the true Christmas is the Good News. The Good News that brings great joy.

“But the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people.” Luke 2:10 (NLT)

We had a guest come over recently and as she entered our house she asked, “Where did you get your doormat?”

I smiled a smile deep inside.

It is important that our homes reflect the true Christmas of Jesus’s birth. There are plenty of other ways to celebrate, but if we, as Christians, are not reflecting Truth, then how will others ever know it?

Dayspring has wonderful home decor products to help you reflect Jesus’s birth inside and outside your home. This includes the Redeemed Christmas – Good News – Doormat they sent me to review. And right now their Christmas items are on sale.

Share with us. How do you make your home reflect the true meaning of Christmas?

*I received the Good News doormat and Advent tabletop calendar free for an honest review. This post includes affiliate links.

December 19, 2012
A Day in the Life of a New Mom

This is the last day of our series, Motherhood: More than Meets the Eye. We hope each of our stories have blessed you and helped you in some way. If you want to catch up on all of the posts in this series, check them out here. Today we conclude with posts describing our “Day in the Life”, and I am sharing a day in the life of a new mom.

When we came home from the hospital my eyelids already needed toothpicks to hold them open. After about 36 hours in labor and then two nights of setting my clock for feedings every two hours, my body ached, and I couldn’t stop crying.

I never knew it would be this hard.

Four years earlier, as a newlywed, having a new husband to answer to, tend to, and think about rocked my world. At 32 years old, to say I was set in my ways is an understatement. My time was mine. My meals were mine. My activities were mine. I joked that I got more selfish by the day as a single woman.

But motherhood is something all it’s own.

A few months before Baby Girl was born I started going to a mom’s small group through my church. I like community, and already knew I was going to need one to help with being a new mom.

But when I showed up it was obvious that I didn’t fit in. I came wearing makeup and a cute sundress. With sandals.

I had heard about the perils of mothering an infant: not showering for days, big, droopy bags under your eyes, and clothes that no longer fit. But seeing it face-to-face, and knowing that was going to be my reality in a few short months, scared me.

I would be different, so I thought.

Right now it is ten o’clock at night. It has taken me all day to get this much written as today we had a “needy day”.

It started in the middle of the night last night. Baby Girl woke up around 3:00 a.m. which is normal, but then right before heading back to bed she spit up every. single. bit. of milk that she just drank. All over the upholstered chair in her room. And then of course she was hungry again. Her stomach hurt, too.

An hour and a half later we headed back to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. I laid there so thirsty but too tired to get up and get something to drink.

Then 6:30 a.m. came. It was time to eat again. I scooped Baby Girl up from her co-sleeper right beside our bed and this time took her to a chair in our bedroom. The chair in her nursery was still wet from where I had cleaned up the spit-up.

She ate, and I took her back to bed with me this time. She laid on my chest in the middle of the bed, and we slept until 10:00 a.m.

We had to get up then because it was time to eat again, and company was coming over at 11:30. I put Baby Girl in her Lamb’s Seat and set her in the bathroom so she could watch me brush my teeth. I also put my hair in a clip and slid on some yoga pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. I don’t have many clothes that fit right now. Including the sundress and sandals.

The rest of the day was filled with cluster feeding. She’s six weeks old today. And 30 minute bouts of napping. Finally, I put her in the Moby Wrap, and she slept on my chest just like this morning. That’s when I started this post.

Around 3:00 p.m. I managed to start baking some cookies for a Christmas gift I wanted to take my midwife tomorrow. Baby Girl sat in her swing and watched me.

I just finished the cookies. Again, it’s 10:00 p.m.

Baby Girl is finally down for the night, and I am once again pounding out the words to share this with you. My eyes barely open.

So even though it’s hard, am I complaining?

Not at all. That child asleep down the hall from me has brought me more joy in the short six weeks that I’ve physically seen her than I have ever experienced in my entire life.

And she’s already taught me so much too.

I understand a little more completely how much God truly loves me.

I realize that this world is not about me at all but a bigger story including the soul I’ve been entrusted.

I see what laying down your life – day in and day out – for another person really feels like.

I fall on my knees in prayer every day for help because I cannot do this on my own.

Baby Girl has drawn me closer to Jesus.

When she’s asleep a long time I miss her. When she grows a little more I cherish her. When she smiles with an open mouth I kiss her.

There are few words to describe motherhood without being cliche, so I won’t try. But the bottom line is that with the bigger hips, unbrushed teeth, spit-up, and new bathroom company, she is more than worth it.

I love her more than words can express.

Be sure to read “A Day in the Life” stories of all the bloggers in this series:

From Cube to Farm

Intentional by Grace

Christian Mommy Blogger

The Humbled Homemaker

December 18, 2012