Author: Brenda Rodgers

Last week several bloggers wrote about the book Fifty Shades of Grey and the popularity it has gained with women – particularly mommies – which has given it the nickname “mommy porn”. Some of these blog posts created quite a heated discussion among all women including Christian women.

A few mindsets that resonated with me the most as I read the posts about Fifty Shades of Grey and comments from the readers are “If you read it, it’s not as bad as it seems”,  “There’s an element of redemption in the story”, “They get married at the end”, and “It’s fiction. Me reading that book will not make be become that character or do those things.”

This post is a follow-up response to that last statement in order to share with you a real-life story of a woman who was caught up in a similar lifestyle and who is now on the other side, redeemed by the blood of Jesus.

After my post, “Fifty Shades of Grey: A Game Plan“, she wrote the comment below. She signed her name “Redeemed”.

Before you read the comment, I just want to express my sincere appreciation to her for having the courage to share her story with us. This is a Jesus miracle, the kind that changes lives and shows His almighty glory. It is very scary to be vulnerable, step out in faith, and not be held under the bondage of the enemy’s lies about the past any longer. When I asked her if I could feature her comment in this post, she admitted to me how much courage it took to write it. But she also said, “Neither my silence or fear can bring Him glory – my testimony can”. She asked me to publish her comment with her real name, which I will do below.

Your points are well made and well received. I’m honestly as worried about the publicity this book gets in the Christian community as it does in the secular. As a woman who did fall prey to this type of lifestyle and subverting belief system enough to welcome two tattoos that marked me as a slave girl and as a possession, it burdens my heart for the women who are presently lost in or susceptible to believing lies that make appealing the idea of subjugation equating to love/acceptance/affection. It isn’t that these lies are more destructive than any of the other lies that we’re apt to believe about ourselves above the truth that God reveals to us about who we truly are – but this issue pulls upon scarred over wounds of a 30 year lifespan of seeking love, acceptance and affection from source after failing source until I believed that submitting myself in this manner would be Utopia – and I’m not exaggerating this point.

Once upon a time, I served in leadership positions within the alternative lifestyle community, and was the facilitator of a special interest group designed specifically for women who went far deeper than to classify themselves as “merely” submissive – we were slaves by choice, we were considered the elite in feminine subservience. And we believed it and wore that moniker with pride. So much pride that I personally spent a great deal of time reasoning and contending the sacredness of that position and that type of relationship in many different media sources – and if someone still in that lifestyle were to ever read your post they would do the same. And they would as well likely tell you that I simply must have had a bad experience, or the wrong relationship/partner, or become disgruntled or disillusioned somehow – that I can’t speak for those who truly know and live what they believe to be the truth. I remember believing it that deeply and devotedly.

I say all of this to say that I know that this book is dangerous. It is a toxic product disguised in a tempting package – as is all sin.  It’s just another source to delude, and to lull. Satan knows that if sin came to us in the form of a bucket of puss we wouldn’t be tempted to partake – and for many this book wouldn’t begin to be tempting because it can clearly be seen for what it is, but for others it is craftily disguised. To see women who claim to be Christian at the same time claim that this book isn’t harmful or sinful has brought home to me once again how evil our enemy is, how conniving and constant his pursuit is, and how perceptive his accuracy is at finding the slightest openings in us to create strongholds for us in hopes to separate us from God.

Terri Lynn

Friends, this is real life.

The most dangerous belief a person can have about herself is the belief that she is not capable of any, every, and all sin. 

But let’s just say that you can read this book and not fall into this lifestyle. I know that I am capable of falling into a lifestyle such as this, but I don’t know that I would immediately adopt it after reading this book. I think the consequences would be much more subtle, probably so subtle that I wouldn’t even recognize them for a while.

Even if you feel completely unaffected and still believe that you can read this book and be o.k., I ask you to consider this:

There are more slaves, sexual and otherwise, in the world today than there were during the African slave trade. 

Books such as this do not help that problem.

No, this book is not about human trafficking, and I am not trying to insinuate that it is, but my point is that this book glamorizes a form of abuse which then minimizes similar abuse that women experience in real life all over the world. 

If for no other reason, don’t read this book in honor of the women who are being shipped in crates across government borders through human trafficking. Women who are beat and raped and don’t have a choice.

How would they feel about a book that glamorizes their nightmare? How does the reader who shared her story above feel? 

Sometimes our decisions aren’t about us. They’re about what we’re supporting – who we’re supporting.

For further reference I encourage you to read about sexual slavery and human trafficking at The A21 Campaign, a campaign led by Christine Caine.

** 5/19/14 This is a follow-up to the post above. I just finished the book Pulling Back the Shades by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery. I will be writing a review this week, but in the meantime, if you are struggling with erotica in any way, I highly recommend this book. If you think reading erotica is “okay” or “not going to hurt you”, please read this book. And if you are a Christian woman who is struggling, most definitely, please read this book. Pulling Back the Shades will explain to you God’s amazing plan for your sexuality, and that erotica will hurt you. 

What are your thoughts about this testimony, this issue, and the controversy over this book?

I stand in front of the cashier at the Harris Teeter, and as I finish paying she looks at me and says, “Is plastic all right?”

Ahhhhh! “No, plastic isn’t alright”, I think to myself, “That’s why I bought all those reusable grocery bags. Except that I forgot them. Again.”

I stand there feeling like I’ve failed. Failed at being a good homemaker. Failed at being organized. Failed at being a good steward of our earth.

Whether it’s reusable bags or cloth diaper or organic meat or all-natural shampoo, I am to the point where I want to just close my eyes, put my fingers in my ears, bury my head, and start singing, “La, la, la, la, la, la”, every time I read some new way that I can be healthier or keep our environment healthier.

Today I am sharing more about my burden in Martha’s Next Plight: Going Green over at Intentional by Grace. Please join me there?

 

In the spring of 2010 I made the conscious decision to stand up to the enemy. I imagined myself looking him straight in the eyes with fierce boldness and making a declaration like I had never made before.

We had been married not even two years when we were told that my new husband, who was dying of Cardiomyopathy, would have to have a heart transplant.

For fourteen years prior to getting married I begged God to bring me a husband. I wanted to be married more than anything else in the world, and finally He had answered my prayers.

Now, after only two years, I may have to give my husband back.

That spring I contemplated all of my options. I could get angry. I could hate God. I could demand my way. I could resent my husband. I could pity my life. I could choose to die.

But since being married God was revealing to me that this is how I lived my life when I was single and how I could have used it for so much more. See, during those years, I fought hard against God, demanding my right to be married, pitying myself, trying to get for myself what I wanted, and living a life of unpeacefulness.

If I had stood up to the enemy then, I would have trusted God, served Him, and reflected His glory in my life for others to see.

This was my second chance. Now was my opportunity to resist the enemy’s deception, fall into God’s plan, trust Him, and reflect His glory.

So that spring I looked the enemy in the eye, and I said something like this, “Death may take my husband of only two years. You may challenge me. You may try to destroy me and make me turn my back on God. But this time, you will not succeed. John’s story, live or die, will be used for His glory – to bring many people to Him and to change lives including mine. I will tell of God’s sovereignty and provision. I will proclaim His goodness for as long as I live.”

And I did just that. I began to blog about John’s story. I began to send emails. I began to ask everyone, Christian or not, to pray for Him. I put John’s name on ministries’ prayer request lists all over the country. And each time I praised God for our trial.

My reward? Peace. A peace like I cannot describe to you. A peace that made others think I was in denial. A peace that prompted people to email me and ask me how I did it.

But I didn’t do it. God did all of it.

During those months I read the book of Job. I had to know how the people of long ago, who talked to God and walked with God, handled their trials. Job was faithful. Job continued to be faithful as the enemy stripped him of everything that was important to him. But the trials continued to come even more fiercely.

The trials continued to come into our life too. John is alive today. He is a man of many miracles.

But the road has been hard ever since.

The enemy remembers me that day looking in his eyes, and he has not given up.

At the end of July I will be attending a writing conference close to home called She Speaks. Since our trial two years ago God has prompted me to tell the story of where His supernatural peace came from and how it is accessible to all of us. So I have been preparing, and at She Speaks I plan to share my writing with other authors and publishers.

The enemy is hating me for it.

Our home has been in upheaval from his attacks since I surrendered my lack of confidence, my fear, and those voices that keep telling me I’m not good enough and made the decision to step out in faith and write this book.

The enemy doesn’t want another book written about God’s supernatural peace. People might just experience it themselves.

I told my husband that expect the attacks will continue for as long as we look the enemy in the eye. Choosing God does not make life without trials, but often times increases them.

So why stand up to him? Why not just let the enemy do his thing?

Because that’s the deception. My peace lies only in choosing God – over and over and over again – and letting others see His supernatural power in my life so that they may choose Him too. It is a conscious decision.

Have you ever intentionally chosen God and then experienced the enemy’s attacks? I would love to hear how you handled them in the comments. 

 

Today I’m linking up with: