It’s day 11 of the series 31 Days of Lessons Learned from My 20’s. If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

Just yesterday I sold you (or I hope I sold you) on the importance of friendships. Now I’m telling you to learn to be alone. There’s a reason for this.

Twenty-somethings typically learn the art of distraction fairly early. At least I did. Even though I wasn’t busy with family-type-things yet, I was busy will other activities that took up much of my time and my mind.

You see, you can be by yourself physically and not be alone mentally.

Learning to be alone is a good thing.

You know, even now – seven years removed from my 20’s with a husband and baby – I still struggle with truly being alone. There’s always something pulling at my mind wanting me to put that one load of laundry in the wash or send that one email. And of course there’s Facebook. Don’t even get me started there. It’s my biggest weakness.

A trend, though, that I have seen throughout my 20’s and now in my 30’s is that I can’t or don’t seem to hear God’s voice very clearly. I’m constantly making decisions, even after praying about them, but then questioning whether God really wanted me move forward with them. It’s like as I’m praying either my mind’s already made up, so I can’t truly hear His voice, or my mind’s so saturated with other thoughts that His voice can’t get in (or both!).

Jesus was alone often.

 “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16

But I did that. When I was a twenty-something without a family I was alone often. And I prayed.

And now I do that. As a thirty-something I have to be very intentional to be alone and pray, but I still find space in my day to do just that.

So why do I still feel like I don’t hear God’s voice clearly?

In order for us to clearly hear God speak to us, not only must we get alone physically, we must also be alone mentally.

“The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.” 1 Peter 4:7

When Jesus retreated alone to pray, He didn’t carry with Him His to-do list of all the people He needed heal back in town. He didn’t say words out loud to God while at the same time in His mind make a plan of attack.

Jesus was completely alone physically and mentally. It’s in that empty space that God entered. 

God speaks in the alone spaces.

I can’t help but wonder what decisions I would have made differently if I had gotten alone with God physically and mentally as a twenty-something woman. I know they would have been different because I would have heard His voice more clearly.

Lesson #11: Learn to be alone with Jesus physically and mentally. 

 How can you be alone with Jesus today both physically and mentally?

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Raman Sharma

It’s day 9 of the series 31 Days of Lessons Learned from My 20’s. If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

I never knew how afraid I would be in my 20’s. 

I was just concerned up until around year 26. Then I got downright afraid. Afraid of my future. And even more specifically afraid of never getting married. 

I know this is true for many girls but not all girls. My dream for my life centered around that one milestone. I didn’t have huge career ambitions. I didn’t desire status or wealth or experience. I just wanted a family. 

And the thought of never having one not only left me afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, but it even more so it left me afraid of who God really made me to be. 

If I wasn’t going to be a wife and mother, then who was I?

My desires ran deep, my dreams spread wide.

See, I wasn’t the typical college student. It was in my college apartment that I made my first whole chicken and baked my first cake. It was also there that I would look at Family Fun magazine and dream of the day I could put all those fun ideas to use (remember, this was centuries before Pinterest). Yes, I was a little weird if you compared me to my sorority sisters.

But that’s who I was – kind of like my red lipstick. 

I didn’t handle being afraid of my future very well. Instead of surrendering completely to God’s will, trusting Him that He knows what’s best and has a perfect plan to help me – not harm me – I tried to take matters into my own hands. 

What I wish I had of realized is that God was already in my future – there waiting on me. He was in my future preparing for me while in my present He was equipping me.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

My only responsibility was to completely surrender to whatever He wanted to do in my life. 

My dear friend, Emily, is a real life example of a single woman who is not afraid of her future. I’d love for you to read her story here. 

Maybe you’re not afraid of being single forever. Maybe you’re afraid of something health related or something big you feel called to do. Maybe it’s something concerning your career or family. Maybe you’re afraid of something bad happening. Whatever the source of your fear remember . . .

Lesson #8:

God is in your future preparing for you while He’s in your present equipping you. <–Click to Tweet!

How does the thought of God already being in your future preparing for you leave you feeling? 

It’s day 8 of the series 31 Days of Lessons Learned from My 20’s. If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

Since I was a teenager I’ve worn bright reddish lipstick. Not fire engine red but a close variation.

Even through the gloss era and the all-natural beige with a lip pencil trend, my lips have remained red. I wore the exact same shade on my lips on our wedding day as I wear every other day of the week.

One time when I was teaching school I was almost late getting to work, and I forgot to put on my red lipstick. A student came up to me that morning and asked if I was okay. When I assured him I was he told me that I just looked different – like I didn’t feel well. It was the absence of my red lipstick.

Red lipstick is my personal, signature color, my defining accessory. It’s what others have come to recognize me by, and it’s what makes me feel most comfortable in my skin. Red lipstick shows a bit of personality, makes me unique, and gives me substance.

It’s a symbol for the real me.

Everyone has a “red lipstick” in their lives.

No, not the kind in a tube that you use to color in your lips, but the kind inside yourself that colors your soul. It’s the real you. 

Your red lipstick is what makes you a fearfully and wonderfully made person with intricacies that no human mind can fathom. It’s your strengths, your weaknesses, your likes and your dislikes. It’s what makes your heart beat fast. It gives you purpose. It’s why God put you on this earth, and if you belong to Jesus it reveals Him.

There was a time during the neutral-lips-are-cooler era that I became embarrassed of my red lipstick. I wondered if I was out-of-date or if it made me look too old.

But not only did I question the color on my lips, I also questioned the kind that colors my soul. 

Desperately insecure I wanted to hide in a box where everyone looked the same. I didn’t want to think differently or talk differently or act differently.

So I asked God to allow me to be the same-ish as everyone else – lukewarm if you will. I told Him that I knew I belonged to Him. I was confident of my salvation. But I just didn’t want my red-lipstick self to stand out too much. I didn’t want to be know as the Bible-thumping girl.

For many years I lived this lukewarm life trying to blot my red lips so that no one would see the real me.

But God didn’t let me go.

You see, if you truly belong to Jesus, your red-lipstick-Jesus-self never goes out of style. The new creation you have become will always be your true self – the self where you feel most secure, peaceful, and content.

So here I am – red lipstick and all – writing to the world about Jesus. And I’ve never felt more stylish.

Lesson #8: Be yourself because you will never go out of style. 

What represents your “red lipstick” in your life? 

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Mariam Boabbas

It’s day 7 of the series 31 Days of Lessons Learned from My 20’s. If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

I got my first “real” job when I was 22 years old. Having just graduated college, I held my Early Childhood Education degree in my hand and went from school to school delivering my resumé. That summer teaching jobs were hard to come by. Finally, a sweet white-haired principal in small-town Loganville, Georgia gave me a job teaching 5th grade.

My checking account just got heftier. Of course , compared to many other professions, I was not making tons of money. But it sure beat the hourly wage I made working at Chick-fil-A throughout high school.

So I did what any girl-with-a-first-job would do. I went straight to J. Crew (I still LOVE J. Crew!).  I bought a pair of clogs. Clogs that I still have and, believe it or not, still wear to this day.

And I opened a J. Crew credit card account. Because after all, why not? You get 15% off AND don’t ALL girls have a credit card to their favorite store?

I entered my 30’s with some hefty credit card debt. Not all from J.Crew, but debt all the same.

You reap what you sow.

But we don’t just reap what we sow in regards to money.

We do it in relationships, too.

Our culture tells us that our 20’s are “our time”. Our time to live for ourselves, be spontaneous, have fun, try everything, or everyone, out.

However, no one tells you that you carry all of your experiences with you. No one tells you that the “bad boy” you date now may become your husband. No one tells you that you’ll remember those choices.

These are the years of sowing.

Regardless of how badly you want the clothes or the car or the house or the husband or the babies, sow seeds instead of try to reap before it’s time.

How do you sow seeds?

Simply put, be all that GOD intends for you to be. 

Stay out of debt. 

Say “no” to the super hot guy that is not God’s best. 

Study God’s Word – for real – not just as a check mark. 

Serve others!!! 

Sacrifice your own pleasures to help those in need. 

Seek relationships with Godly women and mentors.

Saturate your mind with truth.

You see, unless God calls you to a time of reaping, it’s not your time to reap. 

However, those sowed seeds will reap you the biggest blessings you could ever have imagined. 

Today, don’t get impatient. Just get busy sowing and look forward to the glorious reaping to come!

What is one way you are sowing right now? 

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: JayneAndd

 

It’s Sunday, day 6 of the series 31 Days of Lessons from My 20’s. On the weekends I’m going to post some “fun stuff” to inspire you. If you want to read all the posts in this series, you can find every post listed here. If you want to have all the posts delivered to your email inbox, subscribe here.

This first week of “Lessons from My 20’s” I’ve told you to that only the wise realize their lessons before they pass by, that this IS the decade of promise, and just start now.

But there’s something that will have to become part of every fiber of your being: Faith.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

The things not seen? That’s what brings fear. There will always be things not seen. However, there does not have to be fear.

 How are you demonstrating that your faith is bigger than your fear?