Dear Single Lady,
Do you believe a boyfriend will fill the emptiness in your life and heart? I’ve been there. But let me tell you, a boyfriend does not fill the emptiness. My married friends have told me that neither does a husband. Yet, this lie is something so many single women believe.
Why do we think we need boyfriends in order to feel complete?
I see it all too often. (And I did it, too.) A young woman has bright dreams for her future. She wants the godly man, the one who loves Jesus and loves her. The only problem is not doing anything to prepare for him – or attract him. No, instead she’s partying too much, dating guys that may be nice but aren’t committed to Jesus, and “sowing her wild oats” as they say. Then she wonders why she’s not getting the “good guy”.
Today is Single Saturdays at Woman to Woman Ministries, and I’m sharing about making good predictions about your future marriage. A prediction is what you think will happen in the future. However, a good prediction is what you think will happen in the future based on what’s happening right now.
Are you making good predictions about your future marriage? Join me at Woman to Woman to find out!
What do you think is the biggest mistake women can make while dating? Premarital sex? Moving in together? Being unequally yoked? Today I’m featured on ChristianCrush.com sharing the answer to this question and it’s probably not what you think.
Head on over and join me there . . . but before you leave leave a comment. What do you think is the biggest mistake women can make while dating?
This past Monday morning I opened Facebook and found out that I missed the biggest wedding of the year so far – The Bachelor wedding. Honestly I didn’t even know it was coming on. Downton Abbey takes precedence in T.V. watching these days, but had I known the Bachelor wedding was going to be on at the same time I may have recorded it. I’m a sucker for big weddings.
I confess that in years past I have been a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan. Every week I’d sit on my sofa watching girl after girl breakdown into tears, wanting to make fun of them, but instead being embarrassed that they eerily reminded me of myself. Yes, I was THAT single girl. The one who sobbed and begged and lost all ounce of dignity not even realizing it until months later. Then the thought of the incidence made me want to climb into a hole and never come out.
But there’s only so many times you can see two people fall in love in midair after jumping out of a plane while another girl sits back at the house hyperventilating from crying so hard. I haven’t been a big Bachelor fan the past few seasons. However, that hasn’t stopped me from keeping my eye on Sean Lowe.
I sat across the table from her as we chatted. She was young, just out of college, and she told me about this guy she’s been dating. She told me how much she liked him and how sweet he was to her.
I asked her the typical questions. Where did you meet? How old is he? What does he do?
They met through friends. He was young, too, and he waited tables.
“Oh, is he waiting tables while he’s in college?
“No, he just waits tables for his job.”
“Is he interested in restaurant management?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He doesn’t have a car right now. But he’s working hard to get one. I take him to work and pick him up most days. I let him use my cell phone, too, because he doesn’t have one.”
Thirteen days of 2014 have already passed, and it has been so inspiring getting your emails telling me that you’re taking the One Year No Dating Challenge. I know it’s not easy, regardless of your current dating situation, and I know you still have questions about how this whole thing will actually turn out and if you can really sustain it for one whole year – especially if you meet Mr. Right!
I plan to write update posts throughout the months with concerns and questions you may have and to hopefully encourage you to continue your commitment – the first one being today.
Of course, this is how life would work out, wouldn’t it? I could try to give some super spiritual reasons why I think your circumstances might fall in such a way. Like God is checking to see if guys really are idols in your life or that Satan is playing his nasty tricks again. But honestly I have no idea why life wants to go the opposite of where you’re going sometimes.
First of all, there are no rules. My hope is that you are so aware of the Holy Spirit through prayer and Bible reading that you are confident in any decision you make concerning a dating relationship. So if you are in the middle of this challenge and a guy comes along and the Holy Spirit tells you it’s wise to abandon the challenge, then go for it.
With that said, I know how very deceptive our single girl hearts are. I know because my heart was the most deceptive of all when I was single. I could rationalize anything and even get really godly people to believe me. (Like the time I convinced my mentor from church that I wanted to move to Texas just for the experience of moving out-of-state. Yeah right. It was because of a guy. But she believed me.)
You know deep down if God is leading you to abandon this challenge or if you just want a date – whether the date is someone you’re truly interested in or you’re fearful you’ll miss “the one”.
When making decisions like this, my benchmark is peace. Is there peace in my decision or do I feel a lead brick in my gut? If you do not feel peace, then you know that either your motives are wrong or you’re deceiving yourself.
If you have made the commitment of this challenge, I want to encourage you to continue you unless you are beyond certain that God is leading you otherwise. Why? Because like I’ve said before, this is the one thing I wish I had done before I was married. You have such a perfect opportunity to truly spend a year soul-searching, getting healthy, and most importantly getting to know your Heavenly Father in such a profound way that will not only benefit you, but will also benefit your future marriage and even the generations that will come from you.
Whatever you do, do not let fear be the reason to quit. Fear is not from God. Fear is straight from the enemy. Trust me, he doesn’t want you to take this challenge because he doesn’t want you any closer to God, and he’ll do whatever it takes to detour you.
Sweet, single friends, I am praying for you! You can do this through God’s strength. Trust Him. Call on Him. He will answer you.
“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3
What other questions or concerns do you have about the One Year No Dating Challenge?
