Brenda Rodgers

Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • Are You in Need of Community?

    As I get older, finding and maintaining friendships seems to get harder. Sometimes I think it’s because being an introvert I can go a pretty long time without realizing how much I need my girlfriends. Then it’s like I start bouncing off the four walls of my house wondering why my mind won’t settle down and my heart is so discontent.

    Regardless of my personality, I need community. God made me this way, and when I starve myself from it I begin to feel the effects and life seems to unravel a bit.

    Maybe you are the same way. Maybe you just graduated college and all of your friends are now dispersed all over the country following their paths and dreams. You’re finding that it’s a lot harder to make connections with like-minded women without the dormitory or college organization to bring you together.

    Or maybe you’re the mom – either full-time homemaker or working outside the home – in the trenches of motherhood and family life and all that it entails. You love your family. You love your job as wife and mommy, but your soul still aches for just one person, or maybe a few, to do life with.

    Quite possibly you’re on the other side of motherhood. You’re now in a place where life has slowed down, and you’re looking back as your years raising those babies who have now flown the coop. There was no time to cultivate friendships then, but now you have the time.

    No matter what your life circumstance or situation, the ladies at (in)Courage are helping us carve out a little space in our lives, one Saturday afternoon, to come together with friends we know and friends we have yet to meet through the (in)RL Conference.

    (in)RL is a meetup opportunity that allows us to build community with friends we already have in our real lives, but may have trouble finding the time to get together with,  friends we may know online through blogging and reading others’ blogs, and even other women in our communities that we have yet to meet.

    What will we do at (in)RL?

    Primarily have girl time!  And of course that means food, giveaways, good conversations, and an awesome webcast created by the women of (in)courage!

    Check out the webcast agenda and more information here!

    So how to you join an (in)RL meetup?

    1. Go to the (in)RL website, and click on the “Check Meetup Map” icon on the right. Find out here where there is a meetup closest to you.

    2. Then, click “Register” on the (in)RL website.

    3. You will find all the details about your meetup when you register.

    If you’re in the Triad, NC area, I’m hosting!

    I would love to meet you! Go to our meetup page to RSVP, and be sure to register, too.  If you have any questions, email me at brenda@brendarodgers.com.

    So is community kind of scary?

    Yes, building community especially with people you do not know well is kind of scary. I get nervous any time I go into a situation where I do not know people well. And am I nervous about hosting (in)RL? A little bit! There are a million “what ifs” going through my mind.

    But I just think of all the possibilities! The possibilities of connecting with other women, making new friends, and sharing life together! We will all be in the same situation, so come, connect with other women, and get your community fix at (in)RL!

    Are you attending an (in)RL meetup in your area? If so, share with us in the comments!

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  • What I Discovered from My Blogging Break

    A little over a month ago I decided it was time to take a blogging break, and so for the past month Triple Braided has been somewhat of a ghost blog except for a few wonderful guest bloggers.  (If you did not have a chance to read their posts, they are great reads, and I am so blessed to have them featured.  You can check them out here: A Long Distance Love Story Part 1 and Part 2, The Thief of Joy, and What are the Desires of Our Hearts as Single Women?

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Baddog_

    So why a blogging break?

    Back in January God revealed to me that my One Word for 2012 needed to be Focus – something that I have an extremely hard time doing. I am the girl who goes into the kitchen to clean out the pantry then decides to organize the spices.  And after walking into the garage to search for that one plastic basket that would be great to use to organize the spices, starts cleaning out the Christmas decorations.  Needless to say, focus is hard for me, and I end up with my hand in a dozen unfinished projects feeling unaccomplished, overwhelmed, and scattered.

    The same has been true for blogging and writing.  I began blogging for fun.  Then it became therapy as I processed my husband’s sickness and heart transplant.  At that point I realized how much I love to write and found myself writing in my head constantly. And I realized what influence people can have in the world through their words.  I wanted to be a part of that. First because I loved it, and also because I could see a bigger picture.  Quickly I learned that blogging and writing is hard work when you’re serious about it.  Since I did not go into it seriously my hand was in a dozen blogging projects and ideas without any focus.  It was time for me to get focused, ask God about His will for this space, and commit to only working on those goals.

    How a Blogging Break Helped Me

    During the time that I took away from blogging a big event transpired in my life.  I cannot wait to share it with you, but today’s not the day. I am going to reveal that news later this week.  But with this news my world changed pretty drastically.  It opened up into a whole new realm.  A realm that I was not used to considering or thinking about or all of a sudden being passionate about.

    The problem became that this new world did not fit into the place where I thought God was calling me in the blogging world.  And there was no way to make it fit. I struggled with making my present fit into what I feel so strongly about from my past – my single years – and helping young women make wiser choices in this season of life.

    I went back to God and asked Him again where  all these places from my life – the past and the present with all the passion that I have for both – fit into Triple Braided .  They are me, so I want to share them and talk about them and learn more about them.  He revealed to me how to make all the seasons of my life fit.

    I discovered my blogging niche.

    I read over and over again that blogging is not for you, the writer.  I read that it really has nothing to do with the writer, and no one really cares about that person behind the keyboard.  Blogging is about your readers.  It is important to constantly think about your readers’ wants and needs and not your own.

    I agree with this, and I want blogging to be about others and not about me. I want to use it as a ministry to maybe, just maybe, encourage, inspire, and give hope to women who read these words. But then I find myself getting too focused on others and stats and “bigger bloggers” and what more I should be doing.  And again, I lose my focus.

    I also want to be an upside-down blogger as Ann Voskamp so beautifully wrote about in a Blogger’s Prayer. After all, shouldn’t my whole life be upside-down, only looking to God with surrendered eyes?  I want this space to be filled only with thoughts, ideas, and words that bring Him glory and point myself and others back to Him – thinking only of pleasing the One who gives me breath.

    If He is the One my eyes are fixed on, then of course they will also be fixed on others.  After all, He called me to love Him and love others.  Being an upside-down blogger satisfies my need to please my readers.

    But there was a piece of the purpose that God revealed to me even further as I focused on my place in the blogging world.  Yes, I write for Him.  And yes, I write for others. But I discovered another way God is using this blog in my life.

    I discovered that He uses my writing to heal me.

    “He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light.” Job 12:22

    Through my writing God searches my heart (Psalm 139:23) and brings to light not just sin in my life, but the connection of dots between my struggles and my past. And as I search scripture to verify my thoughts, He reveals truth to me.

    So maybe for some reasons I do write for myself, not directly, but indirectly so that God can continue to use it to bring my dark places to light.  Dark places that I may never even reveal to the readers, but the places that I know about, the places that have become my holes.

    The Temptation During Breaking

    Over the past month I have kept loosely involved with the blog world.  I have read some other blogs and participated some on Facebook. There were times that I wondered if taking a break was a bad idea.  Were my readers going to stop reading? Was it going to be too hard to “catch up”? Would I miss out on some opportunities?

    The answer to each of these questions is yes.  Taking a break is risky, and it does require sacrifice. I focused on focusing – focusing on what was best for my family, my readers, and most importantly God.  There were times when I missed out on participating in link-ups or writing exercises or guest posts, but by focusing I came out of it with a clearer purpose and a calmer spirit.

    I am happy that my blogging break has ended, and I am excited to see all that God has in store for the future of Triple Braided.  If you haven’t noticed I moved from Blogger to WordPress which was a feat in and of itself. (I will write more about that soon too!)  This week I will also be sharing my new purpose for Triple Braided and some very exciting news.  I hope you will join me!

    Have you ever felt called to take a break from something – blogging or otherwise?  What did you learn from the experience? Tell us about it in the comments below.

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  • Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All of Your Relationships {A Book Review}

    First of all, I really, really like this book.

    Most of the books I have read about singleness and dating are how-to books based on the most ideal situation where parents lead their children in dating and courtship, young men ask fathers permission to court their daughters, and young women are supported in community throughout the process. 

    The only problem is that this was never my story, and so these books left me feeling like a misfit where all hope was lost.

    This is not so for Renee Johnson Fisher’s new book Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All of Your Relationships.

    The Word of God seems to be silent when it comes to the do’s and do not’s of dating, and it certainly does not offer us a step-by-step guide of finding the perfect man.  However, our better judgment reminds us that the Word of God is never silent.

    In Not Another Dating Book, Renee lifts the silence we often feel like we hear from God. She connects God’s Word to the practicality of life as a single adult.  However, instead of doing so with another list of firm “rules”, she presents singleness in light of God’s Word allowing the Holy Spirit to guide the intricacies of the every day all the while pointing the reader’s attention back to cultivating the one relationship that matters above all others: a relationship with Jesus. 

    Not Another Dating Book is a breath of fresh air for a single woman.  The focus is taking off of the singleness as a season to be fixed and put on a season to be surrendered – even the everyday, real-life details – using a scripture reference for each one and without “one way or no way” language except as is clearly shown in God’s Word.
    Here are a few of my favorite devotions from this book:

    Define Your Relationship with Christ (p. 37) :: cultivating the most important relationship

    What are You Wearing? (p. 41) :: for when you feel like something’s wrong with you

    The Spirit’s Nudging (p. 51) :: if only I had read this six years ago!

    Unequally Yoked (p. 69) :: scripture references on why this is so dangerous

    A God Sized Adventure (p. 87) :: “A flesh and blood prince isn’t coming to rescue you from a tower, but the God of the Universe is coming to take your hand and your heart.” – beautiful!

    If you are looking for a book that isn’t a how-to book for dating but instead shines light on God’s instructions for practical issues as a single adult, then I encourage you to read Renee Johnson’s Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide to All of Your Relationships!

    Read more about Renee Johnson Fisher and her ministry at her blog Devotional Diva.

    **All of the opinions and ideas in this book review are strictly my own. I was not compensated in any way for this review. The links included are affiliate links.**

  • The Discipline of Stopping . . . and Waiting

    Sometimes God tells us to stop . . . and wait.  To put the brakes on all of our own ideas and dreams and wants and asks us to just sit quietly, listen to His voice, and stay there until He says stand again.

    And our discipline muscle is stretched.  We really don’t want to sit and wait because if we don’t move how will anything move, progress, gain momentum, or go forward?

    Therein lies the problem.  The reason for the stop and the wait.  No longer are His purposes being fulfilled through us, but instead we are trying to fulfill our purposes and asking Him to just agree.

    So gently He nudges us to stop and wait.  We can either ignore Him or discipline ourselves to obey.

    That is where I am right now.  God is asking me to take a break from blogging for about a month to {Re}Focus.  For me it is a blessing that He would lead me so specifically and stop me before I go too far off on my own.  After all, my One Word for 2012 is Focus! It’s important to discipline myself to keep my One Word relevant throughout the year.

    I will have a few guest bloggers post throughout the month, and I am very grateful for them and excited to see how God leads their writing!  If you are interested in guest posting, please contact me at triplebraidedlife{at}gmail{dot}com.

    I also have a book review that you do not want to miss coming very soon!

    Thank you for sharing this space with me and for being a reader of Triple Braided.  If it comes to your mind, I would love your prayers for where God is leading me in blogging, writing, and ministry.

    And I will see you again in one month!  Thank you, sweet friends!

  • Pursuit of Proverbs 31 {A Book Review}

    Pursuit of Proverbs 31

    My mom was an amazing homemaker.  She baked from scratch – I mean never using a box. She made some of our clothes and all the drapes in our house along with handmade soap, candles, and greeting cards.  There were no junk drawers or piles or times when we just needed to “pick up”.  Everything seemed to always be picked up.  And she was late to bed and early to rise. 

    And me?  I seem to have gotten very little of those talents and to be honest, not much interest in them either.  When I read Proverbs 31 I immediately think of my mom who seemed to have done it all, and then I think of myself and feel defeated – and pretty exhausted. 

    But living a life like the Proverbs 31 woman’s is not living a life of doing but living a life of being, and this is what Amy Bayliss beautifully highlights in her new book and Bible study Pursuit of Proverbs 31.  Pursuit of Proverbs 31 focuses on this woman being a description of the Bride of Christ, and out of love for God she is given the ability to love her husband, care for her children, pursue ministry, and provide economically. 

    So why should unmarried women read Pursuit of Proverbs 31 and pursue a life of a woman who had a husband and children?  Does this book apply to unmarried women?

    Absolutely!  Did you know that Proverbs 31 was written from the thoughts of King Lemuel’s mother as she described the wife she wanted for her son?  This was her wish list for her son’s future wife – not an actual wife at the time.  This is your perfect opportunity to read, study, and mediate on these verses so that God will prepare you for the marriage and family he has for you one day. 

    Pursuit of Proverbs 31 is a great way to start your study. Amy’s book is divided into ten easily read chapters that you can expand upon as desired.  Each chapter ends with Focused Thoughts, Scripture for Memory, and Essential, Useful, and Bonus exercises to help you study deeper if you wish.  The study can be done individually or in a small group. 

    What I loved most about this book is the focus on our relationship with God and from that all else flows – our marriages, children, homemaking, ministries.  The relationship with our Heavenly Father allows us to be the Proverbs 31 woman. 

    Click the book cover below to find out more about Pursuit of Proverbs 31, the author Amy Bayliss, and to order a copy for only $4.99!

    Pursuit of Proverbs 31

    Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. 

  • Become an Organ, Eye, or Tissue Donor!

    Today is National Donor Day along with Valentine’s Day, and I couldn’t let it go by without asking you to please BECOME A DONOR!

    My husband had a heart transplant almost two years ago.  It was a miracle in the making, but he almost didn’t receive an organ match in time.  Please consider registering and discuss your choice with your family.  They need to know your desires as well. 

    And THANK YOU to all of the donors, and THANK YOU to all of the families who have loved ones who are or were organ donors.  We appreciate your gift more than words can express! 

    If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know!  I will be more than happy to talk to you about our experience or point you to the information you need.  There is a lot of misinformation about organ donation, so please do the research yourself.