Brenda Rodgers

Category: community

As girl moms, it’s important that we continue to grow ourselves becoming more like Jesus and of course stronger in who we are in Him. One part of growth is being strong in our community relationships.

  • Are Mommy Bloggers Contributing to a Homemaker Culture of Perfectionism?

    Just now I looked to see how my pages I “liked” on Facebook. I follow 396 pages. I’m actually embarrassed to admit that. That’s a lot of pages. Most of those pages are blog fan pages, and most of those blog fan pages are from the blogs of my friends.

    I’m on Facebook a lot. Mainly because that is where the writing/blogging groups I’m in “meet” – they meet on Facebook. I actually read more blog posts from Facebook pages than I read from the blog site itself. Yes, I’m slightly addicted.

    I love blogging and even more so writing. I love my blog friends. I love reading their posts. I love their ministries and businesses. They are really, really good at what they do, and they are doing a great job. They are providing for their families. They are raising up young moms through their instruction. They are helping marriages thrive.

    But I’ve noticed a trend with bloggers – you may call them mommy bloggers because they mostly write on motherhood, homemaking, and marriage – and this is it: As a reader, I’m being dropped off at the ideal without being taken through the grace.

    Are mommy bloggers contributing to a homemaker culture of perfectionism?

    A Trend I See with Mommy Bloggers
    Image courtesy of koratmember/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

    The other day I painted my toenails for the first time since my baby was born – seven months ago. Not ten minutes later I was on Facebook and the question popped up, “Do you use toxin-free nail polish to paint your nails?” It was followed by a question on a separate blog fan page – “Do you use a dishwasher or wash your dishes by hand?”

    Quite possibly it’s my own insecurity, but when I see a post about toxins in fingernail polish or asking whether I use a dishwasher, I want to throw my hands in the air and scream, “I give up! I’ll never be good enough!”

    I think of the single woman who’s raising her children on her own or the woman who wants to be a full-time homemaker but her husband doesn’t agree or the one who’s single and just wants to be married. How are they feeling? Do they feel like they can’t measure up in this seemingly perfect homemaker culture?

    I also wonder if there’s a back-story. Actually, I know there’s a back-story. I’ve lived long enough now to know that everyone, and I mean everyone, has a back-story because we’re all just that fallen. So what is it? What’s the back-story? I’m exposed to the ideal, but where is the grace?

    I want to know about the grace.

    The grace-filled story is where the power of Jesus lives. The power that changes perception and gives us truth – that only through Him are we ever enough.

    I want to read about the woman who can’t afford toxin-free nail polish and doesn’t have time to wash dishes by hand – along with how to do these things. That’s what I want.

    We write about how Pinterest and Facebook and Twitter and Instagram are all making us crazy with comparison and this perfect picture and how we feel like we won’t ever measure up. But are we as bloggers contributing to the problem?

    And I could be just as much to blame. I don’t know what people think when they see a Facebook update from my blog fan page. But I hope they don’t perfection because perfection isn’t here. Perfection is no where near this broken-soul of a woman who each day realizes more and more and more and more that she is completely nothing without the Cross. Each day my life depends more than the previous on Jesus’s grace.

    Grace to get up out of the bed in the morning after being up with my baby a few times during the night. Grace for when my husband’s pants for work aren’t washed by the time he needs them – again. Grace for ordering take out three nights in a week.  Grace for the professional baby pictures we spent tons of money on that still aren’t hanging on the wall. Grace for not reading to my baby for the fourth day in a row when I’m the reading teacher – I know better!

    In my world, it’s nothing but grace. So I want more of the grace – the real, the messy, the mistakes, the out-of-control, the humanness – along with the picture-perfect.

    I want more of Jesus.

     

  • A Little Community of Mosaics {and the (in)RL Conference}

    The Mosaics came together by accident really. We all wanted to do this blogging thing right, and the experts said that a mastermind group was the way to go. So we set out to do just that. We met in a private, online group, about ten women who had never met, to learn about blogging, build a platform, and help each other out. The funny thing is I can’t really remember a time when that’s what we were about. Or when the shift occurred. Or even if there was a shift.

    Before I knew it I was running to my computer to type out a prayer request. Not just any prayer request, either, I heart-felt, secret-type of prayer request. In only seconds responses poured through our little secret group. The Mosaics picked up my burden. They began praying. My circumstance began changing.

    And so it continued. This small community of women, prayer warriors, sitting in homes in every corner of the country pouring out love for almost-complete-strangers.

    Our name became our identity. Mosaics for Him – pictures for Him, of Him – because after all, God designed community. Way back when in that perfect Garden He created someone to pour out His love onto. Then He created another and another, eventually wanting community so much that He sent His One. All so we could be in community with Him.

    We are all Mosaics – pictures of community with our Creator. We were made for community.

    (in)RL Logo

    Community is messy and hard and sometimes not easy to come by, but it is necessary and essential and God-created. We live in a time when community is the hardest and yet the easiest all bundled together as one. (in)Courage helps to make it easier. (in)Courage is an online community for women. It is a mosaic of how God intended our lives to be lived – together – laughing, loving, praying, weeping, carrying one another’s burdens.

    I want to invite you to a place where you can find community right where you are. It’s where the hard part of reality meets the ease of online and women come together in-real life. It’s the (in)RL Conference, and it’s free and happening all over the world – literally – on April 27th! 

    The (in)RL Conference is where women connect online and come together in-real life for a day of relaxing, laughing, eating, and learning a little more about doing community – the community God intended, with Him and with each other. It’s like a retreat that you don’t have to travel far away to attend!

    You can register for (in)RL here, and find a meetup near you here. I will be attending (in)RL in North Carolina. I’d love to meet you there!

    If you have any questions about (in)RL, please let me know!

    Did you attend (in)RL last year? If so, what was your experience? 

  • Did I Marry the Wrong Person?

    The thought first entered my mind two weeks after the wedding.

    I sat on the edge of the bed in the Extended Stay hotel and wished I was Dorothy. Three clicks of my heels just might deliver me back into the one-bedroom apartment I lived in three weeks earlier.

    In one month we had gotten married, moved to a new state for the first time – ever – for both of us, bought a house, sold a house, and were starting new jobs.

    Now we were living in an Extended Stay as we waited to move, and we were also having our first fight – over coffee, of all things.

    I made a mistake. I chose poorly. I married the wrong person.

    These were the thoughts running through my head. But now I was married. There was no do-over this time.

    Yesterday I was over at Intentional by Grace sharing this story and what I have since learned from it. Continue over there to read whether I truly did marry the wrong person. 

    Did I Marry the Wrong Person?

    Image courtesy of arztsamui/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  • Are You Too Introverted for Community?

    I was made to be a stay-at-home-mom. Since our baby girl was born I have gone days without leaving the house, or even going outside. Yes, you read that correctly. Days. And you know what? It hasn’t really even bothered me.

    I love being in my house, just me and my baby. Rocking. And feeding. And reading. And rocking.

    From the outside it might look like I have the patience of Job – to be able to sit in that rocker in her room for as long as she needs me to. But really it has less to do with patience and more to do with just the way I’m made.

    Or maybe half-way made.

    I like to blame not calling my friends or making a coffee date or reaching out on my introversion – the way God made me. But I was reminded just tonight as I read chapter two of Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson that I am only half-way made an introvert. The other half is in desperate need for community.

    We are all made for community. God exemplifies this through Himself, His Son, and His Spirit.

    So, yes, I love those quiet moments in my house. Rocking my baby. For hours. That’s where my introverted heart is nourished.

    But out in community is where my heart grows.

    You, too, need community. And sometimes it comes to you within those walls where you live. This is what (in)courage is for. This is what they do. They create community. For you and for me.

    Today is Launch Day for Session Two of (in)Couragers – community groups for people like me and maybe like you. People who know they need community, but sometimes it’s easier to just stay inside and keep rocking.

    Session Two begins today, Feburary 12th, and will continue through April 28th. There’s one waiting just for you. Take a peek below and find your community.

    Artists
    Bible Study Gals
    Caregivers
    Chronic Illness/Homebound
    Depression
    Empty Nesters
    Fitness/Lifestyle
    Homeschool Moms
    Hurting Families
    Infertility
    Marriage Mentors
    Military Wives
    Ministry Wives
    Missionary Care
    Moms of Teens
    Motherhood
    New Moms
    Single Gals
    Single Moms
    Social Justice
    Special Needs Stories
    Working Moms
    Women in Ministry
    Women over 50
    Writers

    I’ll be co-leading the single gals group, (in)joy, and we would love to have you! We’ll be reading though my eBook Fall for Him. If you’re single and would like to join, click on our Facebook Group page.

    Go ahead. Learn more and join here. Your community. Online.

    incourage community

  • Community Where You Are :: (in)RL 2013 is Here!

    Over the past few months, since Baby Girl was born, I have craved community like never before in my life. I don’t know what it is exactly – the lack of sleep, constantly wondering if I’m doing motherhood “right”, isolation of being home all day, or maybe a combination of all of these things – but for some reason my typical introverted, loves-to-be-by-myself self just wants someone to talk to in-real life. My online friends are wonderful, and their prayers and support mean more than I can tell you, however they’re not flesh and blood to me right now and sometimes you just need the real thing.

    Ahhh, then comes the (in)RL conference! The online/in-real-life conference for when you just have to have flesh and blood!

    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-5axInVxlw]

    (in)RL is an online conference hosted by (in)Courage where you invite your in-real-life friends – (in)RL friends – to come together for girl-talk, spiritual refreshment, and fun! Think of a FREE girls weekend where you can kick back and enjoy without having to pack bags, arrange babysitters, and hop on planes!

    Last year I hosted an (in)RL event right in my home. The best part about it was a new friendship I made with someone I had never met before and the authenticity we experienced by just being ourselves.

    Today is launch day for (in)RL 2013 and your opportunity to sign-up to host an event in your hometown or sign-up to attend an event someone else is hosting.

    Read below for all the details, and please let me know if you have any questions!

    About: (in)RL was born out of two years spent listening to women in the comments at (in)courage craving local, real life community. Derived from the social media acronym “IRL” or “in real life,” (in)RL is an invitation to share what we’ve learned about community and encourage women with stories and suggestions for connecting deeper in real life.

    What: Last year we explored the nitty-gritty of community. This year we’re taking a closer look at what it takes to stay rooted in community when sometimes just walking away would be so much easier and tons more convenient.

    Women share stories of how they’ve chosen to stay through hard marriages, challenging parenting, worthwhile friendships. How choosing to stay has freed them more fully and unexpectedly than if they’d cut and run.

    Every group will participate in an online video study and discussion questions.

    When: The (in)RL webcast kicks off on Friday, April 26 and (in)RL meetups follow on Saturday, April 27.

    Cost: It’s FREE!!

    Registration: Register at www.inrl.us

    {If you register on Monday, January 14th you get a copy of the (in)courage 365 Daybrightner while supplies last (US residents only)}

    Gift for You: FREE copy of (in)Courage’s first eBook Best of the Beach House 2012.

    Think of it as a FREE girl’s weekend away that doesn’t require packing or plane tickets, where women can kick off any expectation of perfect, set aside their fears, their shyness, their worry that they’re not good enough, and find some of Jesus’ words of rest woven into every video shared at the conference.

    Will you join us for (in)RL 2013? 

  • Why People Won’t Sponsor a Child :: Compassion Blog Month

    It’s almost the end of Compassion Blog Month. As of last Friday 2,006 children all over the world found sponsors. Our goal for September is 3,108.

    Have you considered becoming a sponsor yet?

    There are several reasons why people do not consider sponsorship. I’ve had many of these same thoughts and concerns, actually. So today I want to talk about some of them and tell you my experience.

    Why People Won’t Sponsor a Child: 

    1. The Money

    That’s probably the biggest reason, isn’t it? I get it. I totally get it. Extra money is hard to come by sometimes, especially now-a-days. But think about this. By just living in the United States most of us are in the top three percent (or something like that) wealthiest people in the world. A pastor said that once in one of his sermons, and my mouth almost dropped. The percentage may not be exact, but it’s something crazy-high like that.

    Jesus said, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (Luke 12:48)

    There’s no doubt that giving to a child in need takes sacrifice. It takes saying “no” to some of our monthly pleasures to be able to use that money elsewhere. But when you see how God blesses you with peace and joy when you get that first letter from your sponsored child in the mail, then you realize how you gain more than you could ever give.

    2. The Fear

    There are a lot of scammers in the world. People trying to exploit children for money. We all have to be careful, prayerful, and vigilant so that these things don’t happen. Some people wonder if their money is truly being used for their sponsored child.

    Well, I had the opportunity to visit my Compassion child at a Compassion site in Burkina Faso, West Africa. Honestly, I was more than impressed with what I saw. It was clean and well-kept. The children were happy and learning. They teach the children about the Gospel, but also about good hygiene, manners, and how to interact properly with others. They teach them life-skills that they would not otherwise learn. The team of leaders encourages these children to be all that God created them to be. And of course they provide food and medical care for their families.

    From what I have seen, Compassion is a top-notch organization. Here are some pictures from the Compassion site:

    Outside the Compassion site
    Some children playing outside the Compassion site
    All the children when we walked up to the site
    They teach the children how to use toilets.
    A Compassion building
    The children in class
    Outside classroom
    Notes from the children’s class
    Inside a classroom
    Inside a classroom. They are separated by age.

     And here’s a little video from our visit that day:

     3. The Difference

    I write a lot about my mission trip to Africa, and every time I do I worry that you may think you have to go there to make a difference. That is so untrue.

    If you didn’t read this post, please do. Recently I wrote about how I was very bad this past year about writing my Compassion child. I just kept thinking, “What is my letter really going to matter?” Well, it mattered. More than I ever thought. When another team from my church went back there recently, my Compassion child ran up to one of my friends who was there. She was holding the picture of my husband and me.

    You don’t have to visit your child to make a difference. Your letters make a difference. They truly, truly do.

    4. The World

    A common reason I hear of why people do not sponsor children in other countries is “Well, what about the children here? Shouldn’t we be helping our own first?” Of course we should be helping children in our lives and communities right where we live.

    But the Great Commission does not stop just with here. The Great Commission is for everywhere. We just happen to live in a country with resources that make it easier to help children and people all over the world, not just here, so why not do that? And with the internet and technology it is easier and more convenient than ever.

    “Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’” (Matthew 28:18-20)

    I encourage you to think the way I think God thinks. I don’t think He sees us all separated by land masses and water. All of us live on a fallen earth, all of us need a Savior, all of us are His children whom He loves more than anything.

    May I challenge you?

    Sometime today or tomorrow, go to this website. Look through the children who are waiting for sponsors. Don’t just make a commitment. Really look at their faces. Then pray and ask God:

    • to protect these children. Give them what they need. Help them to know Him intimately.
    • to reveal to you if this is your time to sponsor. It may not be. He may tell you “not now”. But at least pray and ask Him.

    This is a wonderful opportunity to get your personal children involved, too. Grow in your children a heart for others by having them choose a child to sponsor. Then, involve them in writing to your sponsored child.

    What do you think or wonder about often about child sponsorship with Compassion?