Five months ago John and I went to the church for the first time. Sitting on the third row we sang with the band, then sat down to listen. The pastor got up to teach us, and we were filled with God’s truth in a way we hadn’t been for months. It was like the feeling you get after a long run – desperate for water, but you don’t want it too cold or else it will sting going down. His teaching was quenching and warm.
We wanted to know more about this man who taught us this day, hopeful that he might be the man we would one day call “pastor”. So we followed him on Facebook because that’s what you do in 2014 when you want to know someone better. You stalk them first. But we did it the inconspicuous way by “following” him without asking to be his “friend”. Well, that’s what we did – until he sent us a friend request.
I came down the stairs that Sunday afternoon, and John said to me, “He wants to be my friend . . . on Facebook.” “He does?” I said back to him. That’s awfully humble for a lead pastor. We were coming from a place of pastors who are too busy, too popular, and too disinterested. But this man, who had only looked down on us sitting on the third row , was interested in knowing us, too.
So this silent friendship started even though we’d never met. Until he came up to us before the service began that Sunday, reached out his hand, and called us by name. He knew us before he even knew us.
John was especially appreciative of this pastor who treated him like a regular ol’ guy like himself. As is probably true with many guys, real friendship is hard to come by for my husband. You have to be real. He has no time for cockiness or arrogance or earning a card into the man’s club. Celebrity churches with lip service don’t impress him. Authenticity does.
Just two Sundays ago this pastor shook my hand. Then he took interest in me. “I’d like to hear more about your ministry, and how we can help singles here”, he said as the band started to play. We followed each other on Twitter, too, and he knew about my writing ministry.
Then this past Thursday I got a private message on Twitter. Again, asking when we could talk about my ministry and serving the singles at the church. I had been praying for “real life” opportunities to serve because now-a-days my ministry is mostly online.
I was so looking forward to sharing my heart for single women with him.
Then the news came to us late Saturday. He was gone. This man we didn’t know well at all.
My husband cried real tears. He’s not been the same since.
There’s so much to process when anyone takes their life. So many questions, so much confusion. But when a man of God makes this decision it begs the question, what hope do I have, then, if someone who knows truth and walks with God is overwhelmed by this much despair?
Here are a few thoughts from this man John and I barely knew, but who made a difference in our lives in such a short time:
1. Our lives are affecting people we don’t even know and in ways we don’t even know every day.
My husband, the transplant hero, still asks many questions concerning this life and God and how it all works. I guess when you face death head-on and live through it questions are inevitable. But they’re also tiresome. This pastor had no idea that his interest in John was drawing John closer to God – closer to asking the hard questions. John was hopeful that they would get to know each other better.
Whether it’s the cashier in the grocery store, the girl in your class, or your small group leader, our lives affect those around us every day and in many ways. People are watching us. They’re watching our God. Our lives matter beyond comprehension and in ways we will never know this side of heaven.
2. Satan is alive and striving to destroy all believers’ lives.
We don’t like to talk about the dark world of Satan and demons and warfare that’s going on around us. Some think it’s mystical and maybe not even real. I’m here to tell you it’s very real and every moment of every day it’s fighting for our souls. The Bible tells us, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12).
The inner turmoil, desperation, and torment this man of God was going through in the last moments of his life brings me to my knees in despair. My heart cries out for him. This was a spiritual attack. Regardless of the circumstances, his past, sin, the bottom line is that he was under spiritual attack.
Not one of us – apart from the grace of God – is beyond this type of attack. We must stay prepared. We don’t have a moment to lose. Ephesians 6 goes on to tell us:
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20)
Which brings me to my last thought . . .
3. We must be deep in prayer daily for our leaders in the faith including our pastors, Bible teachers, deacons, elders, children’s ministry leaders, missionaries, and everyone else who is dedicating their lives to spreading God’s truth.
Oh friends! We have to pray for the men and women of God who are in ministry! Satan’s attacks are strongest against the ones who are hardest to break. Think about it. He doesn’t have to go forcefully after someone who isn’t in a close relationship with Jesus. The attacks come more fiercely to those who are living out their faith. Think about the men and women in the Bible! But they are human and they need prayer.
On a smaller scale, I know this from experience. When ministry opportunities, including this blog, come my way, I can watch for spiritual attack either in my mind or in my family or both to quickly follow. Please pray daily for our leaders.
Now I want to ask you to please pray for our pastor’s family – his wife and two children. Pray for their peace. Pray for some understanding although it will never be enough. Pray for protection from the enemy who will invade their minds. Pray for these children’s understanding of God. Pray that this life event that is now a part of their story will cause them to run fiercely towards Jesus and not away from Him. Pray for their provision. Pray for all that they need that we have no comprehension of. May God hear the groanings of the Holy Spirit within us and within them.
And please pray for this church, the elders, the deacons, the close friends of the pastor, the long-time members. Please pray for wisdom for them. Please pray for their healing. Please pray for their protection from the enemy.
And please pray for all the people who are skeptical of God, who don’t understand, maybe who were just starting to come back to church, maybe who were on the brink or conversion, and who now are left with questions and confusion and want to just run far away. Pray that instead they will run to God. Pray that this event does not keep people from gaining salvation.
Please pray for our community.
Thank you so much.
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