Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • A Story about Finding Purpose and a Giveaway to All of You Who Want to Write

    Today I am telling a story that I am living right now – a story of finding God’s true purpose for my life – and there is an awesome giveaway from Jeff Goins to go along with it!  If you’re most interested in the giveaway, just scroll down to enter.  He’s giving away two of his most recent eBooks, and I would love for you to have a copy!  I’ve read them, and they are just like all of his other works – useful, practical, and without fluff! Every aspiring writer’s must haves!

    But first my story of becoming a writer and finding purpose . . . wow . . . yes . . . a writer . . .

    I think the first time I really wrote about it was when I announced that I was getting off of the ferris wheel.  The ferris wheel started two years after I graduated college, and believe it or not I did get off a few times, only to get back on again.  It’s funny how the familiar, ever how miserable or possibly outside of God’s will, keeps us going around and around and around – feeling hopeless and afraid. 
    That was me.  And sometimes it still is me.  But at least now I’m working on getting off for good.
     
    But anyway, it was when I was sitting in John’s hospital room before he had his transplant that it came to me.  The missing piece to the puzzle that has left me feeling bound to a career I detested to the point of feeling moral guilt.  I began writing each day in the months that led up to those hospital days about caring for my sick husband and how my soul hurt and how God was faithful.  And with each post I wrote I felt better.  I felt like there was a place for my mind on those pages, and I was able to release it each night there.  Shortly after I began writing it became my mission to write for a purpose.  I did not know if John would die or not, but I was determined that our story would be used for good.  So I wrote it.  Day in and day out.  I wrote it.

    And I remembered my little girl self sitting in my room writing a story about a unicorn.  I liked to write, and by school standards I was a good writer.  But I never thought so.  I got frustrated with it, and pushed it down deep, deep inside.   I remember telling myself over and over again that I wasn’t creative.  I was logical and organized and predictable.  I was the first child.  The responsible one.  Not the artist.  But no matter how hard I tried to make my life match these labels, it didn’t.  I was really a dreamer and messy and spontaneous. 

    So I began to explore this new need to write that gave me my oxygen each of those days, in and out of the hospital, not knowing what tomorrow would bring.  And I began to really contemplate the effects of the ferris wheel and my purpose for this life I’ve been given. 

    After those scary days had passed, I sat in our pastoral counselor’s office at church not knowing which way was right.  I knew I had to get off.  I knew the ride had to come to an end.  Then he said to me, “Brenda, you are a writer.  You are a creative.”

    My world opened up.  For once I knew myself and was comfortable there.  It was o.k. to hate the ferris wheel and to be messy and disorganized and dream about unicorns. 

    I was meant for something different.  I was meant to write. 

    So, I began to study the art and industry of writing.  And, boy, is it vast and hard.  It is a lot of work. 

    But there are some great people out there who not only are great writers, but who love writing so much they like to teach us how to do it better.  Jeff Goins is one of them.  His blog is an endless well of information, and he is so gracious that he offers most of it for free.

    Most recently he has written two new eBooks: Every Writer’s Dream: How to Never Pitch Your Writing Again and Before Your First Book: 5 Tips to Get Published Now
        
    I have read both of the eBooks, and this is what I like most about Jeff’s writing:

    • He is honest.  He tells it like it is without fluff or dramatized sentimentalism.  But he is also encouraging. 
    • His books are practical.  They are easy to understand with one, two, three, . . . steps to take.  
    • His books are useful. I am always feel like I have information all in one place that I would have taken hours to find bits and pieces scattered all over the internet.  
    • I am left with the feeling that he truly loves writing, so he genuinely wants to help people be successful at writing, too.
    If you are a blogger or aspiring writer of any kind, you need his new eBooks! 
    And this week I am hosting a giveaway to TWO readers! 

    All you have to do is comment telling me something about your purpose, knowing your purpose, struggling with knowing your purpose, or anything about purpose! 
    On Friday we will announce the TWO winners of Jeff’s new eBook!


    a Rafflecopter giveaway

  • Do You Have Permission to Say No?

    Do you ever wish you just had someone right beside you making you say “no” to projects or parties or events that you don’t  have time for just so that you won’t feel quilty for saying no yourself? 

    Well, today at Homemaker’s Challenge I am sharing the one thing that has helped me to say no – guilt free – and has helped me manage my time better.  Find out what it is here!

    While you’re at it check out Amy Lynn Andrew’s fantastic eBook, Tell Your Time (affiliate link), that I recently read and that helped me to organize my day so that’s it’s filled with only the vitals – the things that fulfill my mission!

    And The Mom Whisperer – the life coach that helped me find and write my mission, and someone I highly recommend! 

  • A Beach Party (in)RL!

    Have you heard? 
    (In)Courage is hosting a beach party –  (in)RL, right in our own homes, all over the world on April 27th and 28th! 
    There will be a webcast, giveaways, food, girl talk, and a t-shirt for everyone who registers!
    Go to www.inrl.us to register for a meetup near you.
    And if you’re in NC, I’m hosting!  Contact me, and I’ll give you more info! 
  • 5 Things Singles Should Do in 2012

    They say that hindsight is 20/20, and as cliché as it sounds, there is so much truth to those words.

    Oh, if I could take a stroll backwards.  Not that I want to be in a completely different place or with a different husband, but so that I could be a different person in this place and a different person to my husband.

    Single women, God has filled you with opportunity to know him deeply, serve him greatly, and create a legacy for him for years to come.

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: John ONolan

    This year, choose to embrace his gift of opportunity.  Make this a year of intentional living where every day counts for someone – whether it be you, your future husband or children, a friend, a family member, someone in need, or a complete stranger.  Make each day count for someone big for God.

    If my vision had been 20/20 . . .

    5 Things You Should Do in 2012:

    1. Get a mentor!

    What was that aching feeling in my chest that I physically felt sometimes as a single woman?  What was it that made me long to be hugged or touched after a weekend alone?  What made me crave sitting in a restaurant, even if alone, just so that I could get out of my one-bedroom apartment?
    It was God’s design for us to live in community.

    What makes it hard for single adults is that community has to be sought after a little harder than for someone who has a default, permanent body living in their house every day.  As single adults get older, and possibly the involvement of parents or older adult influence lessens, it becomes increasingly important to have a person whom you can go and talk with and who can be an accountability partner for you.

    The key is for the relationship to be intentional with the purpose of helping you grow closer to God – not to be another friend who just tells you what you want to hear.  This was my problem.  I never lacked mentors as a single woman.  I had several women who willingly invested their time into me.  But I never was completely honest.  And they never required me to be.

    Get a mentor with the intentional purpose of helping you grow closer to God even when it means you having to answer the hard questions.

    2. Get healthy!

    There is no need to argue the importance of physical health.  We are inundated with reasons to get healthy, and we all know them to be fact whether we want to do them or not.

    Instead, I want to focus on two other facets of health – spiritual and emotional health.  Living in the fallen world we live in, we all are wounded by family, friends, strangers, and even circumstances in our childhood and throughout our lives.  There is no escaping the curse of the apple no matter how Christian your family was growing up or how perfect your life has been since.  There is always still something.  Even if it’s the little lies the enemy plants in your head and persuades you to repeat over and over again.

    There is one insight into marriage that I was told as a single woman, but did not fully realize the truth behind until I experienced it myself.  It is this:

    Whatever you bring into marriage will be compounded by a thousand after the vows.

    So this is the time to get healthy!  Get a mentor, pastor, or even a Christian counselor to help you overcome whatever the apple has brought into your life – insecurities, anger, rejection, fear, etc. Becoming more emotionally and spiritually healthy will help you live the abundant life God has for us now, but it will also create the most optimal environment for a healthy marriage and home one day.

    3. Become a servant!

    I know that single adults do not like to feel like they are the workhorses because they supposedly have more time.  And I do not want to make you feel that way either.

    However, as with living in community, single adults have to be more intentional in the area of service.  As a married person, service is a built-in part of every day life. If you do not serve each other, and continually learn to serve better, then your marriage will most likely not last the long haul and certainly will not thrive.

    Service for a single adult is not easy.  You have seek opportunities and then sometimes have to go to them alone.  You don’t have a built-in service project right under your roof.

    But, on the other hand, single adults can benefit so much more than married people by pouring their lives into the lives of others.  Serving helps you focus your mind on others outside of yourself.  This helps with your spiritual and emotional health, and it provides for your need for community.  And serving prepares you for the lifetime of serving you will experience as a wife and/or mother.

    Ask God to show you where he wants you to serve him.  It could be the church, a local organization, or maybe just a friend or someone in your neighborhood.  Just be willing to become a servant.

    4. Use your gifts!

    “I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to”, “I want to bake and cook, but have no one to bake and cook for”, and “I wish I had a home to decorate”.  These are statements that came out of my mouth as a single woman.  As this little girl who wanted nothing more than to be a homemaker, singleness left me feeling purposeless and without a place for my unique design and desires.

    If you love to decorate, decorate your home with the same enthusiasm you would decorate a home married. If you love to bake, bake away and find a great place to give away your baked goods.  If you want to learn to scuba dive, learn to scuba dive – even by yourself!  If you love children, offer free babysitting to a couple at your church or mentor a young girl.

    God gifted you with uniqueness to use for his glory.  It is without conditions, and he wants to use you, and how he created you, to accomplish his purposes now! These are purposes that are only for you to accomplish.  No one else can accomplish your specific purposes .  They’re yours.

    So embrace your gifts and the life he has given you, and use them now!

    5. Consider not dating!

    Yes, you read correctly.  Consider not dating.  This is the one thing that I wish I had done as a single woman for no other reason but to “set my mind” firmly on God.

    I talk about this more and the “No Dating Challenge” in this post.  I encourage you to read more about why I would ever ask you to consider not dating.

    This one commitment could be life changing for you, and I challenge you to pray boldly for God’s direction in whether he would like for you to take this challenge.

    Each of these five things are only important now because the time you have is now.  But their significance will be fully realized years to come, and even into eternity, with each relationship impacted through the decisions you make today.

    So, of these five items, which ones are you going to do in 2012?  What would you add to this list?

    Today I am linking up with (in)courage and Annie Down’s post “Single in the New Year”.
    Go on over there and be encouraged and inspired!

    I would love to hear from you either by commenting below or emailing me at
    triplebraidedlife{at}gmail{dot}com.
    and
    Join me on Twitter and Facebook!
  • You are Important, So I Came to Meet You :: Burkina Faso :: Day 4

    At first I didn’t think we could communicate.  I met her outside of the missionaries’ house after coming back from the bush.  She smiled sheepishly, and I smiled back.  I reached out and rubbed her back.  I found myself doing that when I met the children.  It was my way of saying what they couldn’t understand through my words. 
    You are important. So I came here to meet you. 

    She had a large, full smile, and the features of her face were dainty and defined and beautiful.  Jeweled braids fell precisely from her head and moved from side-to-side as she walked. 

    I began to ask her questions.  She would just look at me and smile. So I tried harder with hand motions and drawing pictures in the air.  But again, just a smile. 

    I asked her if she wanted to come and sit beside me on the bricks that were stacked nearby for the new wall we were building.  She accepted, and we made our way over and had a seat.

    “My name is Imelda”, she whispered.

    “What did you say?” I asked surprised that she spoke and making sure I heard her correctly. 

    “My name is Imelda”, she replied. 

    And she became my first friend in Burkina Faso. 

    That afternoon, sitting right there on those bricks, I painted Imelda’s nails.  I talked to her about school and her family and where she lived.  Her English was limited, but it was good enough to get to know a friend better. 

    Each day Imelda came to the LAC where we stayed.  She would ask one of the missionary children to go in and get me.  I would come out, and we would spend a little more time together.  It became our standard date.

    The day before we were leaving I had one of the missionary children translate for me that I was leaving the next day.  We took a picture together, and she asked if she could keep it.  I told her I had no way of making a copy of it, but that I would send a copy to her with the next team from our church that goes to Burkina Faso.

    Then she handed me this letter that she handwrote. 

    Not a day has gone by in the forty-six days since I left Burkina Faso that I have not thought about Imelda and her precious country.  Pockets of my days still get consumed with my memories, and I count up to see what time it is there, I imagine what they are doing, and I picture Imelda’s face.  But I remind myself that for them these are not memories.  This is their life that is continuing under that thick, hot sun and on that packed, hard dirt.

    Some often wonder why people would travel that far and spend such money when there are plenty of needs here.  And that is true.  There are plenty of needs here.

    But for me the answer is simple.  God knew I needed a friend named Imelda who lives in Burkina Faso.  He knew that only through that special friend, in that special country would my mind fully open to see his kind of love – a love so deep that he was willing to die for us just to claim us as his own. 

    God wants Imelda as his own.  God wants me as his own.

    Now, each day, she is a part of me.  I pray for her.  That she will know God’s love too. And eternity will be sweet as we sit in the sunlight and talk as I paint her nails. 

    My friend Imelda is important.  So I went to meet her.

    Please join me as I tell my story about visiting Burkina Faso, West Africa on a mission trip this past November. I am telling it slowly because a lot of emotions go into writing about the experience. Please join my story from the beginning here: Burkina Faso.
    To learn more about Burkina Faso, and the needs there, please visit Engage Burkina and Hope for Burkina.
  • How Understanding My Personality Made Me Feel Understood

    It started on Pinterest.  I’m semi-addicted.  Can you relate?  Each night now my wind down time is going through new pins of the people I follow to make sure I didn’t miss anything. 

    That’s when I saw this pin:

    275071489710186488_OyDE0NMo_b

    Really?  I am a INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) or I have introverted intuition with extroverted feeling. 

    But am I really artistic and creative?  Is my world full of hidden meanings and possibilities? 

    I have taken countless personality tests and temperament quizzes and spiritual gifts analyses.  I am quite in tuned with my inner self and the places I shine along with the places I hide.  So I thought . . . 

    I clicked over to the website just to see what else it had to say about this INFJ . . . and my mind came together to a single point.  Finally I made sense.  Everything written described me, even the innermost parts that I can’t verbalize.

    tumblr_llv7vjxEOK1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_llx32dOTGl1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_llx33h80VZ1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_llx34mbVOj1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_llx362KKET1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_ln9yqbSbDA1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_lnsgul3Y1W1qkzx40o1_500
    tumblr_loerpvG3iB1qkzx40o1_500

    But it’s what I read next that helped me to understand a struggle I have lived with for a long time – only 1-3% of people are INFJs

    You see, rarely do I feel understood.  Even as a little girl I felt like I lived in a different world with different thoughts and a different view than the people who lived around me. 

    I always felt different.  Probably not in an overtly weird way, even though I’m sure some people think I’m weird. I am able to mold myself pretty easily into what’s expected of me.  But in a something-just-isn’t-the-same-about-me way. 

    This affects my decisions. I’m always second-guessing myself.  It affects my convictions.  I care too much about what other people think of me.  It affects my relationships.  It is hard for me to accept that you really “get it”.

    I am exhausted living this way.

    My scavenger hunt on Pinterest led me to further “evidence” that I’m just as I should be – who God created me to be.  I’m a real personality – INFJ – and I’m unique – I’m one of 1-3%.  I have permission to continue being misunderstood or different or weird. Through it God wants to use me. 

    Now, go ahead, discover your personality type here
     Then, leave me a comment. 
    What is your personality, and does the description match your true self?