Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • Is God Punishing Me?

    Sometimes I live in a little place in my mind that’s really my favorite place to live.  In my place there are no cracks in the sidewalk, no dry land in the pond, nor gap on the bridge.

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Leland

    In my quiet place girls grow up and meet warriors and boys grow up and meet princesses who serve like Cinderella.  In this place in my mind who I was created to be is exactly who I become and the world is fulfilled because I am me.  Submission is easy because there is equal laying down of lives.  And children are secure because they are squeezed often and played with daily.

    My only problem is that I can’t live in this little place in my mind for long because before I know it I’m still single at 32, there are no children to squeeze, the world is demanding me be who it says I’m to be, and the doormat becomes my soul.

    I must have messed up.  That’s the first thought I think.

    If I had done things right or better or more completely then this little place in my mind would be the place I sit in every day – not just the one I visit.

    What went wrong? Is God punishing me?

    These thoughts rush through my mind often – too often – and I retrace every last footprint of my past trying to find the “what if” that could have saved me – could have made my life exactly how I dreamed.

    I’ve come to hold onto the truth that no “what if” could have saved me, but what’s being accomplished now is doing the saving.  Sure, some actions have consequences, but some do not.  Some are set into motion by this world, much bigger than myself, that is fallen and hurting and dying.

    So “what if not”?

    What if that wasp had not swooped down from the hanging cow bell and stung my ten-year old arm? Would I know now the pain of a sting?

    What if that boy had not said, “You have the biggest calves I’ve ever seen!”, as I sat in ninth grade homeroom?  Would I recognize a man who truly values me?

    What if I had not lost my sorority election for an officer position? Would I have learned that my identity is in Christ?

    What if I had not made any mistakes? Would I understand grace?

    “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20
    I still like to visit that little place in my mind, but I try not to live there, because that little place, it’s not a place on earth at all. It’s a dream – for now.  A place called heaven.  And right now, God has me here to accomplish what is now being done.
    Do you sometimes feel like you’re being punished by God?
    I would love to hear from you either by commenting below or emailing me at
    triplebraidedlife{at}gmail{dot}com.
    and
    Join me on Twitter and Facebook!
  • Waking Up Without a Dress :: Burkina Faso :: Day 3

    There were a sea of children when we drove up.  Running from all directions as if a bull-horn announced we were close two miles back. I wondered where they were coming from.  And where their mamas were. 

    They stood in a pack and stared.  Mesmerized.  And to me they looked like the way children truly want to be – no shoes, shirts untuck, red dirt caked to their knees and dusting their faces.  Not confined by time or space.  Enjoying the day of sunshine and warmth and digging in the dirt.  Except that for them I knew days like these are like most other days.  Here digging in the dirt isn’t something the mamas have to bribe their children to do like back home.  The dirt is the prized toy.

    There was one dress, though, different from all to others.  It was blue and silky made from chiffon or satin. The wide collar held embroidered flowers and pleats fell from the waist.  It was a fancy dress – a party dress.  It stood in front of the sea, torn and stained, full of work and fun, but still beautiful. 

    Her little nose needed wiping and her face needed cleaning, but she still looked like she was on her way to a party with those round cheeks and perfect, small braided tight against her little head.

    Little Girl in Blue Dress 104

    The next day just as expected.  Full of light and sounds of cock-a-doodle-doo.  The earth shows its glory no matter where it is positioned.  The sun rises just as bright and the sky hangs just as blue no matter what it’s shining upon. 

    The Bush - The Next Day

    The Bush - The Next Day 2

    The children came back the next day from wherever they were coming from.  Some ran through on their way to school with their lunch pails clanging against their legs as they ran.  Others just came to be with us for one more day. 

    I noticed her from afar as she walked up to where we were.  She could barely walk from holding her new dress off the ground. Pink and made of terry cloth covering only the essentials.  It was nothing like the party dress from the day before.  Today was different.

    Today it was just a towel.

    Look closely at her face.  Look closely in her eyes.  Does she know that today is different?  Does she know that she woke up without a dress to wear? 

    We had a little girl’s dress.  And we gave it to her. 

    But to her it didn’t matter.  Whether blue satin, pink terry cloth, or green cotton she treasured each of them as a blessing worthy of holding onto tightly.  They were all party dresses in her eyes.
    Do I look at all of God’s blessing as party dresses? 
    I think not. 
    Do you?
    Please join me as I tell my story about visiting Burkina Faso, West Africa on a mission trip this past November.  I am telling it slowly because a lot of emotions go into writing about the experience.  Please join my story from the beginning here: Burkina Faso.
    To learn more about Burkina Faso, and the needs there, please visit Engage Burkina and Hope for Burkina.
  • How I Learned to Run

    For twenty five years I have been learning to run. 

    When I was ten years old my best friend and I were in a children’s track club.  There is no telling how I ended up in a track club. I was the little girl who adamantly marched off the soccer field at five years old boldly declaring that she was never playing soccer again after falling in a mud puddle.  But somehow there I was in a track club with my taller, more slender best friend who looked liked a swan at any sport she played while I looked more like a waddling duck.  For the next seven years I have no recollection of running except maybe to get out of the rain or the cold.  The track club didn’t make me runner.

    Then this running-thing came up again when I was seventeen.  In the back of my journal I wrote, “become a runner” along with about ten other aspirations I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime.  Each morning a friend and I would run in our neighborhood.  It was hard.  And it was only about a mile.  But it didn’t last for long.  My journal didn’t make me a runner.

    Throughout college I ran off and on, but it wasn’t until after college that I became more serious about running.  If you want to call it serious.  I could finally run several miles – my farthest being seven.  Wow, did seven feel good.  I remember starting out on a seven-mile run one day and passing an old man.  He smiled and waved.  Then as I was on my way home, an hour later, he said, “You’re still running!”  Yes, yes I was, so proud while trying to stay humble.

    At one point in my twenties I got up to about nine miles.  That was the weekend I ran my first 15K.  But that’s as dedicated as I got. 

    Now it’s important to understand that I am not a running fanatic.  I have a serious love-hate relationship with running.  But the raw truth is

    • I am barely five feet tall.
    • I do not have skinny genes (nor jeans for that matter).
    • Cancer thinks it has been personally invited to a party with the women in my family.
    • And regardless of how sophisticated we get, exercise is still the best preventative medicine.

    So I taught myself to run. 

    At first it was a body game.  My heart and lungs did not want to run far.  And they let me know it.
    But very quickly running became more of a mind game. 

    Each time I would go out for a run I would keep my eyes focused on a place on the ground only a few feet in front of me.  I wouldn’t look far off into the distance.  This would just make my organs plead to stop.  Two miles ahead seemed impossible.  But two feet were right there.

    Then I started focusing on the mailboxes.  I would pass one and look three ahead.  “I can make it to that one”, I coached myself.  A few minutes later I was there.  “I can make it to that one”, I would pump myself up again.  And off I would go to the next one.

    Soon I was running miles. 

    This past September I ran my first half-marathon.  It took me twenty-five years to know what thirteen miles feels like.  I now wonder if it was more that my body couldn’t finish the race or if my mind wasn’t ready.

    As I begin this new year with my letter to Jesus and #oneword365, I hope to approach the year like I did running – fixing my mind on the landmarks that are right in front of me instead of the finish line that I cannot see yet because the finish line may take more than one year to get to.  My body may be ready for the whole race, but my mind has to get there too.

    How do you plan to “run the race” of 2012?
  • What It Takes to Make Your #OneWord365 Stick

    There’s a community on Twitter that I’m just joining this year.  It was probably around last year, but this year is my year to join.

    The #oneword365 community. One Word. One Year. One Theme.

    Deciding on my One Word wasn’t difficult.  I quickly thought of a word that I wanted my life to represent in 2012.  And it was good.  Maybe a little cliché, but definitely solid and admirable and something I need more of.

    On New Year’s Day I woke up early which is nothing new for me.  I’m an early bird more than a night owl any day of the week.  I poured coffee into the five-inch, wide-mouthed mug and sat down with my new 365 day Bible in my lap and my prayer journal on top.

    As I began to read and pray and study, the #oneword365 that I had chosen seemed exactly what I thought about it days earlier – a little cliché.  As I sat and listened a little longer a new word came to my mind.

    And so my second #oneword365 for 2012 was born.  I accepted this as the word God had given me.

    When John woke up I excitedly told him about my second one word for the year. He already knew about the first one.  He just looked at me with a look that had words painted right onto his face: “We’re not even seven hours into the new year and you’ve already changed your one word?  And you changed it to that?” And honestly, it was a little ironic.

    Sitting in church two hours later the pastor said, “Today we’re going to talk about Focus!”

    John and my eyes darted to each other.

    Focus.  My #oneword365!

    What It Takes to Make Your #OneWord365 Stick:

    1. Direction from God in choosing it.

    2. Wisdom on how to incorporate it into your life.

    3. Discipline to keep it in the forefront of your mind.

     

    What is your #OneWord365?  How did you choose it?
  • My Yearly Letter to Jesus

    Several years ago the idea just came to me. I did not see in a magazine or on a blog. I just decided that on January 1st I was going to write a letter to Jesus. 

    So I began to write. And I wrote and wrote and wrote. Four handwritten, computer-size pages later I finished. At the time I was a thirty-year-old single woman. And you know the exact words, bold and obvious, that danced around those pages. Who? Where? How? Why? . . . When?

    The words were my tears streaming down my face. 

    When I finished I folded the pages together and inserted them into a legal-sized envelope, wrote on the outside “My Letter to Jesus 2006”, and sealed it.

    A year letter I unsealed that small capsule of 2006, and read those words once again.  Strolling down the sententces of the past, some words created out loud laughter and others revealed the wet tear stains.

    Now, five years later, I still write a letter to Jesus every year.

    I encourage you to do the same.

    As you reread your letter a year later, it reminds you of two important attributes of God:

    God is sovereign.

    But he is also

    faithful.

    In my life so far, no year has left tear stains that are still sopping wet a year later until 2010.  That was the year the soil beneath my feet disintegrated right where I stood, and all that kept me from falling were the hands of Jesus.

    It was the year my husband was put on life support and underwent a heart transplant. Simultaneously in a hospital 350 miles away my mom laid dying of cancer.

    But as I read my letter from last year I am reminded of his hands. His hands formed with sovereignty and faithfulness. That kept me standing.

    As you write your letter:

    1. Thank God for the past year – for the good . . . and the bad.
    2. Tell him how you plan to grow closer to him in the new year.

    3. Ask him to show you where he wants to take you and to give you the courage to fall into his plan.

    What is one way God showed you his sovereignty and faithfulness this past year?
    Have you considered taking the No Dating Challenge?  Read why I think you should consider it here!
    And . . .
    What about life as a single woman makes you scream, cry, and pull your hair out??  I want to know!  Email me at triplebraidedlife{at}gmail{dot}com and share your thoughts!  I will use them for future post topics!
  • Take the One Year No Dating Challenge


    Have you ever thought about what it would look like if for one year you did not date – at all.  Not going on any dates, not even one, and even turning down dates if you have to?  Sorta like a fast, but I don’t want to use that word for fear of making it sound stuffy and formal and no fun.

    There is one of two thoughts going through your head right now:

    1. That’s easy.  I don’t date anyway!

    Or

    2. Turn down dates?  What if he’s the one?

    If there is one thing I wish I had done before I got married, this is it.  I first heard this idea of not dating for one year after I was married in a sermon by Andy Stanley.

    Well, I have to back up.  I actually probably did hear about it when I was single since I went to his church then and all, but I’m guessing that at the time I closed my ears quickly before the Holy Spirit felt like he needed to intervene.  Back then I was in a habit of closing my ears to anything I really didn’t want to hear.

    So what is the No Dating Challenge exactly?

    It is committing to yourself and to God that for one year you will not date. And it is using the time to grow your relationship with God, discover who you are in him, and learn about who he created you to be.

    So why take the No Dating Challenge?

    1. You learn where your worth truly lies.

    As women, we constantly have to fight the struggle in our minds about where our worth lies.  This is a struggle for all women – single, married, with or without children, with or without careers, etc.  The No Dating Challenge gives you the opportunity to set your mind (Colossians 3:5) on truth.

    2. You learn dependence on God.

    We know this as single women, but I don’t think we have a hard time believing it until we experience it ourselves: A man will never meet all your needs – spiritually, physically, financially, emotionally.  Even in the trenches of marriage and family life will you have to depend on God.  The No Dating Challenge requires you to depend on God for all of your needs.

    3. You learn to surrender.

    We want “happily ever after”.  We all do.  And I want it for you.  The great thing is that as Christians we will get it – but not here, not now.  Our “happily ever after” is in heaven.  When you get married, trials will come.  It is inevitable.  Trials of all kinds and all sizes.  Just like the trials you’re going through now as a single woman.  The No Dating Challenge helps you learn how to fall into his plan and surrender completely to him during this season of trials and future seasons.

    4. You break the idolatry.

    Oh, was marriage an idol for me!  I loved the idea of marriage more than I loved God most of the time I was single.  The No Dating Challenge makes God your idol because that’s who you are investing your life into.

    5. You heal through forgiveness.

    Some of you may not come from a place of past brokenness or regret.  Praise God for that!  But if you do it is time to accept God’s forgiveness, forgive yourself, and allow him to use it all for good.  The No Dating Challenge gives you time to heal and get healthy.

    6. You will be blessed.

    God will bless you abundantly for devoting your life to know him better so that you can make wise, healthy decisions and create a strong marriage and family to take into eternity.  Sounds big, doesn’t it?  It is.  The No Dating Challenge will bless you, your future spouse, and your future children.  Which, um, ultimately does affect eternity.

    But What if . . . ?

    I know what you’re feeling right now.  And I know what you’re thinking.  I would be thinking the same thing if I were you.  But I want you to ask yourself this question, “What is truly holding you back?”

    You know the answer.  I know the answer.

    Fear.

    You are afraid.  You are afraid that if you make the commitment you will miss out on the one God has for you.

    But let’s think. Is that even logical?  To miss out of the one God has for you? Do you think God would say, “Oh, too bad!  You missed your chance because you committed to me for a year! Better luck next time.  Maybe I’ll pass someone else by you in a few years!”

    Of course not.

    We think we’re in control.  We want to be in control.  But we’re not.  If we were we’d have perfect lives.

    So what do I say to a man if he asks me out?

    You tell him the truth.  You tell him that you would love to go out with him (if that’s true) in one year.  Because for one year you made a commitment to God to not date so that you can be all he created you to be – as a woman and as a wife.

    So what if he thinks I’m weird?

    It may sound a little weird. And to some people it will be. But to others it will be very appealing – a woman who is pursuing God above all else for one year? Wow! Remember that when you are dating it is very important that you are like-minded. If a man does not understand or thinks it’s weird, then that just gives you more information about him. More information for you to use to discern.

    So I’m challenging you. 
    Will you take the One Year No Dating Challenge?
    Pray about it, and see where God leads you.

     

    If he leads you to one year of no dating, grab a button!

     

    Triple Braided

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