Yesterday morning I stood in the bathroom putting on my eyeliner. There wasn’t a little girl pulling q-tips out of the drawer or tugging on my robe begging for me to pick her up. I didn’t feel rushed from a baby sitting next to me in a bouncy seat about to get bored at any minute. Instead, I heard distant laughter from upstairs. My girls were playing – together.
“Has the fog lifted?” I thought to myself. “Is this what it’s like to even get dressed and then to finish getting dressed in one day?”
I hear the advice often to not let yourself go when you have your first baby. I take this to mean get dressed every morning like you would any other morning, put on your makeup and style your hair, mainly for your husband’s sake, but also for your sanity.
When I was pregnant with my first daughter I jumped into the mom scene and went to a small group for moms. Babies and toddlers played around us as we talked about the Bible. But what I noticed at the first meeting was that none of the moms were “dressed.” Their hair was thrown up in messy buns and not a brush of makeup sat on their faces. I left the group that day with one thought, “That will never be me!”
Then my daughter was born.
Some days I tried. I tried hard to get dressed every morning in real clothes, hair, and makeup. But time suddenly weighed more than it had before. Sure, I could spend my time doing those things, but then I didn’t get to do anything else that day – like unload the dishwasher, throw a load of clothes in the washing machine, or heaven-forbid sit down for 15 minutes with a cup of coffee.
Getting dressed no longer became worth it. My short amount of time was too valuable.
Now I scoff at the advice to new mamas, or even second-time mamas, to get dressed every day. Oh, the pressure that comes with that advice.
Instead, I’ve learned that every stage is a season, and husbands and all other people should display empathy, compassion, and take a walk in a new mama’s shoes. Show a little grace and be appreciative your baby has a loving mama to take care of him or her.
Those early days are brutal. There’s no other way to say it. First baby or fifth baby, babies and the toddlers they become suck you dry in many ways. In order of priority, getting dressed ventured far down on the list. Staying alive and healthy is more like it.
But I have good news. The fog does lift. The season does change. Then you find yourself standing in the bathroom putting on eyeliner, wondering why you’re even putting on eyeliner, while your sweet babies are upstairs playing – together and alone.
You look in the mirror and think, “I’m back!”, but those not-so-distant memories of the early days of eye bags and messy buns and sweatpants leave a sweet memory in your mind. It was a season. And just like every season, there was beauty, but it has passed.
So, mama, try to relax. Mute the voices around you and don’t get dressed. Just enjoy your babies because the fog will lift.
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