Brenda Rodgers

Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • Grace for My Unborn Baby

    I am an obsessive Click here to visit Amy Lynn Andrews.” target=”_blank”>organizer, but a very messy person. I know. It’s quite a dichotomy, but it’s true.

    There are no junk drawers in our house. Everything has its own special place. It’s just that everything doesn’t get into that special place very often.

    The other day I was thinking about how I could be so organized and yet so messy. What’s that about? Where did I learn that?

    I remembered how orderly my mom was growing up. Never did a piece of junk mail sit on the counter for longer than three minutes after it arrived in our house. Never was a shoe not put directly into the closet after being taken off. Never did a pen not get put back in the desk after being used. Never.

    My mom never taught me how to organize. She never sat me down and showed how to categorize items so that everything had its special place in the ” target=”_blank”>house.

    I learned by watching her.

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons

    Of course it was subconscious. I didn’t deliberately watch her in hopes of gaining a few organizational tips. But like through osmosis I learned from her.

    Then I brought my own messy self to the equation. So now I have a little bit of both.

    Soon after I found out I was going to have a baby I became hyper aware of all the things I need to teach her and some of the things that she just might learn by watching me. 

    Things that I’m not even aware of myself.

    Things that I don’t want her to learn.

    Maybe even things from days when Jesus wasn’t my priority.

    The Bible teaches us that generational sin is real. I think it stinks to be honest, and I think it’s unfair. (But then again I’m not God.)

    However, it wasn’t until I knew with every flutter, kick, and swish deep inside me that this child was here and growing and one day coming out that I realized the impact my past, present, and future might have on her. 

    So I began praying.

    ‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’ In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now” (Numbers 14:18-19).

    I began praying a very special prayer over my unborn baby that God would overflow her with grace. Grace she will need for dealing with the parts of me I wish I didn’t give her.

    The parts that still show up broken and that she may learn broken.

    The parts that react in fear instead of in truth.

    The parts that say “I’m first” when really others should be first.

    The parts that run away from Him instead of running toward Him.

    Even though sometimes I still operate out of the broken state I once lived in, it is important for me to remember that now I am whole. Wholly sewn back together through my life with Jesus. I am hidden with Him. 

    And my baby girl will be too.

    What was available to me is also available to her. Even though she will have my soiled genes, she will also have my Savior. 

    What prayer did you pray for your children before they were born?

     

    This week I am linked up with:

  • Have Our Marriages Become Contracts?

    Back in May the state of North Carolina, where I live, made a statement. A statement that was talked about all over the country. A statement in the form of an amendment. An amendment to define marriage.

    This amendment made me think a lot about marriage and what the Bible says about marriage. We know that the Bible defines marriage as a covenant between a man and woman.

    But are our marriages operating as covenants? Or have our marriages become contracts?

    I wrote about this over at Intentional by Grace. Will you join me there?

  • Are You a Spiritual Babysitter in Your Relationship?

    When I was about twelve years old I took a course at the local YMCA on how to be a good babysitter. I believe it was a weekly class, if I remember correctly, maybe six weeks long or so, and at the end of it each participate  received a certificate proving that he or she was now a safe, qualified babysitter.

    Of course the course covered all the basics you would expect including safety and what to do in emergencies. I loved every minute of it and was so proud to tell the parents whom I babysat for that I was now “qualified”.

    Being qualified as a babysitter of children is something to brag about, but being qualified as a babysitter of adults – in this case adult men – is not something to brag about.

    Unfortunately during my years as a single woman I was qualified in both.

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Trev Grant

    Last week one of the pastors at our church and his wife gave an excellent talk on marriage and relationships and the importance of living a “shared story”. My pastor’s wife made a comment, addressing single adults, that they do not want to be spiritual babysitters.

    Why couldn’t I have heard it described that way ten years ago?

    Basically a spiritual babysitter is someone who has to babysit someone else to make sure he or she is doing what needs to be done spiritually.

    Did you go to church? Did you pray today? How often do you read your Bible? Do you tithe? Do you serve others? Are you involved in the church?

    You get the idea.

    For years in my dating relationships I was a spiritual babysitter. Why? I don’t know. Well, I kind of know – because I liked the person and cared about him on some level.

    But now looking back I see how futile those attempts were.

    First of all, never did it produce the results I desired. It just left me spending a lot of effort doing something that only God can do.

    Secondly, in dating relationships it is wise to date men who are “equally yoked”. I used to think that being equally yoked was just a check box with “Are you a Christian?” out beside it. Later I learned that the closer you are in spiritual maturity the healthier and easier marriage will be later.

    So what do you do if you are a spiritual babysitter and you’re married?

    Many women and men find themselves in this situation. They tie the knot and then realize, “Hey, this person isn’t exactly who I thought he or she was!” Maybe this is because the person was putting the best foot forward during your dating relationship. Or maybe you just chose to look the other way until it mattered – and now it matters. Everything matters in marriage.

    If you find yourself in this situation, lead by example. 

    “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2

    You know the Proverb, “Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse” (Proverb 25:24, MSG).

    So instead of nagging, lead by example and of course, pray! A lot!

    But what if you’re a spiritual babysitter in a dating relationship?

    This, friends, is a red flag. I big red flag. As you know, men are called to be the leaders of their homes and their families. A man cannot lead if he is not already disciplined in with relationship with God.

    When you’re dating, you turn your head, think it’s not a big deal, or that he will change. My friends, he’s not going to change. Well, not overnight. Every problem, issue, or concern that you have about yourself or your boyfriend before marriage will double, maybe many times over, after marriage. That is the nature of marriage. It is the mirror that shows us a truer reality of ourselves and our spouse.

    So today, let’s lead by example and pray for our spouses. And single friends, pray that God gives you the courage to make the hard decisions and walk away if you’re not spiritually yoked.

    What is your experience with being a spiritual babysitter in a relationship or observing spiritual babysitters in other relationships?

     

    This week I’m linked up with:

    The Alabaster Jar

  • The First Taste of Freedom

    On this day we celebrate a gift that each of us who were born in the United States received at birth – without any strings attached, without any effort on our own, without our choosing. We received the gift of living in a country where freedom is the foundation in which all other policies and laws stand.

    Sometimes we try to take credit for inventing a country based on liberty and justice. We think our forefathers were the ingenious ones. When in fact, they were just modeling after the first Creator of freedom. The One who gave the first choice.

    “But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden—except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” Genesis 2:16-17

    Here freedom was set into motion.

    I often wonder why God gave Adam a choice. He was God. He could have easily not put him in the Garden with that tree. Or He could have just yanked that tree right up by its roots. But He didn’t.

    Freedom was God’s gift of love.

    He could have made Adam and Eve like puppets. Puppets that He controls and manipulates and makes love Him. But God knew that with true love there had to be freedom. Freedom to choose the one you’re loving.

    God wanted to be chosen just like He chose us. 

    We all know that with freedom comes a price tag. There was a price tag in the garden – one with a heavy debt. And there is still a price tag for freedom.

    Today we will hear about and watch – and maybe even experience through our own family members – men and women who are all over this world paying the price tag for our freedom. The price tag for me to sit here on this sofa and write about anything I want to write about and publish it to the world. 

    We will celebrate our forefathers who understood God’s love enough to know that building a country based on life and liberty was the only way to pursue happiness.

    But we should also remember the first taste of freedom, there in the garden. And the price tag that it cost to live in that freedom.  

    Then we should remember the Man who had the freedom to say no, but instead paid the debt, there on the Cross. The debt for our freedom, so that we not only could continue to experience it here, on this earth, but so we can know freedom forever. 

     

    What are you and your family doing today to celebrate the Fourth of July? 

    Wishing you and your family a blessed day to celebrate all of the freedoms He gave us!

    Happy 4th of July! 

  • How a Woman Truly Can “Have It All”

    A few nights ago my husband and I were watching the evening, national news as we do most nights, and the age-old question of whether women truly can “have it all” came up once again in a feature story.

    It is interesting to me how often this question continues to come up and how researchers continue to look for an answer.

    In this particular news story the dilemma was the extend to which women are trying to have it all by taking prescription drugs to keep their bodies energetic and able to accomplish more tasks within in a day. And then of course how damaging the effects are to their bodies.

    We will do anything to prove of self-worth, won’t we?

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Vestman

    I am no different from these women who fall into the trap of trying to prove their self-worth by attempting to do it all.

    Now as I embark on motherhood for the first time, I feel this tension even more than I ever have before.

    I remember the best advice my mom ever gave me: “You can have it all, but you can’t have it all at the same time”. Sometimes, however, having it all at the same time seems nonnegotiable.  Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a choice. The demands around me make me have to have it all even if I don’t want it all.

    Then I begin envying women who do have it all. They accomplish their daily responsibilities and still have time for the fun stuff. What about them?

    The closer I really examine lives of women around me who seem to have it all, and whom I envy, I realize that in fact, they don’t have it all.

    They had to pick and choose, and their all is different from my all. 

    If your “having it all” is:

    • volunteering at your child’s school
    • leading a small group at church
    • baking homemade goodies
    • working full-time
    • working out every day
    • spending time with God in Bible study and prayer every day
    • having coffee dates with your girlfriends
    • cooking homemade meals every night
    • keeping your home organized and clean
    • running a business
    • homeschooling
    • blogging
    • coaching your child’s soccer team
    • doing homework with your child each night
    • spending quality time with your husband

    then no, you cannot have it all.

    But women can have it all if they determine what their “all” is truly supposed to be. 

    Maybe my all isn’t volunteering at school or cooking homemade meals. Maybe I’m not supposed to lead a Bible study right now or maybe I have to limit my coffee dates with girlfriends.

    My all is going to look different from your all, and your all is going to look different from my all. And we have to be o.k. with that.

    And we have to support the differences in each other’s all.

    One way to accomplish this is to ask God to show us what He desires our individual all to be. What has He gifted us to do? What is He wanting us to accomplish? Then, we have to stay so focused on those tasks, knowing that they came from God, that we do not feel guilty or envious or exhausted because our all doesn’t look like the girl next door’s all.

    We have to determine our own all.

    What is your “all” at this season of your life? How do you not feel guilty or envious when your all isn’t your friends’ all?

     

     

    This week I am linked up with:

  • Our Own Private Dance

    Today is 5-Minute Friday when we write for five minutes on one specific word without listening to those critical voices. We write simply out of that creative spirit deep inside. Join me, Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama, and many other soul filled writers as we link up today for 5-Minute Fridays. Today’s word: Dance

    My Dancing Partner

    It was only a few months ago that you started dancing there. Deep in that secret place where every bit of God is coming together to form another of His most sacred creations.

    When I’m too tired you take the lead. Not swaying or prancing, but you are there. From one side to the other you remind me that you are practicing, until all is right, and it’s time for you to dance on the outside. I see your rhythm through my skin.

    Then it’s my turn to lead you. I sway and prance around my day, and you rest quietly as I rock you to sleep. Still once again, I glance down, hoping to see you take the lead. Soon enough you do. Your dancing begins once more.

    To our own private song we dance together. Either me rocking you or you rocking me. And I imagine the day coming soon when you’ll be in arms and we’ll dance face-to-face.

    Five Minute Friday