Category: relationship with Jesus

It wasn’t until this time last year that I realized the weight that the words, “I’ll pray for you”, had for a person who was on their knees in desperate agony crying out and begging for prayer.  This is the week last year that my reality truly set in as my husband and I spent an entire seven nights in the hospital as he prepared to be listed for a heart transplant.  My need for prayer grew to be so desperate that became very sensitive when I heard the words, “I’ll pray for you.”  I wanted prayer for John so desperately that I was willing to pay for them (see my blog post Pay for Pray), but I didn’t have time for empty words.  I rather not hear the words at all then to hear them and have no prayers lifted up to God – the only one who could heal him.  I did not need flippant encouragement.  I needed a miracle.

Throughout our journey I reflected often on how I respond to the needs for prayer that surround me.  My reflection was very convicting.  Sometimes I am the person who offers flippant encouragement without honest intercession to our Heavenly Father.  With great intentionality I began to observe and seek the needs of people with whom I come into contact.

Wow, were the burdens great!  As I sought the prayer needs of others my list kept growing and growing and growing!  I would have to become a nun to have time to pray for all the needs that surrounded me!  But the thought of not praying for these needs saddened me greatly.  What if no one else was praying for them? 

In an effort to lift up in prayer the needs of so many people I did two things.  First, I became more aware of the Holy Spirit’s prompting of who He is calling me to prayer for.  I read, “If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans” Romans 8:26 (The Message).  I tried to not allow my perfectionistic tendencies trap me into making prayer legalistic – like if I don’t pray for this list of people something bad is going to happen – as if I am in control.

The other thing I did is more practical.  I decided to make a prayer calendar.  I assigned people and needs certain days of the week.  Some prayers are ongoing and never ending.  Some are more than one day a week.  Some are just for a season, but each day I have a list of people that need prayer.  I wanted this list to be with me at all times so that I can quickly refer to it wherever I am, so I decided to put the list on the calendar in my IPhone.  I programed the list to display all day instead of certain times during the day so that I could see them all at once. 

For me this has been so helpful!  I feel like I am honoring God with prayers like I wanted in my great time of need without the burden of who or when or how long or how often.  I know now that each person has their special day or days, and on those days my prayers will be specific and thoughtful.

Have you ever had a time in your life when a circumstance was so desperate, so life-changing, so uncontrollably panic-ridden that you were begging for prayer so fervently that it crossed your mind to set up a Pay for Pray stand on the street corner to pay people who agreed to pray for you?

Back in August while we were at Duke I felt exactly this way.  I lived in a hotel two blocks down from the hospital for twenty-nine of the forty-three days that John was in the hospital.  Each morning I would get up, get dressed, put my Jansport backpack from college on my back, and make my trek down the street to the hospital.

As I stopped at each crosswalk waiting for my turn to cross, the sounds from the signs made me think I was already in John’s room.  Beep, beep, beep.  They sounded just like all the machines helping to keep him stable.  As I looked at the people walking by me and waiting with me I couldn’t help but think, “What is their story?  Is theirs as bad as mine?  Who’s here with them?  Do they have anybody praying for them?”

I imagined myself setting up a Pay for Pray stand right next to the hotdog stand on one of the corners with a sign that said, “Please, please pray for my husband!!  How much can I pay you?  I will pay anything!  Just say you will pray . . . but don’t just say it . . . do it!!!”

I was desperate for prayer.  Any prayer.  From any person.  Along is they did it I didn’t care.

I became deeply convicted as I pleaded on hands and knees willing to do anything for prayer.  I began to think of all the people who I have said, “I’ll pray for you”, almost flippantly just because I didn’t know what else to say, but who I never truly intended to pray for.  I thought about the desperation they were probably feeling about their situation, and I thought about their reality if they had no one to pray for them.  Those words carry faith that could impact their circumstances forever.

I found myself beginning to take Paul’s words, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) to heart for the first time.  I wanted to pray for everyone I saw in the hospital for fear that there was no one else to pray for them. 

So as I walked downstairs and saw the woman sitting on the sofa crying, I would pray for her.  When the child with cancer was taking a morning stroll in the waiting room, laughing and enjoying life, I would pray for him.  As the doctors stood on the elevators stone-faced with stress, I would pray for them.

Now when I say I’m going to pray for someone, I pray for them.  I sometimes pray for them right then, or I add them to my calendar and pray for them continually on a certain day each week.  I find myself longing, yearning, to talk to Jesus and beg for Him to intercede for those around me. 

I know the day will come again when I will need to put up my Pay for Pray sign again.  I want to be a good steward of the mountain top experience I’m having right now by praying for others who need prayer just as desperately as I did.

“Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. 14 Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  James 5:13-16