Author: Brenda Rodgers

 

For a twenty-nine year old single woman community feels the same as it does when you’re fourteen. You go to school and wonder which group you’ll fit in on that day. You contemplate what’s wrong with you besides the less than clear complexion. And you wonder what it is you really are supposed to do with your life.

At least that’s how it was for me.

I didn’t fit in at the couple’s dinner party or my friend’s kid’s first birthday or even the women’s Bible study.

I read every self-help book trying to figure out what could possibly be so wrong that I wasn’t married already.

I looked for my “calling” incessantly since what I thought it would be turned out to not be so.

The bottom line? I was starved. Starved for community and starved for myself.

In the middle of my struggle to fit in as a single woman, there was one woman at my church who decided to come alongside me.

There are all types of community. Most are the types where all of the participants just “click”. You get each other. You share similar interests. You walk similar paths in life.

That was not the type of community I had with this woman, though.

She was about six years older than me, married, with two children living in a suburban-like house with a big backyard. She was living my dream.

But for some reason she invited me over for dinner.

Her husband traveled periodically, and when he did she would invite me to her house to have dinner with her and her two girls. Then after they went to bed we would watch a movie.

It was nothing earth-shattering. It was easy and simple and quick.

But for me it showed that I wasn’t different.

The woman saw me as a friend even though our worlds were light years apart. She served the deepest part of my soul – the part that needed to know that I was o.k.

She showed me community. 

We like community that is easy. We like community when we’re all the same, living the same life, and have the same outcomes.

But is that the kind of community Jesus sought after? Or did He search for a community that was hard, uncomfortable, where He didn’t fit in, maybe even where He was misunderstood? Just so He could serve others who might need Him. 

Over at Incourage this week we are discussing the question “What does community mean to you?” I will be the first to admit that I like community when it’s easy, and I don’t have to work at it.

But when I think about community I think about the woman who invited me over for dinner and a movie even if we may not have anything to talk about.

To me that is community. Serving someone else when it’s not easy.

Today’s Challenge: Find someone to serve in community even if it’s not easy. 

 Share with us. What does community mean to you?

Today I am linked up with: Incourage

 

And did you hear? 31 Days of Peace-Filled Singleness is now an eBook being released in October! Sign up for email updates so that you don’t miss any of the details including a chapter overview and a free chapter you can download!

Subscribe to email updates! Just enter your email below.

Delivered by FeedBurner

Have you been still lately? Hushed? Subdued? Soft? Free from disturbance? 

Do you ever hear God saying to you, “Be still”?

Do you tell yourself that you are too busy or worn out to listen?

In Lisa Chan‘s devotional film called “Be Still” she asks us these questions.

Lisa Chan is the wife of Francis Chan, the well-known pastor, speaker, and author of several books including Crazy Love, Forgotten God, and Erasing Hell. She is also a mother to five children and a singer who has recorded three albums. Lisa’s latest endeavor is creating a devotional film series called “True Beauty“.

I had the opportunity to view Lisa’s first film in the series, “Be Still“, where she explores the truth that we have the same accessibility to Jesus that we would have if He was physically in our presence. The only requirement? To be still before Him daily, sitting at His feet, taking in who He is.

As women, we are all haunted by the demands of this world whether it be through our own perfectionism or others’ unrealistic expectations. We find ourselves burdened, tired, and overwhelmed. “Be Still” gives us a fresh perspective of what is better (Luke 10:42).

In this 23 minute film, Lisa uses her story and the story of a woman who was crushed by the revelation that her husband was leaving her for another woman to explain that it is not that we do not  have enough time or energy to be still before Jesus. It is just that our time and energy are being sucked up by the distractions in this world that hold no eternal significance. 

“Be Still” is perfect for your women’s small group, community group, Sunday school class, or Bible study. The length of the film allows for plenty of time for viewing and then small group discussion. At the same time, it is rich with spiritual truths and scripture, and it is engaging and thought-provoking.

No matter what age group or women’s ministry you are involved in, I highly recommend Lisa’s devotional film series.

Preview a snippet of the film below, and recommend it to your women’s ministry director or the pastoral leadership at your church or simply purchase it for yourself and your personal group. You can buy a copy here. 

Want to win your own copy of “Be Still” to watch yourself and share with small group?

Enter the giveaway for one free copy of Lisa Chan’s devotional film “Be Still“!  

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Share with us. Do you hear God telling you to “Be Still”? Do you struggle with being still before Him? 

 

My body distortions were there as early as I can remember.

I loved playing Barbies back then. Any time I got some birthday money I went to the store to buy the latest cowboy Barbie or career-girl Barbie. My collection grew to about twenty or so.

My favorite Christmas was the year I got the Dream House for all of them to live in. That year I also got the camper and corvette and pool. It was my own dynasty of glitz and glamour. So began one distortion.

The other began a few years later. Sitting on the stairs as a ten year old girl I announced to my mom that I was only going to eat an apple for lunch from then on.

My body was a little too pudgy, so I thought.

Upstairs in my bedroom I passed this curse on to my Barbies. You know the ones walking around with perfect 36-18-33 bodies? I decided that they, too, needed to eat an apple for lunch. And then run around the Dream House until they could no longer run.

In the coming years controlling my pudginess became a part of my identity. I was the one blessed with a short torso and short legs.

When I tried controlling my growing hips and thighs in more radical ways than just eating an apple for lunch, I knew there was a problem.

The doctors told me that the body I saw in the mirror wasn’t real. I had body distortions.

But it was real to me. Other people were the ones with the distortions.

Many years later I began carrying my first baby. My baby girl. Even though I always wanted a baby of my own, one of the fears was those hips and thighs I had finally whipped under control.

I was terrified of losing control again. I was terrified of gaining weight.

Fortunately, though, I did, and evidence of my baby girl began showing from the inside poking out.

One day as I nested for her arrival I cleaned out some pictures of myself from not too long before. Looking at them I couldn’t believe the first words in my mind, “Wow, I was so skinny!”

Skinny? There’s a word I have never used to describe myself.

Then I walked into our bedroom and saw my bridal portrait hanging on the wall. I have purposely walked into the room before without looking at it because my arms were too big that day. Now my arms looked skinny, too.

For years my body distortions were not distortions at all. They were my reality.

Then, through pregnancy, I finally saw them for what they were – imagined pictures in my mind.

I saw myself from the eyes of Jesus.

Each of us has distortions that show us a make-believe reality. They may be distortions of our bodies or of our worth or of our identity. They may be distortions of the life we think we’re supposed to have or what will make us happy. They may be distortions of what is best for us.

These distortions keep us from truly believing our worth to Jesus. They make us see something that’s not real, and the more we see this way the further we grow away from how He truly feels about us and what He want to do through us.

Today’s Challenge: Ask God to show you the distortions in your life. Pray that you no longer see them as an untrue reality. 

What distortions in your life have you believed as reality and then later you saw them for what they were?

Every day writing my Compassion child, who lives in Burkina Faso, West Africa, is on my to-do list. And every day it gets moved to the next day. This has been going on for months . . . and months, since I came back from visiting her in last November.

Yes, it’s been that long.

 My guilt is real, and I feel it. But that doesn’t make me write. Neither does thinking about Burkina and my child every single day. Every time I turn on the water and remember that she does not have clean water or every time I visit Walmart and become disgusted by my own consumption.

No, none of this makes me write, not even my cries to Jesus to come soon because she needs Him – I need Him.

Instead I just try to comfort myself by rationalizing my procrastination. “Oh, she doesn’t remember me” or “My letter doesn’t really matter that much to her” or “I’m only One clear across the world.”

I mentioned my months of not writing to my husband, and he just looked at me. Then he said this, “Brenda, writing to her is more important than all this other stuff you’re doing”.

Conviction set in deep.

I have not been a good steward of this child God has given me. 

Last week another team from my church made a short-term mission trip to Burkina Faso. They planned to visit the Compassion site where my child attends.

So a week earlier I got out a gallon-sized Ziploc bag and filled it with gifts I thought she would like. A t-shirt – she always could use a new t-shirt. The composition book I received from Dayspring to review along with some fun colored gel pens. A small bottle of nailpolish. A letter written in English that I hoped someone could translate for her. And a picture of she and I when we met for the first time.

I wanted her to like the bag of goodies, but for me it was more of a peace-offering. I wanted to tell her that I am sorry. I felt a little better.

I drove to the church and dropped off the bag with a friend who was going on the trip. I asked her to please give it to my sweet Compassion child.

The next Wednesday night, after my friend had arrived in Burkina Faso, I opened up Facebook. The team was blessed with a wonderful internet connection on their trip, and we were the ones who benefited. Each day they posted up-to-the minute pictures and stories.

One picture surprised me. I was tagged in it with this caption:

“Brenda! We were walking through the village today and this girl came running up to me with picture in her hand. I looked at it and it was YOU with a Compassion letter you had written her!! I screamed, “That’s my friend” and I think I frightened her. We go to compassion tomorrow. So excited!!”

It was my Compassion child. My Compassion child running through the village with a picture of my husband and me.

Uncontrollably tears streamed down my face as I looked at her holding the picture. The picture of me.

Instantly “only One” mattered.

Often times we dismiss the voice of the Holy Spirit urging us to make that phone call or send that card or write that email or give that gift under the lie that we are “only One”. What possibly could only One matter? What possibly could only One make different? What possibly could only One change?

Then there is a girl, running through a village in Africa, carrying your picture.

And you realize that only One doesn’t matter, but only One under the sovereignty of God does.

You may never see a the person God’s led you to serve holding a picture of you. You may never get a thank-you whispered from their lips. You may always wonder if you truly matter.

But know that if you are being obedient to God’s small voice, then you are not the only One. He is orchestrating His purposes far more than you or I can conceive. He makes you a steward so that His hands and feet become real to those around you. 

Today’s Challenge: Be obedient to God’s small voice. Don’t listen to your own voice telling you that you are “only One”. Just do whatever He is prompting you to do anyway – even if it’s a little inconvenient or hard or scary. He will provide all that you need when you obey. He wants to use you because you matter – to someone.

What do you tend to put-off under the belief that you are “only One”? 

 

What is a True Woman? 

Is it a woman who can accomplish much in a little bit of time?

Is it a woman who is successful in business and at home?

Is it a woman who seemingly achieves perfection?

Is it a woman whose outward beauty turns heads and attracts attention?

Is it a woman who demands her rights and isn’t taken advantage of?

Every day the world answers this question for women. And every day the description changes ever so slightly based on culture’s new ingredients. Some days a true woman is one who wears the latest styles. Then a true woman is one who is frugal in her dress. The next day a true woman is one who bakes everything from scratch. Then she is known for only serving her family whole foods from the earth. Later she is a woman who doesn’t take no for an answer and stands up for herself with pride. Then she is praised for her keen observation and slow speech.

Like a pendulum that never stops swinging, women sway back and forth striving to achieve each new title given for a True Woman. The pendulum is misleading, but we stand there chasing it anyway. No matter how close we come there is always a hole that cannot seem to be filled.

Women were not created to chase the swinging pendulum of the culture.

We are not designed to bend to each day’s new definition of a True Woman. Striving. Competing. Achieving.

We are simply meant to rest. Rest in God’s sovereignty. Rest in His truth. Rest in His provision. Rest in His desires. Rest in His plan.

A True Woman is found in a place of rest.

As daughters in Christ our identity of true womanhood is already defined. This truth allows us to rest.

In only one month, September 20-22,  you have the opportunity to do just this – find a renewed place of rest – at the True Woman 2012 Conference.

At True Woman ’12 women who desire rest from all the battling messages in our culture will come together to authentically seek Jesus for:

• Refreshed understanding of our design and mission as women.
• Restored lives that reflect Christ’s beauty and heart.
• Renewed passion for passing God’s Truth on to the next generation.
• Revival: we need to urgently plead for God to pour out His Spirit on us and our land.

Well-known Christian authors and speakers such as Nancy Lee DeMoss, Mary Kassian, Joni Eareckson Tada, Priscilla Shrirer, and Janet Parshall will be speaking along with speakers for the teen track. There will also be a worship band.

Each day of the three-day conference will include main sessions and breakout sessions for you to grow deeper in your understanding about God’s design for a True Woman.

Find out more information on the True Woman ’12 website, and prayerfully consider registering here to get your tickets (group discounts are available)!

Also, join my friends Leigh Ann and Nikki at Intentional by Grace and over 100 other women as they prepare for the True Woman 2012 Conference by doing a study of biblical womanhood using the book True Woman 101 by Mary Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss (Moody Publishers). Simply ask to join their private Facebook community where they discuss weekly God’s definition of a true woman. And make sure to buy the book to follow along!

 What is your description of a True Woman?

 

This is a sponsored post.

This week I am linked up with: The Better Mom, The Beauty in His Grip, Marital Oneness Mondays