I have found that there are two types of people: readers and nonreaders. I don’t mean “nonreader” in the sense that the person never reads. For instance, I consider my husband a nonreader, but he reads. He just reads a select few types of reading materials – mainly online sports magazines – and his purpose is solely for entertainment, not for answers.
The readers, on the other hand, may read some for entertainment, but books are the first place they go for answers. That’s me.
I walked out of the bathroom, the plastic stick now showing two lines and predestining the rest of my life still sitting on the counter next to the sink, and I began to pace. Back and forth. Back and forth. Saying, “Oh my goodness, oh my goodness”, louder with each lap trying to make what I just learned was growing inside of me would sink in and I would really believe it.
We sat in front of the T.V. on Saturday afternoon, flipping channels, wasting time, and landed on the food channel. You know the one. The channel where either a food artist works a decadent act of chemistry on a white, ceramic, canvas disk, making your mouth water and making you wish you were the artist in your own kitchen. Or you watch other people traveling around savoring the prepared art of someone else in order to make a fair judgment about it, which always seems to be a pleasant one they can’t resist.
On this day we watched the latter. A man traveling around from city to city indulging in wonderful food in quaint hidden towns and hole-in-the-wall secrets.
My mouth, too, began to water, and I wondered what great food I could be missing right here where I live.
The women starting preparing our dinner at two o’clock in the afternoon. They started with cutting the cabbage as the chicken ran around them for one last time.
Four hours later dinner was served. Some men brought benches over for us to sit on to eat. They had a few forks for us, too, but not for everyone.
In the pitch black night the rest of the village sat over on the other side of the hut, away from us, as we ate. There was no thought of them ever eating with us. That was simply unspeakable. So they waited until we were finished.
Whatever was left would be theirs. First the men, then the women, then the children would eat. In that order. If there was no food left, then the children would go hungry that night. That’s the way it is. A man is more valuable than a child. After all, how would the family get food if the father died?
Just recently I was listening to a sermon by someone. I don’t remember his name because I have several podcasts downloaded. The pastor told a story about traveling to another country and seeing the people in that culture literally bow down and worship statues and sculptures and things. Just like the golden calf in the Old Testament. “Who still worships objects?” he thought. How ridiculous that seemed.
Then a woman from that country came to America. He asked her, “How do you like America?” assuming she would love it. Who wouldn’t?
“I hate it”, she said. “There is so much idolatry. People worship their stomachs here.”
His point was the hypocrisy in both his heart and the woman’s heart. And the realization that we are a very idolatrous nation even in the most concealed ways.
I watched that Saturday afternoon the man on the food channel full of enthusiasm and smiles almost panting as he traveled from place to place trying different cuisines and variations of food, and my heart began to ache.
No longer can I see abundance and not think about my Compassion child and the little girl without a dress and then fall on my own knees in confession of the love of things in my own life.
God gave me His eyes for those few hours there in the Bush, and I brought them back with me to the Land of the Free. I cannot hide behind oblivion because I’ve seen it with my own eyes, with my own soul.
No longer may I fully enjoy all that’s around me, but then again should I? Or should I view it from His perspective? Is all of this stuff really a blessing? Or is it more of a curse, keeping us further from Him?
I don’t know the answers. I want a clear-cut line, but there’s not one. I want to accept His blessings with open hands for what they are – grace-filled gifts, but I don’t want to be deceived into thinking they’re blessings when they’re not.
Africa may have ruined my fun of sitting and watching the food channel, but it opened my heart to His and made me think about making abundance my God. I’ll leave the line up to Him.
How do you view abundance? How do you view idolatry? Share with me in the comments. I would love to hear from you.
We’re in Part 3 of Sacred Singleness, and today we are discussing chapters 9 and 10. These are my favorite chapters because they explain my biggest regret from my days as a single woman. I recently wrote a guess post for Megan at He Will Be Faithful to Complete It entitled “A Single Regret”. I do not know when it will be published, but it will be during Megan’s Singleness Saturdays series. In the meantime I encourage you to stop by her blog and read the encouraging words written during this series.
“She did not have a special call upon her life. Rather, she was simply living out the very same call God has placed upon each one of use who claim to know Him – utter abandonment to His purposes and absolute trust in His faithfulness.” (Sacred Singleness, p. 119)
One verse comes to mind when I read this question. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind” (Luke 10:27). The Bible is full of stories of people who were not abandoned to God and His purposes. Until we are fully abandoned to Him we will not discover our true calling, God’s true intention for our lives.
For me, I was afraid in many ways to be fully abandoned because I didn’t know what He might ask me to do. I liked my comfortable life, and I did not want that life disrupted. Now I know that this left me with a void – a void that could only be fulfilled by surrendering to what He wanted to for me instead of what I wanted for myself.
On page 125, Leslie gives specific ways to pray in order to begin living poured out for Jesus.
- Ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit and supernaturally equip you.
- Ask Him to reveal activities or habits that are not glorifying to Him.
- Ask Him to show you anything that is distracting you from Him.
- Ask Him to remove every stumbling block.
When I accepted this truth, I finally began to truly understand God’s heart for me. It is hard to realize it when as a single woman, but nothing else in life will fully satisfy you, and nothing else will be satisfying if you are not fully surrendered to God’s purposes. You will search filled with anxiety and confusion until you begin to live for His purposes alone.
“American mentalities train us that this life is all about our dreams, goals, and our ambitions. But that’s not true Christianity.” (Sacred Singleness p. 126)
In real life, I lead a group of single ladies’ through the small groups at our church. We have been reading and discussing Sacred Singleness. Last week we discussed chapter 9 and ways that we can specifically serve God and others in our lives and communities.
When I talked to one of my single friends later in the week, I was so happy (and proud) to hear that she has already contacted two organizations about service opportunities: the pregnancy center in our city and our church about serving with the middle and high school ministries. She is a true example of pursuing a life sold out and surrendered to Christ. She is committed to being a good steward of her time and her gift, right now, of singleness.
This week I want to challenge you to do the same. Make a list and then make the phone calls. The best way to overcome feelings of loneliness, fear, selfishness, etc. is to give your life for the good of someone else’s. In my guest post at He Will Be Faithful to Complete It (that I mentioned above), I list specific ways that you can do just this.
Next week we will discuss the last chapter – chapter 11!
One more month has passed! It’s going by faster now that the first trimester is over, but we’re still anxiously waiting to find out what exactly is in this body of mine – besides a look-a-like fruit!
As we wait, we continue to grow . . .
He or she is about the size of an avocado, weighs about four ounces, and is about four inches long!
Our baby’s ears are in their final position, and he or she is beginning to hear our voices. Uh-oh! Toenails are growing, too. What about that sweet heart? It’s pumping 25 quarts of blood each day. This information comes from The Baby Center and The Mayo Clinic.
Well, it depends on who you ask. Friends that I see here and there each week mostly say that I don’t look like I’ve gained any weight except for in my stomach. I really don’t know how to take that since if you ask John or me we will tell you there’s been weight gain everywhere!
It’s quite amazing how as soon as I hit the 2nd trimester I felt a burst of energy! Is it just in my head? Who knows, but I’ll take it! I almost feel like I have more energy than before I got pregnant. I feel great, but do notice a few annoyances like pimples all over my face.
I still don’t like a lot of meat, but I love a lot of sweets! Not good, huh? Yes, I know. I need to watch that. I eat a lot of yogurt and fruit and the bad-for-you sweets, too. I tend to like snack foods more than big meals!
We went back to the doctor and heard the baby’s heartbeat again. It was a little harder to find this time which I didn’t like, but the midwife assured me that it’s because the baby is behind a lot of tissue. His or her heartbeat was 170 beats per minute the first time we heard it, and at this visit it was 155 beats per minute. The most fascinated part was that we also heard the baby moving, and there was a lot of it!
We are still on track with using a midwife and pray that everything goes smoothly in order to make that possible. At the next visit (at 19 weeks) we will have our first ultrasound, and this will give us a lot of detailed information about how the baby is developing. And of course we will lay our eyes on our child for the first time and find out if he’s a he or she’s a she! Needless-to-say we’re extremely excited about this special day!
A few weeks ago we bought our crib, and John put it together. Yes, it’s early, but we found a great deal, and I want to start decorating! Once we know baby’s gender it will be full force ahead!
Funniest thing – daddy is losing weight and giving it all to mommy! He is working very hard to accomplish the growing “honey-do list” I gave him about two months ago. But when there’s a baby on the way the list seems a lot more pleasurable. Daddy made my first Mother’s Day very special with candy (yay!), flowers, and my very favorite, the sweetest card ever!
Where do I begin? My emotions are at an all-time high, and everyday there is a new thought, worry, emotion, idea, and joy. As a person with a performance-based mentality most of the time, it is hard to begin something – motherhood or parenthood for that matter – that is so big it is impossible to accomplish peacefully without full reliance on Jesus. I am overwhelmed with what is ahead, but I know God is pruning me to stop working in my own effort and just “come to Him” (Matthew 11:28-30).
On a different note, I never thought that at 35 years old I would have five other friends having babies at the same time as me – four of which are first children for them too and three who are due in October with me. For most people my age the baby-making season has already begun, and there was always the thought that I’d be the “only one” left. What a blessing it is to have other women close to me going through the very same thing! Of course, all but one lives in Georgia – insert sad face – but just knowing they are there makes so much of a difference.
Undefined by Crystal at Shine and Joyful Mothering! – Loved, loved, loved it!
A Comparison of Birthing Settings by Erin at The Humbled Homemaker
We’re wrapping up part two of Sacred Singleness and discussing chapter 8 today. We’re answering the question, “Does God want me to be happy?” What do you think? Do you feel like God is denying you happiness? Let’s see what Leslie Ludy has to teach us through this chapter.
“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24)
For me, this is the hardest part in my Christian walk. But it does get easier the more I let go and surrender. I have found, personally, that surrendering to what God wants for me is much sweeter and filled with much more joy than I could ever imagine. That does not mean that life suddenly becomes perfect. What it does mean is that I no longer have to feel the burden to “make things happen”, which ultimately weighs me down anyway. It took me a long time to realize this promise and truth. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I finally was able to give up. Today I still struggle in areas other singleness, but with each desire I release I am able to accept so much more.
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” (Philippians 2:14-15)
This section of chapter 8 has the heading “Honesty or Sin?” (p. 108). I agreed with the overall point that Leslie was trying to make, but I would make a few distinctions. Through Jesus’ death on the Cross we have a relationship with God. Of course there needs to be respect and reverence about going to the Almighty Creator of the universe, but I think He honors our honesty with Him. After all, He knows our true thoughts and feelings anyway! However, at the same time I think that our whining and complaining can lead to sin if we do not ask for help with being content and turn away from it. I think going to God with a honest, but contrite, heart does not lead to sin. It is when the actions continue without a realization that it leads us to be impure and full of blame that leads to sin.
Next week we will discuss chapters 9 and 10! Check back here for the discussion questions!
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