An unusual opportunity presents itself in the online world that isn’t quite the same in real life. It’s the opportunity to sit behind these keys and punch them in a way that creates any picture I want to create. Any picture I want you to see. For the most part, you will never know if the picture I create is accurate or not because, after all, you will probably never be on this side of my keyboard.
But to create a picture of a puffed up reality existing on the other side of your screen would be more than dishonest. It would be a tragedy. Only through the pictures of my true reality does grace shine through. And the healing begins.
So today I tell you the real behind (in)RL, the conference I hosted in my home this past weekend. I hope it doesn’t disappoint you that there’s more to the story than daisies and gifts and cupcakes and smiles.
(In)RL came to my door bearing it’s name full-on. It was real. It was risky. It was messy.
I prepared all day the Friday before. Morning ’til night I prepared. You know what it’s like hosting anything in your home. No matter how small, it is always effort. Not bad effort, just effort.
So that day I cleaned and baked and cooked. I decorated and printed discussion questions and made name tags.
Then the Real began to set in with each text and email I began to receive. I was expecting 10 of my friends in all – only two that I had never met. The messages that day were not of prayers or excitement or encouragement. No, they were to tell me that only four would end up coming the next day.
My community cancelled the day before. Yes, after sending an RSVP weeks before, they cancelled. And these were my in-real-life friends.
I cried.
Exhausted and burned out, now with tons of food and only utter disappointment there to eat it all, I cried.
I told myself over and over, “It’s not about you, Brenda. It’s about Him and who He wants here”, and I wanted to believe it. But I was hurt.
That Saturday afternoon my four guests and I sat in my living room and watched the webcasts where other women shared their thoughts on community – risky, messy, complicated, sometimes hurtful, and full of forgiveness – community. Stephanie from Squee, Inc. said that she sometimes didn’t like community. I sometimes didn’t like community either.
The more I listened I began to see a bigger purpose than the six friends who stood-me-up that afternoon. See, I committed to hosting (in)RL way back in November. When I committed, God was already in my living room this past Saturday. Those women that were there? They were already there, too, in His mind. He knew who He wanted to be there. And He knew who He didn’t.
Community wasn’t about me that day. It was about those who I was serving – each cupcake frosted, each strawberry cut, and each ingredient added – was meant to serve those who were there. They were my guests of honor.
Yes, community can be messy. And community can be hurtful. But sometimes we are just called to serve one another anyway. Take the risk. Shed the tear. Forgive. Dive in anyway. The blessing is waiting. All we have to do is say yes.
What is your reality of community? Please share with us in the comments.
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