I am quite familiar with feeling left out. So when a young reader asked this question at MoretoBe.com, I knew exactly what I would tell her.
“What do you do if you always feel out-of-place when you’re with your friends and whatever you do, you still feel left out?” (more…)
Valentine’s Day is not my favorite holiday. Never has been. It seems to bring a lot of expectation without much delivery. I mean, the colors are perfect. Pink and red are my favorites. But honestly that’s about it. The season’s all wrong, the candy’s not that great, and it’s quite exculsive – a snob-holiday, if you will.
The Valentine’s Day inner-circle says that unless you’re dating someone or married you’re not invited to the party – no Valentine’s Day for you. Just turn on the T.V. or walk through the mall. Everyone is trying to sell you something to make your night more romantic.
As a single woman I was not a part of the Valentine’s Day inner-circle. Except for the year I was engaged, I can’t remember having a date on Valentine’s Day. The only cards and candy I received were from my first graders whom I taught. And maybe my mom.
I am beyond excited to introduce you to my dear online friend – Emily Enockson! Emily and I served as co-leaders for a one of (in)courage’s online community groups for single women a few years ago. Emily is who I wish I was when I was a single woman! She is living an abundant life as a single woman through work, ministry, serving, and hospitality. Emily is full of joy and teaches me so much! I asked her to share with you today the importance of hospitality for a single woman and how she does it. So sit back and enjoy Emily’s words! And be sure to check out her blog! She is a wonderful example for all single women!
Last Spring when I moved into a little cottage on the lake, my prayer was that it would be a place of respite to all who entered. God has answered this prayer beyond what I could ask or imagine. Often after I’ve hosted a dinner party or had a friend stay for the weekend, I’ll receive a thank you note. Yet, it feels like I’m the one who has been given the greatest gift. Through opening the door of my home, God has revealed His perfect love and grace to me. When my fresh raspberry scones turn blue or the dishes are piled high in the sink and company is 1 hour early, God gently reminds me that His grace is sufficient in weakness. God’s unconditional love is shown through conversation, tears, and truth spoken in my tiny but lovely living room.
The art of hospitality and homemaking can often be pushed aside until someone is married. However, we are all created for community, to live life along side of people. Single, married, extrovert, introvert, student, or professional –we are all called to pursue hospitality.
1 Peter 4:9-10 says “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God’s varied Grace.”
Hospitality literally means “fond of guests”. Did you catch that? Fond of guests, not perfect table linens or scented candles. It can be easy to result to the trap of comparison and invite a new friend to Starbucks, instead of into your home. However, something unique happens when we choose to invite someone into our homes (dust bunnies and all!). I have found that conversation is a little deeper, truth a little more clear and the laughter louder when we are at home.
In this passage we are not just encouraged to welcome people into our homes cheerfully, but to use our unique gifts to serve others. If you have a heart for young women consider hosting a Bible study, or if you are a talented cook invite neighbors over for a delicious homemade meal. Hospitality may look different for everyone, but the common thread is the focus is on the relationship and not the rushing. Friend, whatever season you are in I encourage you to take a step of faith and cheerfully practice the art of hospitality. Remember, the goal of hospitality is not perfection, it’s showing grace and love to each other.
Grace Notes: A few simple times that encourage GraceFull Hospitality.
Invite a friend over for a cup of tea and conversation. Focus on getting to know her more NOT whether your house looks perfect.
Next time you bake something, double the recipe and share it with your neighbors. You never know what God-moments may happen.
At your next dinner party, ask guests to bring a favorite appetizer or dessert. Less time in the kitchen doing prep work means more time with your guests, plus you may discover a new favorite!
Do a quick clean up on Sunday night, you’ll be able to welcome unexpected guests to your home, with joy and peace. Remember it doesn’t have to be PERFECT to be beautiful.
Hi friend, I’m Emily and I blog at www.AGraceFullHome.com. I am a 20-something, vintage-loving, book devouring, midwestern girl who depends on God’s grace daily. I am learning every day to live abundantly for Christ by serving my family in caring for my sweet sister who has special needs and helping start a non-profit nature based respite program for children with special needs. My hearts desire is to encourage women that life does not have to be perfect to be beautiful.
Do you practice hospitality often? Do you like it? What is the hardest part for you?
I want to encourage you to have some girlfriends over this Valentine’s Day! God doesn’t want us to live defeated but to live full of His presence! There’s no reason you can’t have a memorable, fun Valentine’s Day right where you are! Need some tips to get started? Check out this post: Fall in Love with Your Life.
In preparing to write this post, I just did some keyword research on Google for the word “etiquette”. The graph below is what I found. But I have to wonder, even though interest in etiquette has decreased, is etiquette no longer relevant in today’s culture? (more…)
It’s day 10 of the series 31 Days of Lessons Learned from My 20’s. Today, however, I’m also guest posting at DevotionalDiva.com. It’s probably the most transparent post I’ve ever written, and there’s several lessons from my 20’s in it too. I hope you’ll check it out.
If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.
It’s kind-of cliché, I know, but you’ve heard the old saying “Boyfriends come and go but friends will be friends forever”. Well, it’s pretty much true. That is if you keep your friends around.
The other day on Facebook I asked my readers what’s one lesson they learned in their 20’s. One of my college sorority sisters responded. She wrote,
“I would have put more effort into my friends and less into boyfriends…so many relationships with girlfriends faded that I miss”.
Yes, I thought, yes! Me too!
I didn’t date a lot at all in college, at all, so I can’t say that during those four years I put more effort into boyfriends. It was after college for me.
After college I started dating this boy. This boy God told me was not the one. But I kept dating him anyway.
When it ended four years later (another lesson for another day – almost never date for four years!) – I didn’t have a big network of friends. I hadn’t kept up with my friends from college. All I had was life with this boy.
God created us for community. We are not meant to do life alone. Think about it? Did Jesus do life alone? No, He found 12 close friends to do life with.
The same is true for us.
Even if you’re single, you’re not meant to do life alone.
When the day comes, and your prince pops the question, it won’t be half as fun as if you have friends to share it with.
And then when you look down and see two little pink lines on a plastic stick telling you you’re going to be a mom, you’ll want someone to answer the phone and hear your news – then throw you a shower.
When you’re husband gets sick – like really, really sick – you’ll want a friend’s shoulder to cry on in the hospital courtyard.
Or when that same husband makes you so mad you feel like you’re going to get in the car and drive until you reach the ocean, you’ll want a friend to speak truth to you and tell you not to leave.
And before all of this, when that boy you’re spending too much time with is really nothing more than bad news, you’ll want a friend to be honest with you.
I know it’s common and quite ordinary for girls to drop their friends when they start dating someone seriously. But resist the urge. Not only will you miss your friends when they’re gone, but maintaining healthy friendships helps you to resist the urge to move too quickly or make that boy an idol.
Just trust me on this one.
How do you maintain friendships while dating?
So I’ve been talking about friendship the past two days, and I’m giving away a copy of Shelley Hendrix’s book Why Can’t We Just Get Along? because it’s been beyond helpful recently with some friendship struggles!! Click over here and be sure to enter to win!!
My roommate and I graduated college together and then decided to be roommates in graduate school, too. We both moved from our small college in Macon, Georgia to the big University of Georgia in Athens the summer after our senior year. With our newly earned degrees in early childhood education in hand, we started looking for teaching jobs. That summer there weren’t many. So we both ended up teaching at the same school – 45 minutes away.
Our lives were pretty much identical and because of circumstances, we were mostly inseparable. We rode to work together in the mornings, saw each other in the hallways during the day, rode home in the evenings, and then went to night classes.
But there was one big difference. She had a boyfriend who she’d dated for years. I wanted a boyfriend.
I remember the Monday morning she came into the teacher workroom after a weekend at her parents. I was at the copy machine making copies for the week. I knew what I was going to see when I turned around. I don’t remember how – I knew just that I knew. I think she might have even told me the night before on the phone.
I turned around, and she put out her hand. It was big and shiny and emerald cut. It was gorgeous. She was getting married.
That is my most vivid memory of deep-seeded, rotten jealousy within me. Later I cried. I apologized. I asked for forgiveness. But our friendship was never the same.
I want to tell you that it’s not between friends in the church, “Christian friends”, and that it only exist “on the outside”. But from my present experience there’s more jealousy, envy, competition between my Soul Sisters than between other friends. And guess what it’s over of all things . . .
Who’s involved in the most ministries at church, who’s in the “cool church group”, who’s a leader, who has the godliest husband.
And it’s in blogging ministry, too. If you’re in this big world of online ministry you know it’s rampant.
It’s there. And it’s sad. And it’s killing friendships.
The killing is very subtle. I’m not sure that we Soul Sisters even know we’re jealous of each other. But it comes to the surface through the slip-in comments that are only slightly cutting so no one recognizes them or the asking of question after question, not out of genuine concern, but to have more information to compare and get jealous over.
I guess this post is a kind-of-pleading to my Soul Sisters and maybe it can become a pleading to yours, too.
And maybe yours isn’t over ministry.
Maybe it’s over your friend getting married before you or having the baby you want or going on date-nights once a week or fulfilling her true calling.
You know those friendships that just kind-of dissolve and you’re not real sure how or why? One minute you’re praying together, spending time together, carrying each other’s burdens, and the next minute you realize you haven’t talked in months?
You may not even recognize it, but something deep within your souls created a wedge. You forgot that we are the Body of Christ – all different parts working together. You forgot that we are each fulfilling our own specific purposes for God’s kingdom. And you forgot that Satan is having a hay-day by separating us.
So friends, today, let’s look at our friendships. Examine our hearts. Ask God to search us (Psalm 139: 23-24 ) And ask Him to forgive us for our jealousy. Then let’s makes some phone calls.
I’ll be doing the same.
