Brenda Rodgers

Category: Marriage

  • I Don’t Always Like My Husband

    I have a confession. I don’t always like my husband. Yes, you read correctly. I don’t always like him. Love? Of course. But not like. And guess what? He doesn’t always like me either!

    If I’m not careful I can not like him a lot. That is if I focus on myself. But I want to like my husband. I want to remember all of his good qualities, why I married him, and even why I love him.

    And I want to remember these things when the stakes are high. When we’re in the middle of a fight or I’m at my whits end. That way I can diffuse the situation by reminding myself that my emotions do not dictate reality. Most likely in a few hours, or maybe a few days, I will think he hung the moon again.

    Otherwise I start to say words that are left out there, forever, hanging in his memories and mine. I start making threats that are not honoring to him or our marriage. And most of all, I start to doubt – everything – including God.

    This is where my dislike turns into something completely different. 

    Today over at Intentional by Grace I write about what I did recently to help myself stop and focus on all I like about my husband – even when my blood is boiling and my face is hot!

    Join me there, and be sure to leave a comment telling me how you diffuse your dislike for your husband!

  • Advice I Received about Marriage

    I don’t know what it’s like at your house in the fall, but at my house fall is more than a season. It’s a time of year that brings with it a series of traditions including college football.

    Before I was married I liked going to college football games, especially University of Georgia football games. But it wasn’t until after I got married that they became a part of my life every. single. weekend. My husband not just likes University of Georgia football. He likes all college football.

    I quickly learned that I had a choice when it came to football and my marriage, and I remembered this advice I received many, many years earlier when I was a single woman.

    Join me over at Intentional by Grace as I share with you “The Best Advice I Received about Being Married”.

  • What to Do with Your Spouse’s Bad Habits

    Nothing shows you all of your bad habits like marriage does.

    When I got married it was like I had a human mirror around me at all times reflecting my shortcomings.

    I leave my shoes all over the house, and my husband trips. Oops!

    There are six glasses of water in our bedroom, and one spills. Oops, again!

    Then there are the more serious bad habits. The ones with potentially lasting consequences.

    So what do we do with our spouse’s bad habits?

    Today is my monthly contributor post at Intentional by Grace where I share my ideas for doing just that – dealing with our spouse’s bad habits. Will you join me there?

  • Have Our Marriages Become Contracts?

    Back in May the state of North Carolina, where I live, made a statement. A statement that was talked about all over the country. A statement in the form of an amendment. An amendment to define marriage.

    This amendment made me think a lot about marriage and what the Bible says about marriage. We know that the Bible defines marriage as a covenant between a man and woman.

    But are our marriages operating as covenants? Or have our marriages become contracts?

    I wrote about this over at Intentional by Grace. Will you join me there?

  • The Fight Over Homeschool

    The Fight Over Homeschool

    Our new baby, our first baby, isn’t even born yet. Actually, he or she is still the size of a peach or a medium sized shrimp if you’d rather compare with seafood instead of fruit. Nonetheless, our precious miracle’s small size has not stopped his (or her) daddy and me from already getting into some major discussions about how we expect this whole parenting thing to go. I thought that since we’re married, and one flesh and all, of course we would be in agreement on the big issues with raising a child.

    Then came the fight over homeschool.

    (more…)

  • 3 Hearts Made 1 Baby: Our Story of Hope After Transplant

    We stood in the chapel on the sixth floor of Duke University Hospital.  Hands clasped, heads bowed, and eyes closed.  The circle tight – there were seven of us in all, some related by blood and some related by spirit – our hearts focused as one.

    Each person’s turn shared the same begging to God – please help John recover from his heart transplant, please help his organs wake up, please let him wake up, please don’t let him die.

    Then it was my sister-in-law’s turn – John’s sister. She prayed for all of these miracles just like the rest of us, and then she prayed for something extra – something a little more.  She prayed for new life – not of the soul kind or of the life-span kind, but of flesh and blood, a new life that may just possibly come from this man who lay down the hall with a different heart in his chest than the one that was there the day before.

    “Please, Lord” , she asked, “please, bless Brenda and John with a baby one day.  Maybe even many babies”.

    And there in the depths of despair and feelings of hopelessness there was hope.

    So through the next several weeks when I sat daily in the same chapel on the sixth floor, alone and quiet, I, too, began to pray for a flesh-and-blood life to come out from the new heart John received.

    Today that child is here with me in this room tucked deep inside my womb, a prune length size, only eleven weeks old.

    We’re going to have a baby . . .  The miracles continue . . .

    The man whose life ended abruptly, without warning or hint that his time had come, gave his heart to John to live some years longer here with me.  And now, that same heart made it possible to create a brand new life – of the flesh and blood and soul kind.  Who knows how much more life his heart left behind will create as it now pounds in John’s chest.

    And our donor’s family. How I wish I knew them by name.  Just to show them how their selflessness in the middle of agonizing grief produced miracles – more than we can count.

    Thank you, Lord Jesus, for your continuous grace upon our lives and for giving us the precious gift of this baby.  We give you every ounce of the praise, glory, and honor.

    The month of April is Donate Life Month. Are you registered to be an organ donor?  I encourage you to please consider it.  I am happy to answer any questions you may have based on our experience.  You can email me at brenda@brendarodgers.com.  And please visit Donate Life America for more information.

    So now I begin preparing to be a mommy. I can’t wait to share this new journey with you. I know I will need more of your words of wisdom than my words here can give, so please offer them graciously! And if you have a spare prayer, we would be most grateful for prayers for our sweet child!

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