** Since the time Fifty Shades of Grey was published, Dannah Gresh and Dr. Julie Flattery wrote a book called Pulling Back the Shades which explains in detail the harmful effects of erotica. Read my review here.
A blogger friend wrote a much needed post last week entitled Fifty Shades of Grey: the Phenon, the Invasion, and the Preparation. My post today comes as a response to her post.
Before I even begin I will say that I have not read this book, and this is not a book I would ever read. Mainly because it is a form of pornography, but also because I’ve never been much into pop culture – even as a teenager. I haven’t read the Twilight series, and I don’t know about the Hunger Games. And it’s not a Christian thing either. Pop culture’s just not something I’ve ever been into. Weird, right? I’m just not cool like that.
But I have heard here and there about this new book sweeping through the minds of women across the country. Or should I say burying in the minds of women across the country? Because that is what is actually happening.
I first heard it mentioned on T.V. Then I saw some people talking about it on Facebook kind of in disguise. But I knew what book they were referring to. So when I read Karen’s post I thought this might be something I need to think more about.
I know that some of my friends struggle with their realm of influence because they are Christians who do not know many unbelievers, but that is not my situation. My closest friends are also my sisters in Christ, but there are many people in my world who do not know Jesus. And even then people are at all different stages of maturity in their faith.
I can easily imagine this book coming up in a conversation at the hair salon or at lunch with friends or with the young single women I lead and mentor.
I’m ashamed to say that many times when these subjects come up, subjects that I know I am called to speak truth and go against the grain of what is in style, I cower. I get scared with what they’ll think of me or how I’ll come across.
Other times I am simply unprepared.
So today I am thinking of a game plan of what I can say when this book comes up in conversation.
I think that sometimes Jesus’s name needs to be used in a conversation like this depending on your relationship with the other person and how the Holy Spirit is prompting you. But from my experience winning the heart on a loving, personal level first by building a relationship is more effective. I remind myself often that it is impossible for people without the Holy Spirit to understand spiritual matters. Otherwise I find myself beating my head against the wall trying to get them to see my point.
“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:14
So how can I respond in a conversation about Fifty Shades of Grey in a loving, nonjudgmental way, while also speaking truthfully out of conviction from the Holy Spirit and honoring God through my words?
Here’s how I’ll talk about Fifty Shades of Grey.
- Admit that I have not read the book and do not plan on ever reading the book.
- Explain what I know about the book from reading blog posts, seeing commentary on T.V., or listening to what others have said about it in other conversations.
- It is in our minds where our decisions and choices begin, so it seems like harmless fiction, but then we find ourselves thinking about what we’ve read and it turns to lust.
- Books (and anything else for that matter) that takes sex out of the context which it was purposed for – marital oneness and love – diminishes the magnitude in which we can experience it at its fullest.
- This books promotes violence and dominance which is abuse and a form of slavery whether it is consensual or not.
- It continues people’s misunderstanding with Biblical submission.
- It sets women, young and old, up for unhealthy, destructive relationships, and possibly mental illness, by telling them that their worth is in the sensual acts they can perform with a man, at his mercy, and that it is their job to make sure the man is taken care of, satisfied, and in the end “helped”.
- This cycle of abuse and then “love” leads women to believe that a similar cycle in their own life is the answer to winning the man or keeping the man or changing the man.
- Like all sexual sin, the deceit is subtle. Sometimes it’s not until years later, when you’re married, that you see the effects of sexual sin whether it be outward adultery (physical or mental) or inward distrust and insecurity.
- Women are worth more than this. Women are full of value and beauty, a prize to be cherished. This book does not cherish women.
- Personally, I am worth far more than the way Anastasia is treated by a man. There is no way that a man would ever treat me this way, and I don’t want any iota of doubt of my worth entering into my mind by reading a book such as this.
My heart is so heavy and saddened by the lies we women continue to believe. The bondage the enemy continues to try to hold us in. We are princesses and queens with worth far greater than rubies or any other earthly treasure. And yet we continue to fall into the trap of believing otherwise and being treated as otherwise.
Jesus help us.