31 Days of Interviews with Single Women Making a Difference

When I was in college I read this book called Lady in Waiting. It was the first book I ever read about being single. I still have it. Sentences are highlighted, starred, and noted throughout. Of course in college it was easy to be a lady in waiting because I didn’t think I’d be waiting that long. However, as my twenties began, and continued, waiting was no longer easy. All those highlighted sentences became nothing but hopeless ideals I didn’t live up to.

Throughout my adolescence and college years I was a good Christian girl who loved Jesus. There was not a rebellious bone in my body. I was the model girl for books like Lady in Waiting. I deserved to marry the Christian guy, young, and live happily every after. But after I graduated college dating wasn’t even in my peripheral vision, much less marriage, and I got scared. My faith in God’s promises, and His sovereignty, began to collapse around me without me realizing it until about ten years later.

During my twenties, I lived with anxious fear that I would never get married. The older I got, the more fear consumed me. Even though my defiance wasn’t obvious on the outside, I continued to lead my small group and serve in other leadership roles at my church, on the inside I was determined to get what I wanted regardless of what it cost me – even if it cost me my relationship with Jesus. I did everything in my power to not make singleness my forever reality. I obsessed on guys, chased guys, and then begged them to stay when I realized the relationship was going to end. Trust in myself replaced my trust in God. Marriage and men became my idols.

I don’t know why God allowed me to go on the journey I took, but I can’t help but think humbling me was part of it. Through my singleness I learned that it is only by God’s grace that there is anything good in me. My “good Christian girl” identity falls flat unless He is the source of it. I learned that surrender is living with a palms-up posture ready to receive whatever God chooses to give me – good or bad – but that this posture is what brings His supernatural peace. And I learned that it is possible to be content in suffering. It is in my suffering that God has the opportunity to show-off His glory in my life.

I also think God allowed me to go through my experience so that I can talk to you.

As is true with anyone, it’s easy for me to look back and see how the pieces of the puzzle fit together. God does use all things, even our secret character flaws we don’t even know we have, to bring about His purposes. I was a very insecure girl. God used my insecurity to accomplish a task in me He wanted accomplished, and a task He wanted accomplished in His kingdom – to mentor other single women.

However, I still sometimes hold on to the regret of being a lady in waiting. The title of the book, Lady in Waiting, does not necessarily match its contents because the book is actually about not being a lady who waits to become the woman God wants her to be, but to become her now. I waited. I waited to draw close to Jesus. I waited to make decisions. I waited to find out His purpose for my life. I waited for marriage. Then I quickly learned that marriage changes very little. If you’re a lady in waiting single, you’ll be a lady in waiting married. No, you’ll no longer be waiting for marriage, but you’ll still be waiting for all the things you thought marriage would give you that only God can give you.

I want to introduce you to 31 women who are not waiting. Today starts a new blog series called “31 Days of Interviews with Single Women Making a Difference”. These are the women I wish I were when I was single.

Each of these women have unique backgrounds, circumstances, and stories about how they are making a difference as single women. Some are in their 20’s, some have found their forever career, some are names you’ll recognize, some have been married, some have children, some struggle a lot with singleness, some are admittedly scared.

But none of them are just waiting. They’re using their life to glorify God. Because guess what? No minute, no year, no life is wasted to God. There is no in-between or waiting time for Him. He is sovereign, and He is sovereign over singleness. Single women, you have a purpose now. Your life is now. I pray these women are an encouragement to you.

These are the women who will be sharing their stories over the next month (This is somewhat tentative but mostly not):

Day 1 :: Rebecca Halton

Day 2 :: Stephanie Hoffpauir

Day 3 :: Joy Pedrow

Day 4 :: Katie Sandbrook

Day 5 :: Anjelina Cruz

Day 6 :: Paula Hendricks

Day 7 :: Rebecca Snyder

Day 8 :: Jessica Bufkin

Day 9 :: Emily Enockson

Day 10 :: Liv Migenes

Day 11 :: Lillian Morin