Our new baby, our first baby, isn’t even born yet. Actually, he or she is still the size of a peach or a medium sized shrimp if you’d rather compare with seafood instead of fruit. Nonetheless, our precious miracle’s small size has not stopped his (or her) daddy and me from already getting into some major discussions about how we expect this whole parenting thing to go. I thought that since we’re married, and one flesh and all, of course we would be in agreement on the big issues with raising a child.
Then came the fight over homeschool.
Not just a disagreement or a small tiff. Oh no. A full blown, tempers raging, misinterpreted words, feelings hurt, fight.
Now I know you’re thinking, “Homeschool? Won’t the child go to school in like six years from now?” Yes, exactly, I know. But that’s where we were – in a fight about how to educate our baby who we haven’t even formally met yet.
My desire to possibly homeschool our child is truly not in an effort to shelter him or her from society based on my faith or my relationship with Jesus. My reasons come from 1. a growing political conflict I have developed after teaching in public schools for thirteen years and 2. a philosophical difference of opinion about how children best learn and how they are typically taught in the public system.
My husband actually agrees with most of my thoughts and opinions, but there is one concern that he has that outweighs his agreement with me. He is concerned about the child’s social development if he (or she) were homeschooled.
And so we went round and round about these issues. Not just over one day, but over a few days.
Finally it had to stop.
After I had debated my side until I could no longer put together a coherent thought I was left with one feeling: fear.
I realized that I was allowing this issue that we have six whole years to resolve to become a wedge between my husband and me now. I was trying to control it out of fear.
Are my concerns legit? Sure. Do I deeply believe them? Of course. But my husband loves our child just as much as I do. And his concerns are just as legit.
It was time for me to come together with my husband as one on the same team. I apologized to him and told him that I was acting out of fear of all the unknowns. I told him that I knew God was sovereign over every aspect of our lives even if our child does attend public school.
I can still get pretty heated up over the subject. Just come around when cable news is on and there’s anything reported about schools. But I’m starting to force my black and white thinking to turn a shade of gray. Not out of letting go of my convictions, but out of accepting that there is Someone greater than me who is in control.