It’s been such a long time since I’ve really sat down and spent time here, my little room in the world-wide-web. I almost feel like a stranger, and I hate that.
This blog is my baby. She was conceived way before my precious Baby Girl came into life last year. Out of the excitement of getting married I birthed her. This is what she looked like then.
Then two years later this happened.
I sat in an ICU room, and God told me to write. I know that may sound hokie to some of you, but I remember it like it was yesterday. He told me that stories have to be shared so that others can live. Not live physically. Live spiritually. Know that they’re not alone. And that they’re loved. So that in the pain He still gets the glory. And others wonder what that’s about.
So I committed to telling that story and the others in my life. My life verse was born around that time too. Along with memories I didn’t even know I had about sitting in my room as a girl and writing. But not majoring in English because I didn’t think I was as smart as all the other English majors. I didn’t think I could do it.
For five years now I have kept plugging away at this writing thing. More really blogging thing. It’s been so hard. My perfectionism ties my hands more than makes them better. Instead of just writing, I study writing. But the more you study the more there is to study. As Jeff Goins says, at the end of the day, you just have to sit your butt in the chair and do the work – or something like that.
I went to the She Speaks conference last summer and took this.
I knew I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t done the work yet. But the sting from the three rejections hurt no less.
Then, three months later God fulfilled a desire from my eight year old heart when my mom wrote “homemaker” in my School Days book under “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I became a mom, and a mom to a girl, no less, who I secretly named years ago and her daddy and I talked about like she was in the room with us way before she came here to live. My Love.
If you were to ask me what is the one thing in life I want more than any other it would be to stay at home and raise this child for as long as possible. But my husband wants would prefer me to work outside the home. Maybe not today but definitely one day. Even though I already got off the ferris wheel once – I mean a few times.
“I’ll write”, I tell myself. I’ll work at home and write. Which of course can be done if it’s God’s will. But right now that’s not happening.
Taking the advice of pastors and counselors and friends (yes, this has been the heaviest personal burden I’ve carried), I’m following Moses’s lead and using what’s in my hand – my degrees, my experience.
I started a blog last week that I can monetize that helps moms teach their children “right where they are”. It’s where I pour out everything I know about teaching and children from my 13 years in the classroom. Plus, there will be other motherhood stuff on there that I like to talk about. It’s called Triple Braided Kids. It’s my “business blog”.
I would love for you to stop by, and even enter a giveaway or two or three or four – there’s actually two weeks worth of giveaways going on right now, and their for really good prizes – I mean really good.
So where does that leave this baby that I started five years ago under the first name “The Rodgers Two”? I don’t know yet. God hasn’t told me to give her up, and I hope He doesn’t because I love my space here, ever so small, and it will be hard to let her go.
But it is time for my baby to grow up, and that means I need time to decorate a new room for her. While I’m praying and thinking and dreaming about that, I may not be around here as much. Sure, I’ll stop in to tell you about other places I’m writing now and again, but there won’t be a regular post schedule. Hopefully soon I’ll be back with a new passion, vision, purpose, and full of intentional wisdom from the Lord.
So I can keep telling His stories.
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