Category: social media

Social Media, Relationships, Depression, and Why I Stopped Doing {Some} Of It

For several months (and even a few years) I’ve played around with my social media accounts. I’ve deactivated them, taken them off of my phone, and tried to limit my time on them. I’m one of those highly intuitive people, and something in the back of my mind has always told me we’re going to regret it. Kinda like smoking in the 1950’s and 1960’s. One time I asked my dad if people back then knew smoking would kill them and didn’t care, or if they truly didn’t know. He said both.

With social media, I got to a place where it was too much. I didn’t feel like I needed to know every in and out and concern of every person I’ve known for the past 30 years. I didn’t need to be invited into their homes and vacations, marriages and children’s lives. Sometimes I felt burdened knowing too much. I worried about people. Sometimes anger from something that happened years ago simmered back up in my soul. Then, of course, there’s the common jealousy which leads to resentment, discontentment, and entitlement.

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November 20, 2018
Social Media, Singleness, and a Hidden Adultery

She was wearing a black fleece and jogging pants the last time she saw her ex-boyfriend in person. He came over to her townhouse to break the news gently. As he walked out the door she thought she’d never see him again. Then he showed up in her living room five years later – this time on her computer screen.

Like some of you, social media is a fairly new dimension of my adult life. I got my first Facebook account when I was 32 years old. For those of you in your 20’s, you may not know an adult life without social media. Regardless, social media has changed relationships with all people – including relationships with past boyfriends.

Like the story above suggests, before when you broke up with a guy and closed the door that final time, it was the last time. Now you have direct access to him at all times through your computer screen. So what might you do? You might search for him, look at his pictures, analyze his post, daydream about the “what if’s?” and “why not’s?”, and possibly even work yourself into a depression.

Friends, whether you realize this or not, this is a form of adultery. I know, you may think I’m being dramatic, but I’m not. It is a form of adultery, and it’s even a form of adultery for you, a single woman.

I share more on this topic of social media and adultery in my article “Is Social Media Leading You Into Adultery?” at iBelieve.com. Join me there to read more.

July 15, 2014
4 Ways Online Dating Has Changed Real Life

Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D from ChristianCrush.com is back talking about online dating and real life! Be sure to check out Christian Crush and leave us a question about online dating in the comments!

The hard part of online dating isn’t finding other single people. That’s actually the easiest part, since they’re everywhere. No, in all reality, the most difficult element of online dating is talking to and having fun with the people you do meet. It’s apparently so tricky that in New York City you can take a class with the Nonverbal Group, a company that essentially teaches basic social skills to anyone who is willing to learn.

Dating digitally is the perfect solution for people who have exhausted their resources and need help finding a date. But thanks to that same digital power, it seems that many people have subsequently lost their social savvy. New York Magazine writer Kat Stoeffel explored the backlash of online dating and found that more people than ever feel uncomfortable if there isn’t a computer or smartphone in between them and their date.

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March 26, 2014
IF:Equip {A Community of Women Reading the Bible Together}

A few weeks ago I wrote about How to Start Reading the Bible because if we want a relationship with Jesus it’s best to go straight to the source – His Word. And that is what we all want, right? We want to know Jesus intimately and personally. That’s His desire for us as well. The Bible is His love story to us and He wants us to read it.

But reading the Bible isn’t easy. I won’t pretend like it is. It can be quite intimidating. So I wanted to give you some practical ways to start reading the Bible and some ideas that have helped me.

This past weekend IF:Gathering hosted the first conference in Austin, Texas and all over the world in local gatherings. I didn’t go to Austin (but how awesome would that have been) or attend a local gathering, but I’ve been frantically trying to watch the online livestream of the talks. They are disappearing after Monday, so by the time you read this they’ll be gone. However, you can buy the download copy here. Some of the speakers were Christine Caine, Ann Voskamp, Rebekah Lyons, Bianca Olthoff, Jennie Allen, Jen Hatmaker – and others.

But today is starting something new with IF. It’s IF:Equip. This is the next step to learn more about Jesus, to become more like Jesus, and to serve others with the love of Jesus. The process is simple. All the details are right here. They’re starting in the book of John.

So if you haven’t started reading your Bible yet, now’s your opportunity – with a community of women who are seeking the same thing you are – Jesus!

February 11, 2014
Blog Planning Bootcamp {with Coupon Code}!

Hi everyone! This is way short notice, but it looks like a great way to jump start or re-jump start your blog! It’s the Blog Planning Bootcamp hosted by the wonderful ladies at How They Blog!

You can read all of the nitty-gritty details in this post, and here are few small ones to get you started!

It’s August 26-30.

It takes place at the How They Blog Facebook page.

You will have short assignments every day – about 15-20 minutes each – and a support group on the Facebook page to help you!

PLUS! Right now you can purchase the awesome Blog Planning Kit for 50% off! Just click here and use the coupon code BOOTCAMP!

Here’s a description of all you get in the Blog Planning Kit!

So what do you say bloggers? Will you join me?

*There are affiliate links used in this post.

August 23, 2013
Beware of Becoming a Blog Follower

Has the term “blog groupie” been invented yet? If not, I’m inventing it because I am one! There are a few bloggers who I am total groupie about. Not only do a read their posts, but I like to know where they went to school, how many children they have, what’s their favorite ice-cream flavor. It’s a little embarrassing, but it’s the truth. I get star-struck easily. And if I happen to meet them in real life (which I have on occasion), I even get nervous!

Image courtesy of CoolDesign / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Recently a blog post was shared in my Facebook feed by one of the bloggers who I would probably get nervous meeting. The comment accompanying it said something to the effect that “if you don’t already read [the shared blog], then you should, it’s a must-read.”

Then, a few days later, another blogger – this time not just a blogger but an author, a speaker, a really famous Christian blogger/writer person – shared a post from [the same blog] recommended by the previous blogger.

Then another big-time Christian blogger guest posted on [this same blog] that I had seen mentioned previously by the two other bloggers.

Now three Christian bloggers had recommended [this blog]. I was familiar with [this blog] that all three of these bloggers recommended. Something a few weeks previous came across my newsfeed from her blog, and I checked it out. Like some of them, this blogger isn’t really just a blogger. She’s an author, speaker. She’s even been on T.V. She’s a famous person.

But what I read really disturbed me. It’s not just that controversial social issues were being discussed. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it was the way Truth was being represented. And even more so that these three Christians bloggers, who I would get nervous meeting, recommended me read her blog.

As I looked around in her big-ish corner of the world-wide-web, Jesus was talked about . . . along with Buddha, the Koran, and other eastern religions. And meditation. And hell. And other things that were not the Truth of the Gospel.

It was a light bulb moment for me.

It was like God pricked my heart right then. Watch your star-struckedness!

Just because someone writes about Jesus, doesn’t make her words Truth. (and that includes my words, too, my friends!)

Just because a big-blogger, writer, speaker, T.V. personality, recommends, guest posts, or says, “You have to check out this blog!”, doesn’t mean that it’s a recommendation I should trust.

I read lots and lots of stuff online. But am I holding what I read up to the Word of God to see how it stands against Truth? The Bible is very clear that false teachers and prophets abound all around us – possibly even in the Christian blogs we hang out in. With the internet we are susceptible to them more than ever.

But what about the young Christian, new in her faith and soaking up anything she can find about Jesus? Maybe she follows these three Christian bloggers who have just recommended, quoted, and guest posted for [this other blogger/writer]. Is she being led haphazardly by this recommendation?

So, this is my caution to blog followers:

1. Hold everything you read up to the Word of God. We will not agree on everything (Titus 3:9), but the Gospel shouldn’t be a place of discrepancy.

2. Be careful what you promote, endorse, and share. No, there’s no way to know everything about a person. I recommended Rob Bell’s DVDs to several people before he wrote Love Wins, so I’m just as guilty as the next person. But now I am mindful of it. That young Christian needs to know Truth, and if she’s looking up to you, then you’re the one who needs to point her to it.

I know you might be dying to know [the blogger/writer] I’m referring to in this post. I’m not sharing the name because the purpose is not to get an online Christian war started. It doesn’t matter who it is. The purpose of this post is to share with you a trend I’m seeing online in the Christians blogging world. A trend my heart’s been pricked by. It’s the ever so slight, innocent, bend towards a type of political correctness when it comes to the Gospel. I can try to be politically correct about many things but the Gospel of Jesus is not one of them.

We have to beware of becoming a blog follower and instead focus on being a Jesus follower.

And that includes myself.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.’ 1 Peter 5:8

What can you add to this conversation?

June 18, 2013