Brenda Rodgers

Category: For Single Women

  • Welcome to Our (in)Courage Single Women’s Community Group!

     

    The internet is fun, right? With blogs, Facebook, Twitter, and even other ways to connect like Instagram, Skype, and the old favorite – email, it would seem like every person would have an authentic online community along with their real-life community.

    But do we? 

    As helpful as these online communities can be, they are still really, really BIG, which makes true authenticity hard.

    However, we still need authentic community, and we still need a community that will encourage us to live daily for Jesus!

    Thankfully (in)Courage has helped to make small, authentic communities possible by forming and organizing online community groups for women in all stages of life.

    I am happy to announce (in)Joy!, the (in)Courage online community group just for single women that I will be leading along with Emily Enockson!

    What Is (in)Joy!?

    This is an online community group (similar to community groups you may be a part of in your “real-life”) that meets online to chat, encourage one another, mentor each other, and most importantly grow in living each day for Jesus!

    Who Is It For?

    Our community group is for single women of any age or stage of life. However, if you do not fit into this description, there is still a group for you! Check out the (in)Courage website for other women’s community groups. There is one for everybody!

    How Will We Meet?

    We will “meet” in a private Facebook group so that we can share our lives together. To start off with, we will simply get to know each other. Then, we will dive into the hot topics that single women face and what God says about these issues.

    We will also use Instagram with the hashtag #InJoy once a week to show each other pictures from our lives and the ways we are living for Him. Maybe it’s your quit time or volunteering or working hard at your job or enjoying coffee with a friend or just being still. Whatever it is, we want to share all of the joy God gives us throughout the day as we live for Him!

    What is the Purpose?

    The name of our group is:

    (in)Joy!:  An (in)courage community for single women who desire authentic community, want to grow in God’s truth, and discover what it means to find our JOY in Him daily.

    Our group’s scripture verse is:

    “Perfume and incense bring JOY to the heart and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice”  Proverbs 27:9

    By creating an authentic online community of friendship, we hope to bring joy to each other’s lives throughout heartfelt advice and wisdom from God’s Word. We want single women see their lives as purposeful and fulfilling, not just waiting for life to begin, but living a flourishing life now!

    Who are You?

    There are two community leaders for our group.

    I, Brenda, blog here, at Triple Braided, and I consider myself a “recovering single” after living a discontented single life for several years. Now I want to scream from the rooftops, “You don’t have to live that way!” My desire is to help single women live fulfilling lives completely surrendered to Jesus and to make wise choices in following Him now so that they do not have to “recover” later.

    Emily blogs at EmilyEnockson.Blogspot.com, and she is presently a single woman who is using her life to live abundantly for Christ by serving her family in caring for her sister who has special needs and starting a non-profit nature based Respite program. Emily’s passion is see single women not just get through life but flourish in life so that they don’t miss the precious time available to live, serve, love, and have fun!

    How Do I Join?

    We will primarily meet in a private Facebook group, so to join go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/injoy297/! It’s that easy! We will meet you there!

    Emily and I cannot wait to meet you and get started with our new (in)Courage online community group! If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us at brenda{at}triplebraidedlife{dot}com or ecenockson{at}gmail{dot}com! “See” you soon!

  • Single Friends! Way Awesome News Just for You!

    O.K., single friends, so there’s something really awesome happening tomorrow in blog world (no, it’ s not my eBook even though I think that’s pretty awesome, too!) I can’t tell you yet, but trust me, you don’t want to miss it! So be sure the check back tomorrow!

    In the meantime, I want to really get to know you to help with this big reveal that’s coming tomorrow! 

    Do you mind taking this short survey for me? 

    It’s painless, I promise! If you are single woman, I would love for you to participate!

    Just follow the link here:
    Click here to take survey

     And have you heard? 31 Days to Peace-Filled Singleness became an eBook:

    Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single!

    It’s being released very, very soon! Be sure to sign up for updates below and check out the website at FallforHim.com!

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  • Life: An Expected Surprise {and a free chapter download of Fall for Him}

    I knew that when I stepped outside and the air was different and the colors were changing and the sun was lower that the time would be soon.

    But I didn’t know it would come this soon.

    I am one month from delivering my first baby from this ever-growing belly. Even though I have known the date she is expected to arrive for almost nine months now, her arrival is still a surprise, and I find myself whispering over and over each day: Is October really next month? Is the air really crisper? Are those leaves really orange? Is the sun later to rise on purpose? 

    These were the signs that I looked for in anticipation. These are the signs that tell me she is almost here.

    I didn’t expect these signs to be a surprise, though.

    I didn’t expect them to whisper back, “You’re not ready.”

    Procrastination is part of my livelihood. I say that I work better under pressure, and that may be true. Or it may just help me to feel like less of a slacker.

    But two of my friends just had their babies a few weeks early (their first babies, mind you), and here I am holding a checklist that seems to grow by two for every check I make on it.

    I am overwhelmed. 

    And then there’s that other baby I’m birthing next month. The one that’s without flesh and bones but contains the stories and secrets of my life. The one I’ve worked hard to push out for months now – and even years if you count the dirty work to make the stories.

    That baby is my eBook Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single. It is back from the editor and on its way to formatting so that you can see it. Every day I am consumed by thoughts for the women who will read it. My prayers are already going up to you.

    So please forgive if even the expected is surprising. I’m still here trying to nest and birth.

    Download a free chapter of my eBook

    Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single here: 

    Free Download – Fall for Him Chapter 1

     

    And sign up for more updates about the final release date! 

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    Help me to feel better! Have you ever had the expected in life still come as a surprise? Leave a comment!

  • Why I Am Recovering

     

    We are so quick to put the label “recovering” on people with real issues. Aren’t we?

    The alcoholics, the drug addicts, the ones who look at pornography.

    They are the ones who have something to recover from – the sins that are just so big even from society standards. It is easy to swoop all of these people together and require them to get better before they come back to be with the rest of us – the ones who were just born recovered.

    Only by the grace of God I do not have any of these so-called real issues in which I am recovering from.

    However, I am still recovering.

    But really, aren’t we all?

    This life we are living is a life of recovery – recovery from the lies that were told to the first two humans on this earth and the consequence of their belief in them.

    The earth itself and all who is in it has been in recovery ever since.

    My recovery may not look like other people’s. It may not be consumed by group meetings and abstinence. But that does not make the work any less important or the demons any less accusatory.

    No, my recovery is from the things that rot from the inside. Things like pride and selfishness. Arrogance and negativity. Over-indulgence and discontentment. The things that I can hide from most people by not letting them get too close or just by putting on a happy smile. But they are things that I can’t hide from myself. Or from God.

    In a few weeks I am releasing an eBook entitled Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single. I thought about whether I should use the word “recovering” in the title. It isn’t a very pleasant word, and no one wants to believe that singleness is something that requires recovery.

    But for me it is the best word to describe my life since being single. It is funny how when you come out of something you can see it so much clearer.

    There is a certain amount of recovery that all of us endure simply by living in a fallen world. There are life circumstances that are out of our control and leave us wounded, battered, and recovering.

    Then there are our life choices. The choices we make that add to the recovery process. The root of these choices is not keeping our eyes on Jesus.

    The latter is the category that I fall in as a recovering single. Yes, the loneliness, the fear, the confusion, the anger, all of that still would have ebbed and flowed throughout my single years. But the choices that I made to deal with those feelings is what makes me now recovering. I didn’t keep my eyes on Jesus.

    Fortunately the Cross makes recovery possible. Jesus’s death and resurrection is the only event that makes it possible. There will always be recovery from this fallen world until we are fully recovered and made perfect in Heaven.

    But in the meantime, for those times when our eyes turn away, healing, restoration, and new-life are available now, too.

    My prayer is that Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single gives women insight into the times that my eyes fell away from Jesus during my single years so that maybe they will choose to keep theirs firmly planted on Him, and they will not have to recover.  And if they do, that they will experience God’s perfect love through healing.

      Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single will be released this October, but go ahead and download a list of the challenges! Click here: Fall for Him: The Challenges !

    And be sure not to miss any of the updates including a free chapter coming soon! Enter your email address below to receive updates straight in your inbox!

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  • 31 Days of Peace-Filled Singleness Becomes an eBook!

    I was a single woman for longer than I desired. During that time I fought hard for my right to marriage and love and happiness – at the expense of my relationship with Jesus. Now I am recovering.

    Out of my experience came a series I wrote last fall called 31 Days of Peace-Filled Singleness. After receiving emails and comments about how it blessed the lives of my readers, I am making it available to even more women!

    So now 31 Days of Peace-Filled Singleness is

    Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single,

    and it is being released as an eBook in October 2012!

     

    31 Days of Peace-Filled Singleness Becomes an eBookBut there is more than just a new title and a fancy cover! Here’s what you can expect in the eBook:

     3 Divided Sections

    Revised Chapters

    About 85 pages

    Daily Challenges

    Daily Prayers

    Daily Scripture Verses

    Daily Thinking Questions

    My prayer is that this eBook will help even more single women experience peace as they seek God wholeheartedly!

    And if you’re not single . . . help spread the word to:

    your single friends

    the young women you mentor

    your daughters, nieces, and family members

    your women’s ministry at church

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  • Q&A :: When You Have Feelings for a Guy But He Doesn’t Know You Exist

    About once a week I write for my single friends based on my own experiences of life as a single woman. Today’s post comes from an email I received recently. She writes:

    “I would like to see an article that addresses/opens conversation about what to do when you have feelings for someone (but are not dating and have no idea if he is interested in you). I have a history/struggle with developing feelings for a guy and thus far in my track record nothing ever comes out of it.”
    Photo Credit: Creative Commons

    Was this the story of my life, or what? I completely understand this reader’s dilemma. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to stop thinking about this man who you are sure is perfect and your dream-come-true, your mind takes you to the place of no return.

    If only he would notice you, right?

    It may be a stranger who you pass on the way to class or to get coffee at the office. It may be a guy “friend” in your same circle. Maybe he’s even the brother of one of your girlfriends. Regardless you are convinced that if only he would notice you the two of you would click perfectly, and the rest would be history.

    For the most part these “mental crushes” are very typical of young (and even older) women. However, from my experience, they can get out of control quickly and become an ugly word – an obsession.

    Now, I don’t mean to imply obsession like we hear about on TV or see in the media. I don’t mean some crazy type of obsession, even though these types, too, begin in the mind. I’m talking about subtle obsessions that no one even knows about. The kind that make it hard to concentrate, change your interests, and certainly affect your relationship with God.

    Anything we do over and over again with even a tinge of anxiety can become an obsession. In this case what we’re doing over and over again is thinking – about him.

    The Bible tells us to “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

    Our minds are very powerful. Everything that comes out of our hearts starts in our minds. In our minds we can create any reality that we want and actually start believing that it’s true. I think this is Satan’s most used and successful weapon.

    We begin thinking about a man, going where we know he’ll be, trying to ‘accidentally’ run into him, and talking about him to all of our friends. This begins to affect our ability to be content, wise, and rational, and it conjures up in our minds a false reality.

    “Well, he said, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’. If he didn’t like me he wouldn’t have said anything at all”, or “He asked me what I’m doing for Christmas, so he must care about me”, or “He smiled at me when I passed him in the hall today, so maybe he was trying to get my attention”.

    We analyze every word, every facial expression, every mannerism, and then think they mean something in our favor.

    So what do we do about these mental crushes?

    1. Put distance between you and the guy. I know this is not always possible, especially if you’re in a work situation or a situation you can’t control, but when you can control it, distance yourself from the crush. Don’t purposely find a seat on the row behind him or walk the same path you know he walks. For me, the more I was around the person, and the more I tried to manipulate the situation, the bigger my crush and the less peace I felt. And just as a side note, I am one of those people who firmly believes that adult men and women cannot be friends. If you are telling yourself that you are “just friends”, then I urge you to really reevaluate your motives.

    2. Pray with pure intentions. Believe it or not, even our prayers can be tainted by the enemy’s ugly untruths. Pray that God honestly remove this crush from you. Don’t pray with the secret intention that He works it out and y’all end up together. Completely surrender it to Him knowing that because the guy has not asked you out, then God’s answer is obviously “no”. Could that change? Of course, but you have no evidence of that until something happens. And remember, you cannot manipulate God’s plan. Just let go of it completely.

    3. Pray by asking, “God, what am I using this crush to replace in my life?” Obsessions in our minds feed us in some way. Otherwise, we wouldn’t keep coming back to them. Ask God to show you what it is that you are trying to get from this crush that you are not getting in your life and your relationship with Him. He may miraculously take the crush from you, but more often than not He is going to use it to teach you something about your relationship with Him. Is there something that you want to teach me? Something in my relationship with you? Something in my past? What do you want me to learn about you in this situation? How can I grow closer to you?

    We think that these little mental crushes – or obsessions – magically disappear once we get married. But friends, I am here to tell you that they do not always. Just because you are married does not mean that you will automatically be immune from thoughts about other men. Now is the time to practice guarding our hearts by taking the advice in 1 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

     How do you deal with mental crushes? What would you add to this list? If you’re married, what wisdom do you have to share today? Please join us in the comments! 

    Do you have a question about dating, relationships, or singleness? I would love to answer it here in another post! Email me at brenda{at}triplebraidedlife{dot}com!