Category: Faith

  • Did Donald Miller Change My Mind about Church?

    Last month I explained why I think Christian singles should go to church. About a month later Donald Miller wrote a few posts explaining the reasons he doesn’t go to church very often.

    I will admit that after reading his posts I felt totally defeated. Here I am almost begging young women to get involved in a church and then there’s a hugely influential, culturally in-style author telling everyone that he rarely goes to church and explaining himself through a long list of reasons.

    Now to be fair, he does say that this is his perspective and that he’s not saying that churches are bad or that no one should go to church. And I believe him. I actually agree with some of what he wrote. I, too, don’t connect to God through music. But I’m not a music person in any other area of my life either. Music has never been my thing. During church I sing, but for me it’s like the vegetables before the dessert. I’m really there for the message.

    With my background being in education, learning styles are nothing new to me. One of the greatest keys to a child’s learning is understanding his style. My primary learning style is visual and then kinesthetic. So when I go to church I am prepared with my Bible, paper, and a pen. I approach the sermon like I’m going into a college lecture. Sure I probably look a little over-zealous to the people around me as I frantically write and flip the pages of my Bible, but I know my learning style, and if I don’t see it then I won’t learn it. Then I can’t teach it to further cement my learning.

    I also don’t completely disagree with the idea of the church being everywhere. When people use the term “church” usually they are referring to a building where Christians meet. However, “the church” in the Bible is not a place but the group of brothers and sisters in Christ as a collective whole. All Believers make up the church. So I don’t necessarily think that “going to church” has to be in a church building with elders and deacons. I also agree that we are given the same authority as “priests in His kingdom” as any other person. Isn’t that why Jesus corrected the disciples when they complained that someone who wasn’t “one of them” was casting out demons in Jesus’s name (Mark 9:38-41)?

    However, this is what I know and this is the reason my heart sank when I read Donald Miller’s posts:

    In my world, from my experience, Christians are anemic for maturing, edifying, God-centered community.

    This does not seem to be the case for Donald Miller, and quite frankly I am jealous that he has such a strong, “spiritually sound” community. I wish I did. But I don’t.

    My world is filled with people in all places of maturity in their relationship with Jesus and with people who have no relationship with Jesus at all. If I did not intentionally meet together with other Believers, then I would starve and be unable to carry out the priestly duties God has assigned to me.  I think this is the case for most people.

    For me, church – whether in a building with a sign out front that says “Church” or in a home or under a tin-roof in the middle of Africa – is my home-base. It’s where I go to get recharged and equipped, through the Holy Spirit in the lives of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, to do the work God’s called me to do. We are instructed to “not give up meeting together” (Hebrews 10:25) – that is meeting together with other Christians. Meeting together should be intentional and deliberate.

    To you, young women, I want to continue to encourage you to find a church where you can meet with other Believers. Yes, you can meet in your home with your Christian friends and this could be considered “church”. My only hesitancy is that it’s so important for you to be in a community with mature, growing Christians – people of all ages and with many different life experiences from which you can learn and grow – and a place where you can hear the Bible taught truthfully. Plus, being involved in a church isn’t just about you. It’s also about those who need you – those who need your story, your testimony, your life. It’s about serving others.

    My fear is that you read the words of influential people, like Donald Miller, and you think that if it’s best for him then it must be best for me. Maybe, but maybe not. And from my experience probably not.

    I often wonder if my twenties would have looked any different with a mature community of God-growing people around me. I think so.

    Beth Moore said it best in a recent tweet. I’ll leave you with this.

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    I’d love to know your thoughts! What do you think about church?

  • 5 Bible Verses for When You Just Want to Be Chosen

    I was a terrible person to break-up with when I was single. I had three significant relationships before I got married and in every one of them I did everything short of get on my hands and knees and beg the guy to choose me. Just think of the girl on The Bachelor who doesn’t get the rose, gets into the limo, and then hyperventilates through her tears. Yep, that was me. I was a broken girl. One day I’ll tell you more stories about that girl – stories that will shock you and embarrass me.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about why I acted the way I did when guys broke up with me. It’s painful to think that I begged guys to choose me. But you know what? I’m still that broken girl.

    Photo Credit
    Photo Credit

    I wish I could say that I’m free from the bondage of begging to be chosen, but I’m not. On Wednesdays I go to Bible Study Fellowship (which I highly recommend to you). There are a group of “cool moms” there. They’re young, in their late twenties/early thirties, they wear leggings and scarves and knee-high boots, and they all sit together. I smile at them and they half smile back probably wondering why I have a big cheesy smile on my face. I so want to be a part of their group. But at 37 I’m just not. It doesn’t matter that I have a 15-month-old too. I sit there with a jealous knot in my stomach hoping one day they’ll choose me.

    Then there’s the online crowd. Out here in blog world there is an in-crowd just like in “real life”. The Christian women bloggers who chat over Twitter. I’ll send a tweet to one of these ladies then check my phone every two minutes to see if they tweeted me back. But nothing. My heart sinks.

    My desire to be chosen also sits closer to home.  My mom passed away three years ago. Since that time I no longer have a mom-figure in my life – no one who is in my corner always. I hear these stories of older women going up to younger women and saying things like, “God just told me that I was supposed to be your mentor.” I wish an older women would choose me.

    The stories don’t end there. For most of my life I’ve just wanted to be chosen.

    Today is Valentine’s Day, and you may feel the same way. More than anything you just want to be chosen by someone. You want someone to reach out his hand to tell you you’re accepted and loved and special.

    I know that feeling, and I also know the thoughts that accompany it. “What’s wrong with me?”, “I’ll never find anybody!”, “Nobody will ever just like me for me.”, “I’m going to be single for the rest of my life!”, “Maybe I’m too . . . (you fill in the blank).”

    Sometimes I struggle with writing truth to you because I hate pat answers, and I don’t want to give you a roll-your-eyes, “that’s what everyone says” answer too. But in this case there’s only one way to say it.

    Those thoughts you’re having about why you’re not chosen? They’re straight out lies from the enemy. Bold-faced lies to destroy you.

    And it’s time to bind them up and throw them out.

    If you have to sit and read these verses over and over to yourself tonight or this weekend or any day after this, then I want you do it. Let God’s Word sink in and transform your mind.

    Because you are chosen. Chosen by almighty God himself. If you were the only person on earth, He still would have come to earth to die on the cross. For you. Just for you. He loves you that much.

    Whether single or married or somewhere in between, there will always be times when we are not chosen by this world and the people in it. But if we remember God’s truth, then we will not make decisions out of the feelings those times bring. Instead we’ll stand up and say, “I’m not chosen by this world, but I’m chosen by God, and God is where my home lies.”

    Bible verses so you know you’re chosen:

    “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9

    “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love” Ephesians 1:3-4

    “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

    “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” John 15:16

    “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God, and the Lord has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.” Deuteronomy 14:2

  • IF:Equip {A Community of Women Reading the Bible Together}

    A few weeks ago I wrote about How to Start Reading the Bible because if we want a relationship with Jesus it’s best to go straight to the source – His Word. And that is what we all want, right? We want to know Jesus intimately and personally. That’s His desire for us as well. The Bible is His love story to us and He wants us to read it.

    But reading the Bible isn’t easy. I won’t pretend like it is. It can be quite intimidating. So I wanted to give you some practical ways to start reading the Bible and some ideas that have helped me.

    IF Gathering

    This past weekend IF:Gathering hosted the first conference in Austin, Texas and all over the world in local gatherings. I didn’t go to Austin (but how awesome would that have been) or attend a local gathering, but I’ve been frantically trying to watch the online livestream of the talks. They are disappearing after Monday, so by the time you read this they’ll be gone. However, you can buy the download copy here. Some of the speakers were Christine Caine, Ann Voskamp, Rebekah Lyons, Bianca Olthoff, Jennie Allen, Jen Hatmaker – and others.

    But today is starting something new with IF. It’s IF:Equip. This is the next step to learn more about Jesus, to become more like Jesus, and to serve others with the love of Jesus. The process is simple. All the details are right here. They’re starting in the book of John.

    So if you haven’t started reading your Bible yet, now’s your opportunity – with a community of women who are seeking the same thing you are – Jesus!

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  • When You Want to Escape Reality

    My eyes are greatly undisciplined. Not in a physical context where I struggle with inappropriate movies or trashy novels or pornography or lust, but instead the eyes of my mind. The eyes of my mind help me to escape reality. 

    I find myself going through my day with my mind somewhere else. Sometimes I’m sitting in my bedroom as a child playing with Barbies. Other times it’s ten years from now and I’m at the kitchen table talking to my daughter about boys. Rarely is my mind focused on the present.

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Jack W Reid
    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Jack W Reid

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  • How to Start Reading the Bible

    Last week I shared with you the one reason you need to read the Bible – to claim God’s promise of an abundant life. Most of us agree that Jesus came to earth to give us eternal life, the first part of John 10:10b that says, “I came that they may have life”. But it’s the second part of that verse that we doubt – the part that reads, “and have it abundantly.”

    Jesus came to earth so that we can experience abundant life NOW! We experience abundant life through a relationship with Him, by knowing His character, and understanding there is a bigger, eternal story He is writing.

    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Brett Jordan
    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Brett Jordan

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  • The One Reason You Need to Read the Bible

    I followed Jesus a long time before I started reading the Bible. That is before I read the Bible on my own outside of Bible study and Sunday school and church.

    In college I sat on my bed one night with my Bible open to some random book. I had no idea what I was reading, but I just knew I should be reading it. My roommate walked in, and even though she was a Christian too she looked at me in a peculiar way communicating, “Why are you doing that?” Even in Christian circles reading your Bible was just not done. It was almost faux pas. You were definitely crossing over to the Bible-thumping side.

    The One Reason You Need to Read the Bible  2169114132_bb475d15d4_z
    Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Brett Jordan

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