Category: Raising Girls

 

Being pregnant with our first baby has caused me to think about the most bizarre scenarios. Scenarios that I have never thought about before. Scenarios that reveal my desire to be my child’s savior.

Last week I drove to Georgia, where I grew up, for my first baby shower with family and friends. I have driven to Georgia by myself countless times, but this time was different.

What if I’m in a car accident? 

What if I go to a rest area and someone sees I’m pregnant and . . . 

What if I go into preterm labor? 

The recent stories in the news don’t help either.

From child molestation to movie theaters to Chick-fil-A I told my husband that in some weird way I wish our baby could just stay tucked inside forever. Then at least I would know that she is with me, safe and sound.

But I know that this isn’t the way God intended it. And I know He did not give me a spirit of fear.

Our first temptation when we are scared is to try to control the situation.

I have already begun making a list of rules to protect my child from this big, bad world.

No spending the night with friends.

No using the internet – at all. 

No male teachers or coaches. 

No sleep-away camp.

Then I wonder if I should even be bringing another life into this evil place.

Of course these rules sound ridiculous and impossible. Because they are.

Just like God didn’t intend for our unborn to stay tucked inside ourselves hidden from danger, He also didn’t intend for us to obsessively control her surroundings out of fear.

So what do I do with all of these thoughts swarming around? What do I do with the information I read about and hear on the news?

Do I cover my ears and say, “That will never happen to us?”

I have begun to realize that it is not my job to save my child from all of the sin, cruel treatment, sickness, and maybe even crime in this world. Oh, how even writing those words sends a tinge of pain right to my heart. It brings me to tears.

But I am simply not capable of saving her.

That is why God gave us a Savior – Jesus.

There is no doubt that as her parents God has charged us with the job of protecting our baby. But He has not charged us with the job of saving her. There is a big difference.

Every day I have to prayerful discern what God wants me to do to protect our child. Then within those walls of protection I have to trust Him to save her from whatever may come, and I have to trust that His will is always perfect to bring about His purposes. Then I will be pointing her back to Jesus by teaching her a life of trust.

Doing the opposite, building walls around her out of fear, will not only exasperate her, but ultimately she will not have a true picture of Jesus herself. She will see Him as controlling and fear-based. Jesus came so that we no longer have to live this way. He came to give us freedom and peace.

I am beginning to replace my thoughts of fear with thoughts of truth, and I am asking God to give me wisdom with how He wants me to protect our child.

Share with me. Are you tempted to be your child’s savior? Have you struggled with irrational (or even rational) fears as a parent?

 

This week I am linked up with:

Soon after we found out I was pregnant it started. Everyone I talked to had an opinion about something regarding pregnancy, childbirth, or child rearing. Some of these people have children. Some do not. Some have children who are grown.

A lot of times these opinions were unsolicited. And unfortunately they weren’t always encouraging.

Behind the comments I began to sense a tinge of fear within these women. Fear that maybe there’s a better way. Fear that maybe they’re not good moms. Fear that perhaps someone is better.

The fear was masked with the need to compare and then defend.

Today I am honored to be a guest writer at Joyful Mothering where I share more of my observation of the “Mommy Wars” and how I hope to guard my own heart from being a fighter in them. Will you join me there?

I am an obsessive Click here to visit Amy Lynn Andrews.” target=”_blank”>organizer, but a very messy person. I know. It’s quite a dichotomy, but it’s true.

There are no junk drawers in our house. Everything has its own special place. It’s just that everything doesn’t get into that special place very often.

The other day I was thinking about how I could be so organized and yet so messy. What’s that about? Where did I learn that?

I remembered how orderly my mom was growing up. Never did a piece of junk mail sit on the counter for longer than three minutes after it arrived in our house. Never was a shoe not put directly into the closet after being taken off. Never did a pen not get put back in the desk after being used. Never.

My mom never taught me how to organize. She never sat me down and showed how to categorize items so that everything had its special place in the ” target=”_blank”>house.

I learned by watching her.

Of course it was subconscious. I didn’t deliberately watch her in hopes of gaining a few organizational tips. But like through osmosis I learned from her.

Then I brought my own messy self to the equation. So now I have a little bit of both.

Soon after I found out I was going to have a baby I became hyper aware of all the things I need to teach her and some of the things that she just might learn by watching me. 

Things that I’m not even aware of myself.

Things that I don’t want her to learn.

Maybe even things from days when Jesus wasn’t my priority.

The Bible teaches us that generational sin is real. I think it stinks to be honest, and I think it’s unfair. (But then again I’m not God.)

However, it wasn’t until I knew with every flutter, kick, and swish deep inside me that this child was here and growing and one day coming out that I realized the impact my past, present, and future might have on her. 

So I began praying.

‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’ In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now” (Numbers 14:18-19).

I began praying a very special prayer over my unborn baby that God would overflow her with grace. Grace she will need for dealing with the parts of me I wish I didn’t give her.

The parts that still show up broken and that she may learn broken.

The parts that react in fear instead of in truth.

The parts that say “I’m first” when really others should be first.

The parts that run away from Him instead of running toward Him.

Even though sometimes I still operate out of the broken state I once lived in, it is important for me to remember that now I am whole. Wholly sewn back together through my life with Jesus. I am hidden with Him. 

And my baby girl will be too.

What was available to me is also available to her. Even though she will have my soiled genes, she will also have my Savior. 

What prayer did you pray for your children before they were born?

 

This week I am linked up with: