Category: Faith

  • How My IPhone Helped My Prayer Life

    It wasn’t until this time last year that I realized the weight that the words, “I’ll pray for you”, had for a person who was on their knees in desperate agony crying out and begging for prayer.  This is the week last year that my reality truly set in as my husband and I spent an entire seven nights in the hospital as he prepared to be listed for a heart transplant.  My need for prayer grew to be so desperate that became very sensitive when I heard the words, “I’ll pray for you.”  I wanted prayer for John so desperately that I was willing to pay for them (see my blog post Pay for Pray), but I didn’t have time for empty words.  I rather not hear the words at all then to hear them and have no prayers lifted up to God – the only one who could heal him.  I did not need flippant encouragement.  I needed a miracle.

    Throughout our journey I reflected often on how I respond to the needs for prayer that surround me.  My reflection was very convicting.  Sometimes I am the person who offers flippant encouragement without honest intercession to our Heavenly Father.  With great intentionality I began to observe and seek the needs of people with whom I come into contact.

    Wow, were the burdens great!  As I sought the prayer needs of others my list kept growing and growing and growing!  I would have to become a nun to have time to pray for all the needs that surrounded me!  But the thought of not praying for these needs saddened me greatly.  What if no one else was praying for them? 

    In an effort to lift up in prayer the needs of so many people I did two things.  First, I became more aware of the Holy Spirit’s prompting of who He is calling me to prayer for.  I read, “If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans” Romans 8:26 (The Message).  I tried to not allow my perfectionistic tendencies trap me into making prayer legalistic – like if I don’t pray for this list of people something bad is going to happen – as if I am in control.

    The other thing I did is more practical.  I decided to make a prayer calendar.  I assigned people and needs certain days of the week.  Some prayers are ongoing and never ending.  Some are more than one day a week.  Some are just for a season, but each day I have a list of people that need prayer.  I wanted this list to be with me at all times so that I can quickly refer to it wherever I am, so I decided to put the list on the calendar in my IPhone.  I programed the list to display all day instead of certain times during the day so that I could see them all at once. 

    For me this has been so helpful!  I feel like I am honoring God with prayers like I wanted in my great time of need without the burden of who or when or how long or how often.  I know now that each person has their special day or days, and on those days my prayers will be specific and thoughtful.

  • Listening for the Ripping of the Curtain

    Today I listen for the curtain of the temple being ripped in two from top to bottom.  The curtain that shielded the Most Holy Place from view.  The curtain that separated mankind from knowing and relating to our Heavenly Father personally.  The curtain that only the High Priest could enter through to offer a sacrifice for our sins.  (Hebrews 9:1-14)

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  • Perfect Hope

    Every time I walk through the doors I expect to hear, “Everything’s perfect!”  But I always leave throwing my hope into another day.

    John had his monthly heart biopsy at Duke on Monday.  The doctors told us that he has a big (good big – not Cardiomyopathy big), strong heart.  However, his heart is experiencing moderate rejection.

    Then we saw the infectious disease doctor.  John’s heart donor was exposed to a few viruses, and since John is immunosuppressed, we have to keep a close watch on him to make sure the viruses stay dormant and don’t rear their nasty heads.  The news wasn’t “bad”, it just wasn’t “perfect”.

    I don’t know what perfection is really, and I don’t know if I should even hope for perfection. Jesus clearly states, “In this world, you will have trouble.” John 16:31.

    As I walked out the doctor’s office on Monday, I heard myself saying, “Jesus, I trust You.” At that moment I chose to not hope for perfection, but have Perfect Hope.

    I will never experience perfection in my earthly body.  However, my Perfect Hope died for me so that I can experience it in my Heavenly one.

    Praise be to God, for being my Perfect Hope.

    “And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.”
    1 Corinthians 15:19

  • Etched on My Heart

    It’s that time of month again . . . time to choose another scripture verse to memorize.

    Since January I have been following Beth Moore’s Siesta Scripture Memory Team.  On the first and fifteenth of each month I choose a new Bible verse to memorize.  I have tried to come up with ingenious ways to have the verses accessible to me at all times no matter where I am in the house or for that matter no matter where I am anywhere.

    I tape each verse to my bathroom mirror.  I make a little card and prop each one up on the dining room table. I write them in a spiral bound notebook.  And I even have and app for them on my phone!  All in hopes of actually memorizing them!  Better yet be able to recall them in those tough situations when I think to myself, “If only I knew a Bible verse that would help me right now!” or “What was that verse again?”  And what would top all of it would have the ability to know it, recall it, and actually use it in a conversation with someone as encouragement or witnessing!

    But it’s not as easy as I thought.

    I can memorize them for a time and say them back to my husband on the last day of the month, but why do I have such a hard time etching them on my heart?  I know God gets a lot of joy knowing that I’m seeking to know more about Him.  I know it’s His deepest desire for me to learn all that I can about Him. 

    “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.” Deuteronomy 11:18

    So why can’t I memorize it, apply it, and teach it?

    I began asking myself, “What is etched on my heart now that might be keeping me for learning God’s Word?”

    Well, I love knowing things.  I love knowing things that others don’t know.  I love the recognition that comes with that, and I love it even better when I can prove someone wrong.

    What is etched on my heart? 

    Pride.

    The one thing I struggle with the most, and the one thing that will make me unusable to God.

    “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” Matthew 6:1

    In order for God to gift me with the ability to learn His Word thoroughly, He has to know that I know it all comes from Him: my mind, my working memory, His Living Word, opportunites.  How dare I even think of taking the credit!

    “For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.”
    Romans 11:35

  • Speechless on the Mountaintop

    Have you ever climbed a mountain or looked out the window of a really tall building and the view just leaves you speechless?  Like there are no words to adequately describe it.  You just stand there trying to savor every detail, take in every moment, before you have to blink and it be gone.  You wish you could put it into words.  You wish you could explain it to someone else who isn’t there, but no matter how you try it can’t be appreciated unless they stand there to absorb it themselves. 

    Right now I am speechless on the mountaintop. 

    Yesterday John and I rode bikes together for the first time.  When I watch John on his bicycle my mind immediately goes into a split screen.  On the left side of my mind he is laying in the hospital restrained by the machines and tubes and medicines.  On the right side he is on his bike, standing up, pedaling hard, as he fights his way up a steep hill.   
    Yesterday the mountaintop left me speechless.
    Today is my dad’s sixtieth birthday.  Sixty is a big age and is creditworthy of a big birthday, but after losing my mom last year my dad’s birthday seems even bigger.  I relish in all of the memories I have with my dad, and realize how blessed I am to have this precious time with him.  
    Today the mountaintop leaves me speechless.

    Tomorrow morning we will welcome a new baby boy into our family – my first nephew.  I can’t wait to see who he looks like.  Will he have a lot of hair like my dad, brother, and I do?  Will he have blonde hair like his mom?  Will he be long and lanky?  I can hardly stand it!  My first glimpse of him will remind me of the mountaintop I am on. 
    Tomorrow the mountaintop will leave me speechless.
    I thank God for my mountaintops because they are where I remember His faithfulness – His faithfulness to the promise of joy and peace. 
    It is here that I become speechless in Him. 
    It is here that I take to the valley when I must go. 
  • Pay for Pray!

    Have you ever had a time in your life when a circumstance was so desperate, so life-changing, so uncontrollably panic-ridden that you were begging for prayer so fervently that it crossed your mind to set up a Pay for Pray stand on the street corner to pay people who agreed to pray for you?

    Back in August while we were at Duke I felt exactly this way.  I lived in a hotel two blocks down from the hospital for twenty-nine of the forty-three days that John was in the hospital.  Each morning I would get up, get dressed, put my Jansport backpack from college on my back, and make my trek down the street to the hospital.

    As I stopped at each crosswalk waiting for my turn to cross, the sounds from the signs made me think I was already in John’s room.  Beep, beep, beep.  They sounded just like all the machines helping to keep him stable.  As I looked at the people walking by me and waiting with me I couldn’t help but think, “What is their story?  Is theirs as bad as mine?  Who’s here with them?  Do they have anybody praying for them?”

    I imagined myself setting up a Pay for Pray stand right next to the hotdog stand on one of the corners with a sign that said, “Please, please pray for my husband!!  How much can I pay you?  I will pay anything!  Just say you will pray . . . but don’t just say it . . . do it!!!”

    I was desperate for prayer.  Any prayer.  From any person.  Along is they did it I didn’t care.

    I became deeply convicted as I pleaded on hands and knees willing to do anything for prayer.  I began to think of all the people who I have said, “I’ll pray for you”, almost flippantly just because I didn’t know what else to say, but who I never truly intended to pray for.  I thought about the desperation they were probably feeling about their situation, and I thought about their reality if they had no one to pray for them.  Those words carry faith that could impact their circumstances forever.

    I found myself beginning to take Paul’s words, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) to heart for the first time.  I wanted to pray for everyone I saw in the hospital for fear that there was no one else to pray for them. 

    So as I walked downstairs and saw the woman sitting on the sofa crying, I would pray for her.  When the child with cancer was taking a morning stroll in the waiting room, laughing and enjoying life, I would pray for him.  As the doctors stood on the elevators stone-faced with stress, I would pray for them.

    Now when I say I’m going to pray for someone, I pray for them.  I sometimes pray for them right then, or I add them to my calendar and pray for them continually on a certain day each week.  I find myself longing, yearning, to talk to Jesus and beg for Him to intercede for those around me. 

    I know the day will come again when I will need to put up my Pay for Pray sign again.  I want to be a good steward of the mountain top experience I’m having right now by praying for others who need prayer just as desperately as I did.

    “Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. 14 Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  James 5:13-16