Category: Raising Girls

  • Social Media, Relationships, Depression, and Why I Stopped Doing {Some} Of It

    Social Media, Relationships, Depression, and Why I Stopped Doing {Some} Of It

    For several months (and even a few years) I’ve played around with my social media accounts. I’ve deactivated them, taken them off of my phone, and tried to limit my time on them. I’m one of those highly intuitive people, and something in the back of my mind has always told me we’re going to regret it. Kinda like smoking in the 1950’s and 1960’s. One time I asked my dad if people back then knew smoking would kill them and didn’t care, or if they truly didn’t know. He said both.

    With social media, I got to a place where it was too much. I didn’t feel like I needed to know every in and out and concern of every person I’ve known for the past 30 years. I didn’t need to be invited into their homes and vacations, marriages and children’s lives. Sometimes I felt burdened knowing too much. I worried about people. Sometimes anger from something that happened years ago simmered back up in my soul. Then, of course, there’s the common jealousy which leads to resentment, discontentment, and entitlement.

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  • Why I’m Giving Up on Smocked Dresses and Big Bows

    Why I’m Giving Up on Smocked Dresses and Big Bows

    Nothing sends a southern mama’s heart aflutter like hearing the words, “It’s a girl!” Her next thought is “smocked dresses and big bows.” Fantasies of being a girl-mom come true, and she praises Jesus she doesn’t have to peeve a baby son (or her husband) with second-rate Jon-Jon’s.

    I know this because I am one of those southern mama’s. We’re a little obsessed. Finding a gently used Strasburg dress at a consignment sale sets us up for a week of rainbows and sunshine. Then if we’re blessed with two girls the fun starts all over – matching dresses!

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  • You Can Stay Home with Your Kids

    You Can Stay Home with Your Kids

    I’ve been home with my girls since my youngest was born. She’s now five. Over the past five years people have said to me, “I wish I had the privilege of staying home with my kids” or “I never had the privilege of staying home with my kids.” However, I never thought of it as a privilege. I thought of it more as a sacrifice.

    I’m not naive enough to think that every mom can stay at home with her kids. I know that it is very hard, and not possible for some women. However, I do believe that more women can stay at home than think they can. It’s not so much about numbers working out of paper and more about sacrificing in order to follow a calling on your life – motherhood.

    Staying-at-Home Is a Sacrifice

    When I decided to quit my teaching career and come home with my firstborn, it wasn’t because it was less expensive to be at home than pay for childcare. With a master’s degree, my income was enough that it would have contributed positively to our finances. Plus, my education opened up doors for me to work in other areas of education that earned more. But I felt convicted that the wiser choice was for me to be at home, and so we sacrificed that income to make it happen.

    At times this added stress and burden to my husband. He felt the weight of providing for an entire family. It sometimes was a sacrifice of peace and comfort in our home. But we knew it was a season of life, and we knew that God would provide for us.

    Staying-at-Home Is a Season

    The first six years of a child’s life are significant. These are called “the formative years” because the majority of a child’s formative development occurs. But as is all rhythms of life, it is a season. Of course, motherhood continues past age six, but that doesn’t mean there will not be opportunities for work after these important formative years when children become more independent.

    Of course many women stay-at-home throughout their children’s time at home and beyond, but if this isn’t a possibility or a desire, remember that staying-at-home can be for just a season. It doesn’t have to be forever.

    For me, being home full-time will be for a season. I do not know what I will do next – whether I’ll go back into teaching or consulting or do something different – but I do know that it is a season.

    Staying-at-Home Requires Prioritizing

    When we made the decision for me to stay-at-home, we also prioritized what we wanted to do with our money. Obviously, everybody’s situation is different, but for us staying out of debt was our biggest priority. To make that happen there were years that we did not go on vacation. We did not have memberships to sports clubs. We did not push for the bigger house, and I drove my 2003 Toyota Camry with over 100,000 miles on it until after my second baby was born.

    When friends would say to me, “I wish I could stay home,” I often thought to myself, “I wish I had your new car!” Most people cannot stay-at-home and continue an elaborate lifestyle of big houses, new cars, vacations, and name-brand clothes. Staying at home requires prioritizing.

    Staying at Home Requires Creativity

    When you decide to stay home with your kids, you can get creative with ways to earn a little extra money from home. I have always loved to write, and I now earn some extra money each month as a freelance writer. I also earn money from a direct sales business.

    I think the misconception with these ideas is that they will allow you to make a part-time or even full-time income. And they very well could over time. But for the majority of people, this extra money is typically just enough to pay one bill a month or one extracurricular activity for your child. I think women get discouraged when they start earning money from home and it doesn’t produce what they thought it would or what they see it producing for other women.

    You Can Stay Home with Your Kids – The Book

    As you can tell, I am passionate about moms staying home with their kids, and I think more moms can make it happen than think they can! My friend Erin, from The Humbled Homemaker, shares this passion, and she wrote a wonderful book, You Can Stay Home with Your Kids, to help moms stay at home with their kids!

    What do I love about this book? It is packed full of practical tips and advice to help you make staying at home a reality. Each chapter includes an action step for you to take to implement the ideas Erin shares. There is also recipes, resources, and tools throughout the book for you to use including free printables for you to download from Erin’s website.

    The chapters in the book include:

    • Curb Spending
    • Eat Well on a Budget
    • DIY Household Products
    • Entertain Your Family Without Spending a Fortune
    • Shop Secondhand and Sales
    • Provide for Health-Care Needs
    • Hunt Houses and Vehicles
    • Create More Income

    This is not a book to teach you how to create a full-time income from home. It is not a book that shows you how to keep your present lifestyle of two incomes while staying at home with your kids. This is a book that helps you sacrifice well. It helps you make the most of this season of motherhood with peace and joy.

    And There are Pre-Order Gifts for You!

    You Can Stay Home with Your Kids is available for purchase on April 10th. However, if you pre-order it now you will receive these fun bonuses from ErinWoven Heart ebook, Motherhood Art Print, 2-Week Aldi Meal Plan, and Bath Bombs and Fudge!

    You have until launch day – April 10th at 11:59 p.m. EST – to order and receive these bonuses.

     

    If you are a stay-at-home mom who would like more margin in your budget, or you’re a mom or soon-to-be mom who would like to stay-at-home with your kids, You Can Stay Home with Your Kids is for you! Pre-order today so that you can get all the fun pre-order gifts!

    Tell me in the comments … are you a stay-at-home mom or do you wish to be?

  • New Mama, the Fog Does Lift

    New Mama, the Fog Does Lift

    Yesterday morning I stood in the bathroom putting on my eyeliner. There wasn’t a little girl pulling q-tips out of the drawer or tugging on my robe begging for me to pick her up. I didn’t feel rushed from a baby sitting next to me in a bouncy seat about to get bored at any minute. Instead, I heard distant laughter from upstairs. My girls were playing – together.

    “Has the fog lifted?” I thought to myself. “Is this what it’s like to even get dressed and then to finish getting dressed in one day?”

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  • When You’re Trying to Choose a School for Your Daughter

    When You’re Trying to Choose a School for Your Daughter

    I stood in the kitchen and burst into tears. Standing beside me John didn’t know whether to hug me or suggest a psychologist. My outburst was abrupt. I used to be a crier, but since I’ve gotten older, not so much.

    “What’s wrong?” he asked.

    “EG is starting kindergarten next year.” I managed to get out between sobs.

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  • My Baby Turns 2 and How to Leave a Written Legacy

    My Baby Turns 2 and How to Leave a Written Legacy

    Today my youngest baby, ME, turns two, and boy do I love her with more love than I can hold! I say youngest “baby” because I still call both my girls my babies, and I always will – at least behind their backs.

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