Brenda Rodgers

Author: Brenda Rodgers

  • Ever Since . . .

    There is not an event in my life that I have talked about with someone every day for a year.  That is until the day Things Began to Change.

    Ever since I have talked about the events, the emotions, the miracles – recounting every image, every thought, every fear, every blessing – on my husband’s journey to a heart transplant over and over and over again.

    Sometimes the discussion begins as a question:

    “What did I say when I first woke up?”

    “When did you first find out I was matched with a heart?”

    “How long did my heart stop in the elevator?”

    “Why did they tell you I might not wake up?”

    “Who called you when I went into Arrhythmia?”

    Sometimes the discussion begins as a story:

    “You were so determined to get out of the ICU, you refused to eat until they let you out!”

    “I asked them to page everyone I knew at the hospital when they told me you had to go on life support – the physician’s assistant, the social worker, and the chaplain.  Then I sat with the chaplain and cried, ‘I didn’t have enough faith.’”

    “Some days you were less than cooperative, but I just told the nurses that was your fight to live.”

    “Every night before I went to sleep I called your nurse one last time to check on you.”

    “I was sitting on the bench outside the elevator when Dr. Simeone walked by and said, ‘I think we have a heart.’”

    Sometimes the discussion begins as a memory:

    “This is the path I walked from my hotel every day to get to the hospital.”

    “As I turned the corner at 1:00 in the morning, there you were with breathing tubes down your throat for the first time.”

    “I played for you Mighty to Save as we waited for you to wake up.”

    “I was in my hotel room when I got the call.  ‘He nodded for the first time.’”

    As I live the same days and months that I lived last year, with the only difference being one more digit at the end of the year, I remember those days with the same clarity as if they were today.  I can hear the beep, beep, beep of the machines in John’s room.  I can smell my hotel room.  I can see John’s sweet face crying out for relief.  I can feel the peace that God gave me.

    In those days I prayed, “God whatever happens, may you get the glory.  Whether you take him home or leave him here with me, may people come to know you through this story.”

    I never get tired of telling the story. 

    I have told it ever since, and I hope to tell in forevermore.

  • Mark Richt is Weird!

    Mark Richt is weird.  I want to be weird, too.

    That is weird in the God way.

    Recently I heard about this new book called Weird: Because Normal Isn’t Working by Pastor Craig Groeschel, but had not read it or heard too much about it.  Then I watched a few video clips on Lysa TerKeurst’s blog featuring Craig Groeschel.  Shortly after that my friend, Laura, told me about his sermon series entitled “Weird” and how it was a must hear.  After that I had to find out more.  So for the next several days I listened to my IPod every chance I got to learn how to become “Weird”.  The longer I listened the weirder I wanted to become and the more secure I became in the ways that I am already considered weird.  I talked about being weird so much that my husband never wanted to hear the word again.
    “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.”
    John 15: 18-19

    This morning as I was reading through Twitter I saw this article about Mark Richt, the head coach of our beloved Georgia Bulldogs football team, and I was inspired to become weird all over again.  In this article, Mark Richt talks about his decision to sell his second home on the lake to use his money for “eternal things”.  From the perspective of the world that is definitely weird.

    Of course some will say that it is to make a decision like that when you have so much money to begin with, but as Christians we know that actually the opposite is true.  The more we have the harder it is to trust God by giving it away.  The more we give away the more we are entrusting to God.  And ultimately the harder it is to be weird in a God way.
    This is not just true of money.  It is also true of all our resources – our time, our intellect, our thoughts.  The more I have of me – what I want, what I think – the less I have of God.  I put myself in God’s place which only leads to unrest.
    “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
    Romans 12:2
    As Christians we also know where the source of our peace comes from – the kind of peace that others wonder about and question.  It comes from this whole idea of being weird and the weirder we become the more of God’s peace we will experience.  When I live by God’s plan I experience what most people in the world do not – peace.  Why would I continue to do the same things I’ve done to be normal when normal has left me no better off – only still questioning how to find peace?
    “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
    Philippians 4:7

  • How My IPhone Helped My Prayer Life

    It wasn’t until this time last year that I realized the weight that the words, “I’ll pray for you”, had for a person who was on their knees in desperate agony crying out and begging for prayer.  This is the week last year that my reality truly set in as my husband and I spent an entire seven nights in the hospital as he prepared to be listed for a heart transplant.  My need for prayer grew to be so desperate that became very sensitive when I heard the words, “I’ll pray for you.”  I wanted prayer for John so desperately that I was willing to pay for them (see my blog post Pay for Pray), but I didn’t have time for empty words.  I rather not hear the words at all then to hear them and have no prayers lifted up to God – the only one who could heal him.  I did not need flippant encouragement.  I needed a miracle.

    Throughout our journey I reflected often on how I respond to the needs for prayer that surround me.  My reflection was very convicting.  Sometimes I am the person who offers flippant encouragement without honest intercession to our Heavenly Father.  With great intentionality I began to observe and seek the needs of people with whom I come into contact.

    Wow, were the burdens great!  As I sought the prayer needs of others my list kept growing and growing and growing!  I would have to become a nun to have time to pray for all the needs that surrounded me!  But the thought of not praying for these needs saddened me greatly.  What if no one else was praying for them? 

    In an effort to lift up in prayer the needs of so many people I did two things.  First, I became more aware of the Holy Spirit’s prompting of who He is calling me to prayer for.  I read, “If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans” Romans 8:26 (The Message).  I tried to not allow my perfectionistic tendencies trap me into making prayer legalistic – like if I don’t pray for this list of people something bad is going to happen – as if I am in control.

    The other thing I did is more practical.  I decided to make a prayer calendar.  I assigned people and needs certain days of the week.  Some prayers are ongoing and never ending.  Some are more than one day a week.  Some are just for a season, but each day I have a list of people that need prayer.  I wanted this list to be with me at all times so that I can quickly refer to it wherever I am, so I decided to put the list on the calendar in my IPhone.  I programed the list to display all day instead of certain times during the day so that I could see them all at once. 

    For me this has been so helpful!  I feel like I am honoring God with prayers like I wanted in my great time of need without the burden of who or when or how long or how often.  I know now that each person has their special day or days, and on those days my prayers will be specific and thoughtful.

  • Dear Mom,

    I remember Mother’s Day last year like I just sealed your card and dropped it in the mail this morning.  I did not get to see you on the actual day, so I enclosed a picture of your gift.  You went on and on about how much you loved it.

    It is hard for me to accept that I am celebrating this Mother’s Day without you. 

    I feel like an orphan.

    Not a day goes by that scenes from my life with you do not penetrate my mind.  They are random and unpredictable.  They come at the most unexpecting times with no connection to my present activity or place.  They are my mental home movies that I have no control over.

    Sometimes they leave me smiling.  Sometimes they leave me sad.  Sometimes they leave me shameful.

    Since you have left this earth I have asked the question,“Is it possible to purely appreciate someone while they are still here?” 

    I do not know the answer.  I know, though, that since the last time I saw you I have grown to appreciate you more than I ever did before. I hate that.

    I want you back so that I can appreciate you more.

    You taught me that in every life circumstance there is a lesson.  This is the lesson you have left me.  Most of the time I still do not get it right.  I do not know if I ever will until I am glorified with you in Heaven.

    But for now I continue striving towards appreciating the people I love, holding on to each moment, and relishing in the time I have with them.

    Thank you, Mom, for each of the home movies I still have of you, and for the lessons you have taught me. I wait with eager anticipation to spend an eternity of Mother’s Days with you in  Heaven.

    I love you,
    Brenda

    “May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”
    Ruth 2:12

  • 65 Days to Reshaping It All

    Last night my husband and I discussed Memorial Day plans for the first time.  Of course our tentative plans include the way most other families celebrate Memorial Day – with the first break out of the swimsuit!  My anxiety immediately shot up. 

    The fact that summer is upon us and that I inevitably will be going to the pool soon has been on my mind, but I have been famously procrastinating.  Back in January it was, “Oh, I have five months”, then it was “Oh, I still have six weeks”, and now it is here.  It always amazes me how time to get in shape sneaks up on me.

    At the same time I often wonder if I will ever be in a place where food and exercise isn’t something I have to think about with a whole lot of deliberation.  Will I ever get to a place where it isn’t a start and stop with each passing season and year?  Will I ever get to a place where it is just a natural part of who I am?  Will I ever be free from the bondage of planning my meals, thinking about food, dreaming about food, counting calories, and dreading exercise?  My mind has always been in turmoil over something that God created to sustain me, not hold me captive. 

    After church today I came home again thinking about what yummy thing I’m going to have for lunch, and as I went through my Twitter feed I saw this . . .

    I have been eyeing Candace Cameron Bure’s (yes, from Full House) new book for a few weeks, but haven’t purchased it yet to read.  Now is the perfect time.  It is a New York Times Best Seller, and I am excited to take this challenge to work out this body and mind that God has given me so that I can honor Him with both the way He desires!

    
    Join me over with 65 Days to Reshaping It All at Reshapingitall.com.

  • My Nose Is Too Big!

    I have been blessed with a husband whose primary love language is “words of affirmation”, and even though he feels most loved when he receives encouraging words, he also does a wonderful job of modeling how to show love through encouraging words.  This is great for me because I cannot tell you how many times a day he says things to me like, “You are so pretty!” or “I just love looking at you!” or “I am so proud of you!”

    Two nights ago I had gotten home later than usual and John says to me, “You are just so cute.  I want to take your picture!”

    I precede to say, as he reaches for his phone, “Well, I don’t have any more makeup on.”  He didn’t care.  I stood in front of the window, and he took a picture of me.

    Immediately I said, “Let me see!”  He showed me the picture, and without another thought I said, “Oh, my nose is too big!”

    In that moment John stopped and looked at me dead in the face. 

    “Don’t say that”, he said with a firm tone without even blinking.

    It was as if I had offended him.  Something that he saw beauty in I was degrading.

    I couldn’t help but feel my spirit being pricked.  That is what God must feel when I say degrading things about His creation.  Every time I say something negative about myself, He must look at me and think, “Don’t say that.”  It’s literally taking a masterpiece that He, God, created and finding fault in it.  How could there be anything faulty about something God created?

    John’s simple comment helped me to remember that even though I see imperfections, God sees a masterpiece, and a nose that is perfectly sized just the way He designed it to be.