Welcome to our series, Motherhood: More than Meets the Eye, where week until December 18th eight bloggers explore what the world of motherhood truly looks like and how even though each unique, we’re all on a mission! Please join us!
There was never a doubt in my mind that I would be a stay-at-home mom. Oh, I prepared for a career, but once my babies arrived, I knew I wanted to be with them 24/7.
But our hopes and our dreams are not always reality. And when my first baby arrived in June 2008, staying at home was not a choice. My husband was in seminary at the time, and I was supporting our family.
I’ll never forget leaving my 6-week-old newborn in her swing the first morning I left for work. My friend Lexie had come over to watch her. And saying goodbye to my sweet little babe tore at my heart.
Wow! Everyone was right! The last few weeks are HARD! I’ve been blessed with such a wonderful pregnancy that I guess I really didn’t think I’d get this uncomfortable. But, yes, it happened to me, too – clothes that just don’t fit quite right anymore, inability to tie my shoes (or even put them on for that matter), and bathroom breaks with some sleep tossed in between at night.
As I write this, I am already three days past my due date. By the time this post publishes it will be a week. Earlier in my pregnancy my gut feeling was that she would come after her due date. I only thought that because she seemed like such a chilled out and content baby. I wasn’t sick much, she didn’t worry me with lack of movement, and overall it was just an enjoyable, wonderful experience. Then, two of my friends’ first babies came early – by a few weeks – and I became convinced she was going to come early too. So now that her due date has come and gone, I don’t know what to think! But I do know that I am really excited to meet her!
Here’s a glimpse through this excitingexhausting month!
How Big Baby Is Now:
Our sweet baby girl is the size of a watermelon now, but believe it or not she still finds plenty of room to do her Olympic-style gymnastics in there. According to our latest ultrasound she is about seven pounds!
How Baby Has Changed:
She’s all done at this point! Except that she’s really comfy in there and not quite ready to meet the world yet! I must have made a good home for her over the past nine months! In her ultrasound picture her arm is in front of her face, and she’s just hanging out!
How Big Mommy is Now:
Huge! In the past two weeks I’ve gotten my first, “Wow! You look like you’re ready to go!” comments from strangers in public. That was my clue that I do look as big as I feel.
How Mommy Feels:
I feel uncomfortable. Some days are better than others, but overall I am ready to feel back to normal. One of the biggest frustrations is terrible, terrible acid reflux/heartburn. Oh, it is so bad! I hear that this means she has a lot of hair. I hope so (and I secretly hope it’s dark like mine)!
What Mommy Eats:
Same as always! Maybe a little less than I was earlier, but I still eat anything that I normally ate.
Our Doctor Visits:
We have been going to the doctor every week, and I will go again at 41 weeks. At that appointment they will do a non-stress test on the baby to make sure she’s doing well. At our last ultrasound she was doing really well, moving and growing like she should. We are blessed that she is so healthy!
The Birthing Plan:
The birthing plan is the same at this point. I will have a water birth as long as she comes before the 42 week mark and there are no complications making a different plan medically necessary. If she has not come by 42 weeks, then I will have to be induced. I do not want this at all, but the research shows that this is probably best for her. If I am induced, then I will not be able to have a water birth.
Decorating the Nursery:
The nursery is completely finished! I sit in there every morning to have my quiet time, and I love it! We have also prayed over her room to get ready for her arrival. You can see pictures of the nursery in this post.
Daddy News:
Well, Daddy knows that Baby Girl loves him lots since he made it through the Georgia/Florida football game with no emergencies! No, for real he wants her to come whenever she’s ready. He did mention that he is ready to not have to bend over to talk to her and feel her and is ready for her to just be in his arms! He is gearing up and getting a lot of rest for his all-important job of labor coach and sanity keeper for me!
Thoughts on Being a Mommy:
I think that God is ingenious with causing more discomfort at the end of pregnancy so that women are ready to say, “I want this baby out!” Only about three short weeks ago I was mourning my pregnancy almost being over. Now granted, it was an easy, lovely pregnancy, so I had no complaints. I thought about how I would miss feeling her move and kick and having her so close to me. I imagined the fact that for the rest of her life she will move further and further away from me, in a physical sense, as she gains independence and becomes an adult.
Then, the last few weeks happened.
And I got bigger and bigger, so it seemed. I could no longer reach to get dishes out of the cupboard or wash my hands without drenching my shirt. And eating. It’s just plain messy! So at this point I am ready, and I think that is God’s perfect plan so that we’re ready to work hard and push this baby out during labor!
So here we are. Patiently waiting for our baby girl to make her debut! I am sure the announcement will come soon!
If you haven’t read, I’m planning a water birth in the hospital, and this book, Unbound Birth, has been so helpful! If you are planning or considering a natural birth in the hospital I highly recommend it! You can get it here for only $4.99!!
For more years than I desired the status box I checked was “single woman”. Even though my deepest desire was to check the married one.
One night in my late twenties I found myself at a Bunko party with women from my church. They were all nice women, but they were all married, so immediately I felt like the token outsider with their eyebrows raised and minds asking, “I wonder what’s her story”, “What could she be doing wrong?”, “I’m so glad I’m not her”.
As we sat around rolling dice and matching numbers the conversation turned to married things. You know the married things I’m referring to without saying them, don’t you?
So I just sat there and listened.
And then it came. From the one who wore her married status proudly and her identity wrapped up with it. “We really shouldn’t be talking about these things with Brenda here. She shouldn’t be hearing these things.”
Suddenly their thoughts were no longer just in their minds. They were there. Out in the open. For all to hear and for all to see – me. I could no longer pretend in secret like I was one of them. And they could no longer pretend either.
My face turned bright red as the secret escaped. The label across my head read, “Yes, I am different from you when really all I want is to be you.”
Now, please know that I understand what the married woman was trying to say, and I agree with her. It is not wise to talk about certain married things around single women in order to guard their hearts and help them in their diligence of purity.
However, in that moment I was confident her words were not words out of love. Or if they were, I did not feel them. I felt isolated, alone, and even scorned.
It is so easy in each stage of our life to forget what it’s like on the other side of our grassy, green lawns. It’s easy to forget what a young woman may feel who wants so badly to be married or an older woman who has watched her dreams of marriage and family fade away in time.
But highlighting these circumstances is not a way to encourage her.
She really just wants to fit in. To be your friend. To know she’s at least a little like you.
We all have single women in our lives even if we don’t immediately think of them. It might be the woman who comes into the sanctuary every Sunday and sits alone. You see her, but you don’t think to sit beside her. Maybe it’s your sister or cousin or niece. Maybe it’s the woman at the Bunko game.
Reach out to this woman, wherever she is, and encourage her.
Let her know:
~ that you’re more similar than different
~ that you, too, have struggles and heartaches and worries
~ that she is worthy just as she is
~ that God, her Creator, has a marvelous plan for her life
Don’t remind her that she’s different from you. That’s not the way to encourage her.
Instead, show her how much you are alike.
Who is the single woman in your life (or maybe not in your life yet) who you could encourage? How could you reach out to her as someone one is different and yet at the same time so much the same? Share with us in the comments!
For years I believed that God was holding out on me by not giving me the husband and family I so desired. Finally, I surrendered to the truth that God loves me and has a perfect plan for my life. I wrote an eBook out of this experience called Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single. It is now available at FallforHim.com. The purpose is to help single women see that their life is not waiting out there in the future for them. Their life is now. But it can only be fully revealed by being surrendered to Jesus – allowing Him break the cycle of defeat in their life by believing His truths.
If you are single, this book is for you, to help you take a tarnished past and create a clean future based on truth. If you’re married, this book is a great gift for that single woman in your life who is struggling with the desperate desire to be married. Maybe your niece, cousin, or sister. Maybe your best friend.
Go ahead. Reach out your hand. Bless this special woman with your love. Give her an eBook that will help. You can purchase a copy by visiting www.FallforHim.com.
Brenda considers herself a “recovering single” after years as a single woman chasing her dreams instead of God’s dreams for her. Now she lives with her two miracles: her husband who God physically saved from Cardiomyopathy after a dramatic heart transplant and her baby girl who will be born this month from those three hearts. Brenda encourages women to live a life surrendered to Jesus in every season on her blog, Triple Braided, and she recently published her first eBook, Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single. You can also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
I am honored today to have a very gifted writer of Truth, Laurie Coombs, guest post. Laurie has an amazing testimony of God’s power that equips us to show forgiveness to others even in the most tragic of circumstances. I encourage you to read more of her story at www.LaurieCoombs.org.
My daughter, Avery, busied herself in our home office while I was getting things done around the house. She was four, at the time, and she had no idea I was wrestling with God. As I worked, my mind was flooded with thoughts, inundated with worry.
Avery came running into the kitchen where I was cleaning counter tops. “Mommy, Mommy!” she cried, with excitement. “I have something for you! Here!”
I bent down and took the little card my sweet child made for me. Not expecting the message I was about to hear, I began to try to decipher the rudimentary writing but was quickly interrupted. “It says, ‘love you’, and then here’s a cross I drew for you,” Avery said confidently, as she pointed to a cross that resembled a plus sign. She continued, “Then it says, ‘Go. God is always holding you.’”
I looked at her, tears stinging my eyes, and gave her a great big hug. “Thank you… thank you, my love!”
I can’t tell you how many times Jesus has spoken to me through my children. This was just what I needed to hear.
Jesus calls us to follow, but oftentimes, instead of simply surrendering and allowing Him to lead us, we hesitate. We mull it over. We wrestle with what we’re called to.
But we must go. “Go,” says the Lord, “I am always holding you!” What a blessing to be reminded of this simple truth.
I have learned a lot about the heart of Jesus over the last four years, but what stands out most to me is that Jesus is truly our Redeemer. And when He calls us to follow Him, He wants to bring us to a new place. A place that is rich in beauty and blessing. Now, that doesn’t mean that the path toward redemption will be void of pain, trial, or difficulty, but it does mean that He will faithfully bring us through to the other side.
Yet, God has shown me that in order to get there, we must choose––through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit––to say yes. To say yes, my Lord, I will follow You. Yes, my Lord, I will obey Your commands. For, it is when we lay down our fear, our pride, and our resistance that we are able to experience life as He intended. The life that Jesus died for us to have.
We rest in the mighty arms of the Lord Almighty. We are not our own. We are His. And He is faithful to His promises. Let us surrender ourselves to His faithfulness and rest in the fact that He will guide us through the narrow gate toward life.
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”
– Matthew 7:13-14
…
Laurie Coombs is a writer who encourages others to draw closer to the heart of Jesus. She lives in Reno, Nevada with her husband, Travis. They have two little girls and are in the process of adopting one or two more children from Ethiopia. Be sure to visit and subscribe to Laurie’s blog {LaurieCoombs.org}, and follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and on her Facebook Writer’s Page
Do you struggle with experiencing joy and contentment when life doesn’t turn out as you expect? Today I am happy to have guest writer, Martha, from GrittyGrace.com. She shares with us two stories of young women who found joy and contentment in the midst of their circumstances!
Photo Credit: Philip Dickson
These are some of the things I have observed by watching happy and miserable singles and marrieds… and from reading God’s Word.
The absolutely true things are written in Scripture. Often however, we interpret Scripture through the lens of experience instead of the other way around. Scripture is true!Experiences of people can often be misleading.
God’s Word says:
“…for I have learned
in whatever situation I am
to be content.
I know how to be brought low,
and I know how to abound.
In any and every circumstance,
I have learned the secret of
facing plenty and hunger,
abundance and need.
I can do all things
through him
who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:11b-13
Let me tell you about some people I know.
Eileen, a peer from college, graduated and started work. As time went on, she realized that men were not knocking her door down to marry her. She also realized that God had gifted her in counseling and she needed to get more training for a lifetime career in this field.
She moved to a larger city to get graduate training and at about age 38, she stopped praying for a husband. She felt it was adding to her dissatisfaction. God knew what she wanted. During that year, she met a man who was in seminary and by the age of 39, she was married. It turns out, God had been working all along on this desire of hers. But He had to move the “man of her dreams” to the same country she was in. That took awhile.
That really isn’t the happy ending. They have served together in a few churches since and have had 2 children, one by blood and one by adoption, who are now grown.
Or meet Dawn. She was committed to marrying a Christian man when the time came. In college, she had guys who were good friends, but no one seriously dating her. She went on to get a job out of college in her professional field, but never met anyone that was a mutually serious match.
As a teen, she had a number of single female teachers and friends at her church who made a point to get to know her, and they encouraged her to enjoy her single years. Through the lives of her friends she saw that they enjoyed their season of singleness. In their cases, they eventually married, but of course that doesn’t always happen.
As time went on, she realized she didn’t want to pursue her career in the US when there were so many needs overseas. She worked hard to get her college loans paid off and started looking into options for short term service in her professional field. After looking at the options in the two or three available fields where she applied, Ukraine seemed to be the one that best suited her.
Her two years in Kiev, Ukraine were wonderful, not perfect, but truly wonderful. They needed her skills. She was able to function well on the team. And she learned to speak Russian. Once again, she wasn’t meeting people who were mutually interested in marriage, but God had other plans. She gradually felt God leading her to serve in a more permanent capacity and applied for career status with the mission. Again, God provided and she stayed in Kiev.
As a young woman, she had prayed for a husband for a time, but found more dissatisfaction when that prayer wasn’t answered, so she left it with God and moved on. The year she turned 36, she felt God leading her to begin praying for a husband again. She felt more of a desire for a husband at that point than she had before.
Within a month after she started praying, a young man came to Ukraine on a mission trip. They met and the attraction was almost immediate! He was different from a lot of the other guys she had known in some ways, but over the next few months, it was obvious that they were meant to get married. Her furlough was due. She sold her things in Ukraine, moved back to the US and got married!
Now, she is married with a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn, and they have returned to Ukraine to finish a three year short term assignment.
Is the happy ending the fact that these women got married? Not really. The happy ending is that they learned to be content in their situation long before they ever met their husbands!
This is a life skill everyone needs to learn from in every stage of life. They had people to whom they ministered to joyfully. They knew how to be hospitable in many ways and in many circumstances. They had friends and many relationships. They led full and happy lives.
It wasn’t that “all of a sudden” they got married andhad a full and happy life for the first time! They had to learn to be content in their circumstances just like all of us do, single or married. Contentment is a habit, a way of thinking.
They learned to be joyful in their present circumstances whether they were single or married, whether they had children or not, whether things were going well in other areas or not.
They learned to rest in God’s sovereign plan for their lives when they were single and now that they are married as well.
Have you learned to be content, even happy in the situation where you are, even though it may not be one you would have chosen for yourself?
For some, this is learned in the context of marriage, often because they marry young. For others, it is learned before marriage. But it must be learned in life in many contexts.
What is your biggest struggle with being content in all circumstances?
Share with us in the comments!
I am a pastor’s wife, mom of 3 daughters, grandmother of 7 grandchildren and oh yes, an RN and blog writer of GrittyGrace.com. We have lived in various parts of Florida, Jamaica, near Peoria, IL, and Tyler, TX, our home for now. We were often moving and being uprooted during our early and middle years of marriage. Our firstborn was stillborn followed by our move to Jamaica for 7 years where I learned much about people and life while my husband taught at Jamaica Bible College. Our three daughters were born then too. Those were years of high stress when life was passionate, volatile and unstable. At times, I was dissatisfied with the husband I had. In the days before I wasn’t married, I craved a husband Once I had a spouse, then I wanted a child. When my desires for a child where blocked for awhile, I was angry and upset. Dissatisfaction ruled my life.
Maybe it’s not you because you have a husband and possibly children. Maybe it’s not your friends because they have a family, too. But there’s a woman we are missing who sits really close by.
This woman wants what you have so very badly – a family to love, serve, and spend her days with. But for now that is not what is there.
Have you heard? My new eBook Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single is now available on in Kindle, Nook, and PDF formats! With the holidays coming up this would be a great gift for either yourself or the single woman in your life – maybe a friend, sister, cousin, or niece. You know – the one we don’t see? It’s only $4.99. Give a gift of encouragement to this woman today!
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