Brenda Rodgers

Category: Marriage

  • Happy 3 Month Birthday, John!

    Today we celebrate John’s 3 month birthday from his heart transplant, and we remember the thankless gift from his donor’s family.

    Every day I am asked about John, and my first response is “He’s perfect!” And for the most part, that is true! It has been an incredibly blessed month for us. The best way to describe it came straight from John. He went to the grocery store by himself one day, and when he got home he said to me, “I almost lost it after walking to my truck. I got choked up.” I asked him what happened, and he said, “I just remember not being able to walk around the store and to the car. I can’t believe I feel this good.”

    John’s month has given him an indescribable appreciation for his new heart that he was told he would experience, but that took a little while to fully comprehend because recovery is sometimes no fun!

    Here are some of the things John’s enjoyed this month:

    ~ He’s back at work – full time! John’s company has been wonderful to us, and they were expecting him to come back even later than he did. I was so proud of him for going back so soon!
    ~ He’s been chipping in the backyard getting ready to play some golf again.
    ~ He went to the GA/TN game, and of course that broke GA’s losing streak!
    ~ He skips up the stairs two at a time.
    ~ He pressure washed some of the outside of our house.
    ~ He takes walks around the the entire neighborhood with me. He has never been able to do that since we’ve moved here.

    It has been quite a month!!

    On a slightly disappointing note, John’s last biopsy, this past Monday, came back showing that he is having a little rejection. His rejection level is 1 out of 4. This is very common, and what the doctors have always prepped us for, but because we have been so blessed with zero rejection since his transplant, we were a little concerned. John’s doctors aren’t nearly as concerned as we have been. They just adjusted John’s medications, and he will go back at the end of November for another biopsy. This slight rejection hasn’t affected John at all. He has just continued going strong.

    I remind John that a slight 1 rejection is nothing compared to where he’s been. We are trying to stay focused on our blessing of his new heart and to not be fearful. After all, God has already shown us that he is in control and will take care of us. We are now praying for continued good health and zero rejection next time along with the continued peace that I, especially, experienced over the past several months.

    We thank you so much for all of your continued prayers for John and for rejoicing with us in all of his blessings!! We look forward to what new adventures this next month will bring

  • We’ve Entered Our Promised Land

    John went back to work today. I did, too, but the remarkable part is that John did.

    I feel like we have entered The Promised Land that God had for us all along, even though I couldn’t see it. I remember being the hospital in early August and specifically trying to imagine the month of October. I couldn’t imagine it. It was as if time was hanging over Duke Hospital. Each day was like the previous one – daunting, oppressive. I could not imagine October because I did not know what October would mean for me. I did not know if I would be alone.

    Time has the uncanny ability to move really fast even when it seems to be at a halt. So today here we are – in October.

    When I woke up this morning all I could think of was The Promised Land. The desert must of felt to the Israelites like the hospital felt to me – like a place that sucked the time without it moving. The Israelites’ time in the desert came at a cost. They lost loved ones just like I lost my mom. But then there is God’s promise. Waiting out there in time, not moving at all – just waiting – for His perfect timing. He is never changing.

    So as I sit here in October, it is a gift, a blessing, that I did not deserve, but that God had for me the entire time. The ending does not make the loss, the mourning, the sadness any less painful, but it does help me to look to His promises and to eternity because that’s really all I have to look towards. The next time I face my “hospital” experience in another season of life with different circumstances the outcome may be different, but my promise will be the same.

  • Happy 2 Month Birthday, John!!!

    Today we celebrate John’s two month birthday since his transplant, and we honor John’s heart donor and his family for their priceless gift.

    We had a very busy day today with doctor appointments at Duke. We got there at 7:30 a.m. and just got home! John had a chest X-ray, EKG, Echocardiogram, heart biopsy, right heart catheterization, and they took pictures of his arteries. This was the big appointment, and if all goes well he won’t have another heart cath. until his one year birthday. Now John will start having a heart biopsy once a month. If he continues to have zero rejection, he will start going every other month, then every six months, etc.

    We haven’t gotten the results from the biopsy back yet, but everything else looks great! The only thing we’re going to have to get taken care of is the fluid that has backed up and formed swelling where he was connected to ECHMO. John will have to see a general surgeon to drain it. It shouldn’t be a big deal, though.

    Today we went around and visited all of John’s nurses (and doctors) on the 3rd and 7th floor CCUs. John doesn’t remember most of them, but you should of seen their faces when they saw John! They couldn’t believe it! The nurse that was taking care of John when he went into V-Tach was there. This is the nurse that escorted him to the ECHMO surgery and had to give him CPR. You can imagine how much he appreciated seeing John now. And on the third floor two of the nurses who helped John when he was the most critical before transplant were there today too. It was so good for John to meet them and for them to see John. That’s their reward for helping to save his life and for fighting so hard for him (and me)!

    Over the past two weeks John has really taken off! He is doing things that I’ve never known him to be able to do. He says that it has been so long (6 years) since he has felt like normal and now he finally feels like he has his life back. He is full of energy!

    Here are a few of his accomplishments:
    ~ He mowed the lawn with a push mower! I’ve never known John to do this!
    ~ He carried the ladder upstairs to change the batteries in the smoke detector.
    ~ He traveled to GA last weekend for the first time.
    ~ He has been released to drive and is loving driving his truck without me so that he can play the music really loud!
    ~ I no longer drop him off at the front of the hospital. He now walks with me from the parking garage.
    ~ And he is going back to work on the 18th, which he is really looking forward to!

    No, none of the above were a part of a “Honey-Do” list even though I do appreciate them so much! He did all of these things on his own!

  • The True Legacy

    Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. John 17:3-5

    I have been contemplating the idea of legacy the past few weeks since I last saw my mom and she went home to Jesus. Never before have I seen my mom in me like I have recently. In the past I have noticed in myself facial expressions and body language that is from my mom. Sometimes I say things like she does, and I can have a feisty spirit like she sometimes has.

    But more recently I notice things that I do around the house that I got from my mom. Like she never wanted to run out of toiletries or things like that, so she always stocked up. I have probably forty rolls of toilet paper in the closet right now and about ten bottles of deodorant between John and me. My mom sent cards and wrote thank-you notes for every occasion, and I am compelled to do that as well. The only difference is that mine are sometimes late, and hers were never late. She used to make a list of everybody she needed to get Christmas presents for and write down exactly what she was going to get them. I found myself doing that the other day.

    When I went to visit her a few weeks ago, and I had the opportunity to talk to her for one last time, there was something that I noticed about her that of all the things she has left me with I hope this one becomes a part of me more than any of them.

    My mom knew she was dying. She knew she was living her last days, her last minutes, and that any moment could be her last breath. However, she said to me, “I just don’t understand God’s ways. I just don’t know why he doesn’t take me now.” She was ready. There was not one ounce of fear or regret in her body. As she sat there talking to me struggling to breath and in pain, she smiled big, was filled with joy, and was overcome with peace.

    My mom’s assurance in her true home in Heaven that was awaiting her was also confirmed as I talked to her cousin yesterday after her memorial service. My mom’s cousin began to tell me a similar story from the day before she passed away. She had gone to see my mom in the hospice, and my mom said to her, too, “I don’t know why He doesn’t take me now.” My mom’s cousin was amazed at her peace and resolve that she knew where her next destination was going to be and couldn’t wait to get there. Her cousin said to me, “I only hope that I am that sure when I die.”

    You know that when a person, who knows that at any moment could breathe her last breath, is asking God to take her home, she knows exactly where she is going and there is no fear. I cannot imagine the horror in feeling any different and being afraid of each second and holding on in fear of what the next moment will bring.

    When I think about my mom’s true legacy that is it: her intimate relationship with God that gave her peace from her assurance of her place in Heaven. She was not afraid of death because she knew it was only her body that was temporary. She knew that this earth was not her home, it is only the place God chose for her to serve Him. She held on to this world and the things in it loosely because she knew that this life was not hers – it was God’s – and she belonged to Him.

    This is my mom’s true legacy. My hope is that of all the things I have learned from her, that I have inherited from her, and that she has passed down to me, that I have the same perspective of my life here on earth and that when I have finished my work, and God calls me home, I will be ready and willing because I have held on loosely, submitted to His glorious plan and will, and kept my citizenship in Heaven first in my heart.

  • More Results

    Last week John had another heart biopsy, his regular blood draw, and he had a CT scan of his chest.

    The CT scan was to check out his lungs and the “white spots” that were showing up in the X-rays in the hospital and in his office visits since then. His surgeon felt like the white spots were probably just left over fluid from his surgery and the hit they took when he had the infection and was on ECMO. However, there is always the possibility of it being something more, and the infectious disease doctors and radiologists have been more insistent in finding out exactly what’s going on in there.

    So, here are the results . . .

    On the biopsy – 0 REJECTION AGAIN!!!
    It seems like we’re surprised by this every week and maybe overly joyous, but all we heard leading up to the transplant was how the risks involved in the transplant surgery were really low, however, the true risk is in rejection of the new heart. There will always be a risk of rejection, but we are ecstatic that there is zero rejection now!

    On his bloodwork – Kidneys are better than normal!!!
    John’s creatinine level (which tells the health of your kidneys) was 0.9! Our transplant coordinator told us that John’s kidneys are healthier than his now! A normal range is 0.8-1.2 (a lower number being better).

    And on his CT Scan – Lungs are improving!!!
    His CT scan showed that his lungs are clearing up, and they have determined that they are simply showing postoperative symptoms. There is no other infection or illness!!!

    I have prayed and prayed for John to recover well, quickly, and to not have any further health issues. God is answering those prayers!!!

    We are so, so blessed!!!

  • I’ll Serve You Despite My Pain

    The outpouring of love for John and I throughout the past three months has been incomparable to anything we have experienced. Everyone from our family and lifelong friends, to friends we more recently met, to friends of friends that we have never met, to people who live across the country, to complete strangers who we will never meet, we have been showered with endless words of encouragement, prayers, messages, and gifts.

    However, there were three families in particular who’s outpouring of love made a significant impression on me. They served us while in the midst of their own hurdles, their own pain, and they did so with pure intentions.

    In one family, the husband and father faces his own battle with chronic illness. They knew exactly what life was like for me in the hospital. His wife could relate to everything I was thinking and feeling. She knew the exact words to say. She knew the specific ways I needed comfort.

    The other two families are young women, about my age with young children, who in the past year lost their husbands to illnesses. One was completely unexpected. Knowing that my outcome could be the same, they jumped to my need and embraced me with love.

    It is hard for people to come outside of themselves and empathize with others in their hour of need. I know it is hard for me. This is something that typically does not come easily for me. However, I think that for someone who is struggling in similar ways, and possibly just as much, it can be harder. On one hand, they know specifically how to serve a person in need because they remember what they needed. But on the other hand, it is hard to put someone else’s pain before your own and recognize it as priority, and it is even harder to genuinely hope for the best for that person when your circumstances turned out differently.

    These three families served us despite their pain, and through their service to us they were an example of Jesus’s second greatest commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:36-40. Possibly without even knowing it, through loving us as themselves, they taught me how to come outside of my own self and love others. There example has reminded me that there is pain all around us. John and I are not the only ones going through a season of uncertainty and pain. Their example has helped me to remember that we are no different than anyone else. So when I start to ask God, “Why me?”, I remember to say instead, “Why not me?” God gave us community to serve each other in these times by putting our own wants, needs, and rights aside and reaching out to those around us.

    I am very thankful for these three families who followed His commandment, and who was Jesus to me despite their pain.