Brenda Rodgers

Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • Joy in Tragedy

    Join me today for 5 Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama where we write for five minutes on a given topic. No editing. No criticism. No worry. Today’s topic is: Joy

    I can’t explain it.  There’s no way to.  It wasn’t from me.  I’ve not felt it since.  Well, not in the same way. 

    I stood at the fork in the hallway.  My husband was behind me in his hospital bed, and nurses surrounded him holding up his air supply and medicine bags as they rushed his bed up the hall.

    He was dying.

    I turned my head to the right to look at him one last time and down the opposite fork in the hallway he went – going to one last attempt – a surgery that could save him or that could take him Home.

    And in that moment it came.  Again it sounds quite ridiculous.  But I know it was real.  It was overwhelming.

    Joy.

    Do not get me wrong.  There was no happiness in my heart.  It was almost broken in two.  But the thing that kept it together was the gift of joy sent from Above.

    It was a joy that came from hope.  Hope that he may still live.  It was a joy that came from eternity.  Eternity where I will live with him forever.

    I have not met it since – that joy that is supernatural.  But even today I look for it and anticipate when we’ll meet again.

    ** I am following up with this note after I posted my entry to say that I wrote this before reading Lisa-Jo’s post about Sara.  What is miraculous to me is that I know now that the words and ideas I wrote were from God.  My confidence in joy has been confirmed again, and I thank you, Sara, for giving us a glimpse of what His supernatural joy is like.  Many blessings to you, and thank you Lisa-jo, for sharing.

  • White Shoes, Fake Rules, and Our Identity

    I walked into the closet this morning ready to pick out the perfect outfit for the day, and I grabbed a halter dress, light pink and white, since it is still 90 degrees here.  Then I quickly remembered, “Oh, I can’t where that dress today.  The shoes that I wear with it are white, and I can’t wear white shoes after Labor Day.”

    It made me start to think about this “white rule” that I have followed since I was a little girl.  No doubt it came from American aristocracy long ago to differentiate the “haves” and the “have nots”.  But still, here, in 2011, I follow it, and the thought of walking out of the house in September with white shoes on makes me scared.  Scared of what people would think.  Scared of how I’d be perceived.  Scared of my pretend identity becoming tarnished.

    There is no doubt the the rule about not wearing white shoes after Labor Day is probably more regional than anything, but down here in the heart of the South we take these things very seriously. 

    But don’t we all make up fake rules for ourselves and others to protect our pretend identity?

    We say things such as:

    • If you’re not married by thirty then something has to be wrong with you.
    • Only mothers who stay at home can truly love their children.
    • You have to home school or your children will turn into heathens.
    • Homemakers don’t live in the real world and are obviously privileged.
    • She must neglect her family if she has time to work-out.
    • Only a housekeeper could keep a home as clean as that. 
    • She doesn’t do anything at church, so she can’t be growing with Christ.
    • Her priorities are all wrong if she goes out of town on a girls’ weekend trip.

     The list goes on and on. 

    The culture that made up the rule about not wearing white after Labor Day is the same culture we live in today.  It’s the one that screams, “You’re not good enough the way you are, so you need to make up rules to make other people look worse in order to make yourself look better.” 

    We are sucked into these rules from the Enemy every time one of the statements above comes into our heads.  But God has a different set of rules.  His say that our sufficiency is of Him, our identity is in Him.  

     “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.”   2 Corinthians 3:5 (KJV)

    So will I wear white shoes after Labor Day this year?  I’m still not there yet.  But my white shoes have made me think and given me something to pray over – that my identity will be in Christ and Christ alone, not in rules from the Enemy. 

    Do you carry around fake rules with you that prevent you from seeing your true identity in Christ?
    Photo Credit: Creative Commons

  • Is God Your Magic Wand?

    Right now there are five prayers I want answered, and I want them answered now. Most of them are blessings that have me at the center of them with the long term vision of blessing my family, friends, and community.

    But I like easy. Easy makes me happy. Hard makes me squirm.

    So instead of rolling up my sleeves, putting on my work gloves, and getting a little dirt on my face, I turn to my make-believe God dust, take out my magic wand, and begin sprinkling cries and begs and pleads all over my requests. And I do it right from the cushion on my sofa.

    Then I wonder . . . why is God so quiet nowadays? Does He hear me? Does He not know that it is really for Him – His kingdom – and not me? Is He ever going to answer me? Does He even love me?

    God is not a magic wand and there is no such thing as God dust.

    A wise person told me recently that God wants us to use what is in our hands right now. Not a magic wand where all of a sudden everything we dream is before us, but the gifts, talents, and tools we’ve been provided. We’re not just to sit around and wait for miracle, but use what we have today in preparation for the manifestation of the miracle over time.

    Isn’t this what God instructed Moses to do?

    But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?”


    Then the Lord asked him, “What is that in your hand?” “A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied.


    “Throw it down on the ground,” the Lord told him. So Moses threw down the staff, and it turned into a snake! Moses jumped back.


    Then the Lord told him, “Reach out and grab its tail.” So Moses reached out and grabbed it, and it turned back into a shepherd’s staff in his hand.


    “Perform this sign,” the Lord told him. “Then they will believe that the Lord, the God of their ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—really has appeared to you.”


    Exodus 4:1-5

    Moses did not take out a magic wand, wave God dust everywhere, and magically deliver the Israelites out of Egypt.

    Instead God told him to use what was right there in front of him – his staff. His staff that was from God and for God. His staff that God used to carry out His purposes. His staff that was used to bring about the miracle.

    Each of us has a staff. God has equipped each of us, right now, with gifts, talents, and tools that we can use to accomplish His purposes for us.

    But will we use them? Or will we continue to sit back on our comfy sofas and wave our magic God wand in the air?

    Is God ever your “magic wand” or do you seek to use what He has provided you with today?
    Photo Credit: Creative Commons

  • Are the people in Burkina Faso happy?

    So. . . I am going to Burkina Faso, West Africa the day after Thanksgiving.  It will be my first mission trip.

    After seeing the word on the screen and then much rationalizing, fretting, crying, and fasting, God told me to apply for the trip, and my teenage prayer went unanswered.

    The only way I have grown to be o.k. with it is through the realization that my unanswered teenage prayer is my answered adult prayer, which leaves me amazed at God’s workings and His good in all things.
    __________________________________________________________________________________________

    A few weeks ago I walked into our first meeting about the trip with my eyes just as big as when I read the email that I was a part of the team going and with a heart just as full with fear, anxiety, and uncertainty.  I was fighting back tears.

    I immediately began to learn about the logistics of the trip – what we’ll wear, where we’ll sleep, what we’ll eat. 

    Then, I heard about the people in Burkina Faso along with their culture and their needs. 

    • The people are known as the Burkinabe. 
    • Their primary language is French (which I found interesting). 
    • Burkina Faso is one of the poorest countries in the world and has one of the highest illiteracy rates in the world. 
    • And one in three children die before the age of ten.

    For one or two nights we will sleep out in the bush.  We will sleep outside, and we will eat the meals that the Burkinabe women make for their family.  This is where we will help build a hanger to be used as a church, and this is also where wells are built so that there can be fresh water close to where the Burkinabe live.

    As the meeting wrapped up I began to hear about what it feels to be in a third world country, as an American, who in comparison has the world right here in my hands.  I watched a slide show with pictures of children and women and outdoor kitchens and huts.

    My mind was full.  “Please, just please tell me they’re happy.  Tell me they don’t know.  Tell me they don’t know the difference”, I thought as I sat there seeing slide after slide.

    So I asked, “Are the people in Burkina Faso happy?”

    The answer . . . “They are happier than anyone in this room.”

    If they are happier than I am, then what kind of happiness is mine?

    Is my happiness a facade covered up by convenience and objects and security and health?


    Is it possible for me to ever have their happiness – a happiness where every day you wake up and go about your daily tasks just to feed yourself – just to stay alive?


    Or the kind of happiness that you have despite knowing that your child may very likely die before the age of ten?

    Or the kind of happiness that when you ask a Burkinabe child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, he replies, “I want to be a doctor so that I can come back home to Burkina Faso and help my people.”

    I suspect that their source of their happiness comes from a deep appreciation for things that give life and receive life. I don’t seek happiness in these things.  I seek happiness in things that don’t give life – in things that prevent me from experiencing the abundant life.

    This is why God is sending me to Burkina Faso.  

    My mind cannot wrap itself around this kind of happiness.  And until I get a glimpse of it, I will never understand all that God has in store for me.  I will never understand His heart.

    You may enjoy reading my story to Burkina Faso from the beginning:


    Please join me in praying for the people in Burkina Faso, West Africa and read more about Engage Burkina here.

    Do you think you have the same kind of happiness as the people in Burkina Faso?


  • Uncovering the Real Life

    Join me today for 5 Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama where we write for five minutes on a given topic. No editing. No criticism. No worry. Today’s topic is: in Real Life

    There’s a struggle going on, deep inside this life of mine.  A struggle of two lives both wanting to be known.  

    One is all you see, clean and fresh and new.  It’s the fake life that from your bird’s eye view there’s security, peace, and wholeness.  The band-aid does its job here, covering all the yuck, but deep inside revelation oozes out the sides.

    The other one is secretly hidden, behind that band-aid that makes everything look good and fresh.  It’s where  the scars lies – scars from the bruises, caused from the pain.  The band-aid is my mask hiding my real life in fear.  Fear from what you’d think if it was no longer there.

    But in this secret place my real life’s face is here.  And pulling back the band-aid is where my healing begins.  I reveal my scars to you, and in return you show me yours.  The air surrounds the wounds, and our a bond of trust if formed.  The revelation becomes our protection from the unwanted thoughts.  You grow through me.  I grow through you.

    And our real lives get their voice.



    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Stephanie in love

    Do you feel more at peace uncovering your “real life”?


  • Football Season VS My Marriage


    In an earlier post I mentioned that my husband introduced himself to me by saying, “Don’t bother inviting me to a wedding on a Saturday in the fall because I won’t be there!”  

    I know what you’re thinking.  How could he have gotten away with such a rude opening line?  Well, that was his tag line on Match.com.  Yes, we met online, so now I am a walking success story that it did work for me.  (However, I do have a lot to say about online dating – Christian online dating – but that will have to be another story for another day!)  

    So, when John said that nothing would stop him from watching football on Saturdays – even something as important as a wedding – he meant it.  I came to realize that real fast.

    We got married in June.  The next September my best friend since third grade (we were then 32 year old) got married.  And of course I was in the wedding.  So here we go.  She got married in the fall, during football season, on a Saturday, and to top it off during one of the biggest games of the season – the UGA VS Alabama game!  

    Thus brings John’s and my first . . . real . . . big . . . fight! 

    Now, back during our dating days we talked about the whole Saturday, fall rule, and I did agreed that we would reserve Saturdays for football with the one caveat that if my brother (who was unmarried at the time) or my best friend got married on a Saturday in the fall we would have to go.  But really!  Who would have ever thought that one of these two scenarios would actual take place?  We didn’t, so we both put on our “that will never happen to us blinders” and went on our merry, happily dating way.  

    Now the rings were on, there was no turning back, and here we were . . . in the biggest fight!  OVER FOOTBALL?  WHAT?  

    Since that fight I have come to some conclusions about football and my marriage. 

    I cannot honestly say that I understand the whole football obsession thing because I don’t. 

    I cannot honestly say that I don’t sometimes get resentful when it’s October and football has been on the T.V. for six weeks straight because I do.

    I cannot honestly say that I always agree with revolving our schedules around football because I don’t.

    However, I do try to embrace it.  Why?  Because it is important to John, I love him, and I love him more than allowing it to become a wedge between us.

    So here are some thoughts that help me:

    1. I knew it going in.  I know this is not always the case.  I learn more about John everyday, and some things I did not know before we got married.  But this I did know.  I knew it was a part of him (which I talked about here). And I knew it was a part of the “deal”.  For me to then become a nag over football after getting married is manipulative.  And I don’t want to be manipulative.  I agreed to this, and so I must accept it.

    2. I am grateful that I can participate with him.  We go to all of the home UGA football games in the fall, and I am so grateful that John has a hobby that we can do together.  A lot of men like to hunt or play golf, both of which I couldn’t do or would really, really not want to do!  So I focus on the fact that college football is a time I get to spend with him.  We have made so many wonderful memories in Sanford stadium! 

    3. I choose to embrace all of him.  Again, I have a choice.  I can either bicker and whine and nag and pretty much make life miserable for everyone (which we all know, ladies, that we can do at times!), or I can make it fun – for everyone!  I choose to make it fun.  On the Saturdays that we are at home I try to make special snacks, do a little decorating, and use college football Saturdays as a good excuse to do the things I like to do (like cook, bake, and decorate) but don’t always have a reason to do.

    4. I can’t change my husband.  Only God can.  I don’t want John to be better off living on a corner of the roof! (Proverbs 21:9) So when I feel resentful or angry or that things are unfair, I try to take all of that to God in prayer instead of being a “quarrelsome wife”.  I know that God will reveal to John, and me, the decisions we need to make about our family and our priorities.  It is not my job to demand those decisions in an argumentative way based on my understanding alone.  

    So what about the fight we had over football and my friend’s wedding three months after our wedding?

    We compromised.  Yes, we did it.  It was not easy for either one of us and especially not for John, so I am very proud of him!  He did not go to the football game.  Instead he went to the wedding and part of the reception.  Our compromise was that he could be in front of a T.V. at kickoff.  So he left early from the reception, and I stayed for the whole thing.  

    On a side note, UGA lost bad, embarrassingly bad, that night to Alabama.  So the sting of not being there in person ended up being a little less painful!

    How do you survive your husband’s favorite hobbies?  
    Please tell me your thoughts!